I don't know how it is to live with having been hurt. I've worked with many people that were deeply hurt/abused. Some that learn to develop a strong sense of self are usually best off and report feeling "more normal." Normal is actually pretty subjective -- a strong self-esteem -- that is security, belonging, purpose, competence and healthy sense of pride, sense of trust and being trusted, sense of being responsible, making valued contributions, making good choices and decisions, having a strong sense of self-discipline and self-control, knowing experiences of encouragement, support and reward, accepting mistakes and failures as challenges to further development, a sense of having a caring family and feeling secure in this experience.