Quotes'From'Real'Life

  • "Normative definitions of masculinity[...]face the problem that not many men actually meet the normative standards[: ...]the difference between the men who cheer football matches on TV and those [playing]. But there is something more[...]carefully crafted[.... M]any men who draw the patriarchal dividend also respect their wives and mothers, are never violent towards women, do their[...]share of the housework[...], and can easily convince themselves that feminists must be bra-burning extremists."

     

    I've posted this once on my Xanga and once on Facebook before (largely because I really like the quote). While my brother and I were watching a football game a few days ago, I mentioned the quote to him and that it was nearly impossible for me not to notice this fact anymore whenever I watched anything related to football (or probably sports in general, for that matter).

    He nodded before noting, "The thing that I've noticed is that ideals exist for both men and women: it's just that women – at all times – are expected to follow, and are enforced to, the ideal; men usually just have to support it."

  • Why me? I'm nothing special or all that attention grabbing.
    Really? I would beg to differ.
    Do you think I'm that way? Hardly. No one thinks that they're special or attention-grabbing but other people around them are.

  • *The Sister and I sitting on a bed; her hair is rather curly and somewhat frizzy*
    Sister: My – God, can you see how crazy and cool my hair is‽ *whips it around her head*
    *Suddenly, she stands up and bends over so that the top of her scalp is touching the top of mine*
    Sister: Can you feel it? Are you experiencing how awesome it is to have my hair?

  • *my sister at Walmart twirling one of the store karts around*
    Me: Wait, wait, wait! *I jump on the end of the kart*
    Sister: What? What am I supposed to do no- IIIIII CAN SHOW YOU THE WOOOOORRLLLDDDD…

  • Mother: Who wants ice cream? … Jonathan didn't answer, so he must not want any.
    Me: What? What did you ask?
    Mother: I asked if you wanted a girlfriend.
    Me: Hmm, well, I could eat both.
    Brother: Ha; that was cun'ing.

  • Mother: Jonathan, could you come here, please?
    Me: Yes'm?
    Mother: Did you know that your brother is having sex?
    Me: Uhh…what?
    Mother: Did…you know…that…your brother…is having sex?
    Me: So…you found the condom in his wallet*, huh?
    Mother: So you knew‽
    Me: Well, Mom, you really should have seen this coming. Umm…that pun was actually unintended.
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    Brother: So, what were you and Mom talking about on the couch when my friends were over?
    Me: Oh, just discussing your sexcapades in college.
    *Both I and him burst out laughing*
    Brother:
    Well, if you don't go digging through people's stuff, you don't find out things you don't want to know.

    *As discussed here, you should never put condoms in a wallet. This chafes them and wears them out.

  • Sister's Friend 1: What type of music do you like?
    Sister: Oh, well I listen to people like Bob Dylan, Bil-
    Sister's Friend 1: Who's Bob Dylan?
    Sister's Friend 2: Oh, he's that Jamaican guy.
    Sister:

  • *texting*
    Me:
     I's gon' needs you to walk ze Shiver [her dog]
    Me: When you get home
    Sister: Interesting grammar you have there - I don't see it -.-
    Me: It's ninja grammar
    Sister: False

  • Mother: Natasha, could you run up to my closet and get my sewing supplies?
    Sister: Have Jonathan do it: I have homework.
    Me: You know, Tash, I can't see why you can't just do it; going back into the closet is scary the first few times but you get used to it.
    Sister: Wha…? That's not funny. I don't get i- OHHHHHH, I get it now! It's still not funny!
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    Sister: So, there's this organization and they do can drives and the like every so often to help out. I want to participate but apparently you need to be 18. That's what I hate about being so young: there's all these things I want to do but can't.
    Me: Like Heroin.
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    Sister: So, yeah, there's all these things they let you do, because it's such a big organization, which I really want to do.
    Me: I'm fine with any of it so long as you remember protection.
    Sister: …what? No, shush.
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    Reason I love my sister: she puts up with me.

  • Me: Come to think of it, did you know I managed to never date a Catholic girl until my senior year of college?
    Mother: Really?
    Me: Yes; it's bizarre. Also, I have yet to date a Jewish girl. That is a travesty I sorely need to correct.