Me in a nutshell
---
There was one time I was talking with my mother and she was listing off which girls of certain races (in some instances, religions) she would love if I went out with (because this is the type of stuff she does). Either myself or my brother asked about if I went out with Muslim girl. My mother's response was, "No, never. Those people are crazy."

My brother and I are confused.

Actually, to this day, I'm still confused. Now, I know my mother is racist. On multiple accounts, actually. However, while she will wax eloquently often enough on certain fortunate enough souls, usually follows of Islam (or, in her vast understanding, the entirety of the Middle East) are not targets.

Also, I know my mother is capable of decent rational thought. She can exercise that, I swear. Which is why my brain is literally unable to compute this situation. I mean - it just does not logically make sense. As a rational and thinking animal...how do you possibly come up with this? Surely you can't possibly think that a few extremists constitutes a full people, right?? And, further, if I were dating a Muslim, they'd probably be raised in America, right (if you can't get over the concept of the entire Middle East does not equal people of insanity)??

And, yes, I understand that some people don't actually constantly apply reason and logic to their daily actions and thinking and their actions cannot be expected to make sense - but, but - I do. And I cannot understand how you can honestly believe that they're "crazy" without your brain imploding. Yes, illogical thought does that!
---
     "You stopped me because you were so empty, like a cavern impeding in upon itself, and you were so stark a testament of the depth that life was willing to go."
     She looked up at me, then quickly back at her right hand, using the left to push her glasses back up her nose.
     "But shouldn't I be happy?"
     I laughed. "Yes. The greatest part is healing. I just want to be there, though - from the beginning. I want to see you at your most breathtaking and awing."
---
We, as a society, attach such significance to doing what's right and being an upstanding person. Which, to an extent, I find kinda funny. Because we only do it because so many people just never bother.

Despite all the temptation, humans remain flexible and completely controllable creatures. The most fascinating thing about being human is that once you gain awareness of yourself, you can do just about anything with yourself.

Doing what's right doesn't take much. It might take practice (many years of perfecting), but doing the right thing just once takes no effort but deciding to do it.

The change starts with you, and only you can do it.
---
Got back from the Translating Identities Conference 2 days ago, a conference specifically for Trans issues. It was rather amazing, though I'm drained.

And, in a bit of a related fashion, a girl in a formal suit is to die for.
---
The crazed pacing
With the racing placement
Of a pulsing amazement
That this time may hold attainment
Is a rare occasion
When you've forsaken placin'
Yourself in the line of venture
Yet the stubs are entered
You deftly laugh despite the uncertain pressure
Yet know indefinitely that any quip she mentions
Will attain such frank attention
Your wish for a current pension
Is suspended - ended?
Well, at least for this present session
Pretention suspended
Too nervous anyway for the mask to question
Every aspect of this willed convention
Still concerned that initial intentions
Will change in less time than the last impression
The seats filled empty 'cept the last couple to enter
Your eyes are forward, but your mind is centered
The entire flick upon whether
You should take her hand or wait your measure
You leave the way you entered
Hold the door for her, yet in the car still feel the stressors
Now your hands are shaking
Your mind is racing
To say some bit of conversation
Now her house you're facing
Walk the walkway, bracing
In the end - you're wondering what's been through her mind already

I thought I understood rhyme; Rakim laughs at me.
---
I can understand if you dislike school, but if you're still asking what's the point by around my age, I'm going to start worrying about you (in a non-loving manner). I can understand if you might question people's assumptions on its necessity for you to do well in life, I can understand if you question how they teach it or the system or what they focus too much on and not enough on, etc. but if you honestly don't think there isn't a merit to much of what they teach you...? History is important - if I need to invoke the cliché old saying or have to actually explain why this is so to you, I've lost all respect for you (it's harsh and I'm almost always never firm one way or the other - that should tell you something).
---
I think that wanting - no, needing - to create art and being unable to do so in at least an adequate fashion is more cruel a suffering than 19 (going on 20) years of depression.
---
     Jonathan looked out the window of the moving bus, avoiding focusing on the kids in his background. He'd let Kaz handle that.
     It seemed that's what Kaz had always been better that. Not that he'd stoop to their level, consider himself an equal amongst those dwarf demons. Jonathan wouldn't have been able to tolerate him otherwise. Rather, Kaz knew how to deal with it all, the crushing weight of the raining children this world seemed intent on pouring out. He might be a fan of contraception just for this reason, but his liberal ideals kept him from supporting this possible cure.
     No matter what, Jonathan would probably always respect Kaz for that.
     He watched the local elementary school rise over the hill they were driving up. Jonathan stumbled (while standing in place), completely shocked.
     "Kaz! What are you doing?" he shouted, turning towards his partner. "We stole this bus from that school! We're gonna get caught!"
     Kaz didn't look in his direction for a moment, his eyes intently upon the road. "Relax," he told Jonathan, his voice fixed and transposed.
     Despite this, Jonathan looked like he was about to tear out his hair (his lifelong commitment to growing his beard, however, may have caused him to only rip the hair from the scalp).
     His eyes still fixed on the road, Kaz sighed at his partner's rigid frame. "I checked Mapquest before I stole this. We ought to go back this way to get there. We'll be fine. We're in a bus. No one can stop us now."
     Jonathan's arms slumped. He went to the front seat that didn't have a cretin sitting in it and leaned his head against the window. Someone had stuck their gum into a wedge in the window, another had drawn with a permanent marker on the metal below the window frame. Jonathan shook his head, bitter at the waste of opportunity they were given.
     He breathed heavily, fogging up the window. Kaz was right (as he always was). He took comfort in the murky white he had made the window, a heterogenous mix.

     The precise cleanliness of it was what made it off putting. They said it was so that you wouldn't get sick. The instruments. They'd clean the instruments. Syringes, the trays. He wouldn't be surprised to learn they wiped the pills clean with a cloth, each one individually.
     It's irritating. Dear God - it...is...irritating. That damn squeaking. He'd ask them to stop and they just keep doing it. Oh, it's not that bad - like Hell if you know if it's that bad! It's 'cause they polish those damn floors all the time, always mopping, always waxing. The drone of monotonous squeaking, all day - by the nurses and the doctors. And, if you spend enough time in the place, they convince the patients they should wear their damn rubber shoes as well; and then they squeak.
     The glass was shiny, consistently clear and without smudge. They held that needle over him just to make him squirm, he was sure. "It's for your health." Yeah right.
     He'd sit there at night, unceasingly searching the ceiling for dirt, a cobweb maybe - anything. He had found some, once. In a corner, somewhere.
     It was supposed to kill germs. It was mandatory. "I don't want it!" They tied him down. There wasn't going to be a choice.
     Ohh, God, did it feel so good. He had rubbed it all over him. In a corner, tucked away. Jimmy had asked what he had, had asked, had asked. Full moon, he remembered. Shining so bright. By the pale moonlight he took it out from under the pillow where had hidden it. So refreshing, so nice. Mold, beautiful mold, all over.
     The door had busted open so loud. But he didn't notice. No, not until they grabbed him, forced him down. He tried to eat it, embody it. He'd be different than all of them; he'd have mold in his belly.
     He winced as the needle broke the skin. Bye-bye germs.

These Republicans are my heroes for today: http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2009/09/29/15080

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0100/investigation.html

Just when I thought I had composed a proper list, I have to add being Catholic to the reasons why I'm going to Hell! Ay, I may never figure it all out.

The "article" is actually beyond hilarious in how rediculous it is. Do read it if you need a laugh. My favorite line was, "Pansy priests pranced around in hideous dresses, all of which were black, Satan's favorite color." Because that has everything to do with going to Hell. Or am I supposed to buy into that tripe that men are utterly "masculine" (that's like trying to define normal...) and women vice versa?

The world amuses me.

My favorite comment on Xanga of the day:

It all makes sense now! Because God knows we never inherited rational and logical thought from non-Christians....

So, once more, I've come after the fact (almost a year by now), but I finally got Slipknot's most recent album. I hope it's good. It's been a really long while, I've realized, since I've listened to anything all that heavy (I haven't even touched any thrash metal in ages, for whatever reason; and thrash is hardly that heavy...). Maybe I'll just blast black symphonic metal (i.e. Cradle of Filth) for the rest of the day to make up for lost time...

Applied for a position at PetSmart last night. We'll see if I get the job. Probably would be best for me - gets me out, bicycling everyday, and gives me something to do. Hmm...I could probably still go out now...it's weird that it's only gotten relatively sunny the past couple of days only around 3:30 to 5 o'clock in the evening. Otherwise it;s just grayish overcast (which I love, don't get me wrong, but it's been too chilly and not all that enticing to go biking around in for extended periods of time). I could take a wack at reading some more, with the time I have. There's probably a slew of things I could do I always want to and never have time to that I won't do. It's scary how much time flies the older you get. An hour seems like so short a time period these days (and more frightening when it does turn out to be as short as you expected...).

In other news, I'm checking out the local churches (for once) since my parents refuse to go on Sundays (largely because our usual is all the way in Evanston, an hour drive away; plus they always feel this need  to go dressed their "best"; I'm showing up in jeans, thank you). There's a Protestant one that's only 5 minutes away on bike and a Catholic one within the same time frame. I don't know the times for the former, but the latter has one Mass time at around 12 (perfect). I'll check both out, of course. Plus there's one all the way by PetSmart, so of course I'll take a look at that one as well. Don't know its denomination, though.

Nothing much else to say. I better head out now, if I want to at all. Oh, Grandma's with us for a bit. My brother bought a hamster, too. Not the smartest little thing, but what more do you expect from a hamster (he was running in circles for hours, so I caught him and placed him on the second floor of his cage so he could realize it was there (his food is there, so it's kinda important). After pausing for a second, he tried to run in circles again and ran clear off the floor. I don't think he realized there wasn't floor there...)? I may post pictures later. The one mega cool thing he does is he knows how to climb up the walls of the cage. Poor guy hasn't realized this makes it easier for me to catch him yet....

EDIT: In recent news, Rebecca Tauber's back! Give her a welcome home. I've missed that girl.

A Small Request for the Unreligious

This is half rambling thoughts (though it's meant as a direct request), so I ask you to bear slightly with me.

If you haven't picked up on it yet, I'm Christian. Catholic, to be specific, but that's inconsequential. To be utterly brief and summational, I've always found that I got along better with those who were of different faiths or followed no religious belief at all.

I should also quickly mention, I admit that my own experiences (hence forming my current opinions) may very well be limited. Therefore, I don't begin to assume that what I describe here is necessarily true for every said person. In fact, I tend to do that with most people I encounter in life: treat things on a very individual level.

To be brief (again), the biggest difference between the avidly religious Christians and the latter group was the latter seemed to "think". I tend to believe in logic and reason with the same passion as the Enlightenment and that's how my mind-process functions.

Now, I'm not trying to set up a dynamic where the more professed of a Christian you are, the more unintelligent and irrational you are. And, of course, vice versa. I would clearly have no place in that dynamic. But we do know, thanks to our psychotic, fundie Christian friends out there who seem to find it their mission to make us suffer the same idiocy which has removed their own brains, that there is a large enough sample of Christians who do make that dynamic seem plausible.

Switching topics just briefly (I ought to make that my word for the day...), a club titled Williams' Secular Community was started just this year at my college. Excited at the idea of helping along a newly started group and that Secular thinkers (though, of course, namely aimed at atheists, agnostics, humanists, etc.) would actually get a group and space within the area of religious need was fantastic to me (at the office for religious needs, our group actually has a tag with information alongside the other religious groups on campus; it's pretty damn cool).

I ended up missing the first meeting, unfortunately, but promptly made the second. It appears that all (to my memory) religious individuals who has attended the first meeting to see what the club was about decided not to keep attending. Which was fine. Though I was slightly anxious as to the purpose and point of the club (it was undecided in the beginning). It had been advertised majoridly as a group for atheists, and, while I felt that was certainly important, I didn't want that to be the only focus of the group. Such an intent would easily alienate any others who would wish to join. In the end, the group has been slanted towards Secular thinkers (which I easily fit the category) with a concentration towards atheists, agnostics, humanists, etc.

Surprisingly, as I voiced my concern that second meeting, the members assured me the group was open to anyone and explained that's why they settled on the name they had. What I didn't expect, nor was it a worry (though I definitely appreciated the gesture), was an assurance that if I felt uncomfortable in the group at all to just let them know.

Obviously, many of the jokes in the group tend to be slanted towards Christians in a general sense. However, I have been given the permission (of course, I say that entirely jokingly) to "fire back" if ever any member gets ahead of him/herself. But in a group nearly entirely of atheists/humanists with one Christian, the environment is of no surprise.

And I know that the jokes are in light of and levied towards our psychotic friends; some of them pretty obviously so (I find creationism laughable, for example). Though I can't help but notice that, for some members, this is what Christianity means for them (largely in part because that brand of Christianity tends to get most airtime, etc. versus the less controversial or extreme Christians).

I know that in discussing the formation of the Secular group during an Interfaith group that had started at the beginning of the year, the members of the Interfaith group felt that the use of "logic" and "thought" in the posters put up around campus implied that religious people were incapable of thought or reason. Of course, I'd like the point out that the posters were in reference to Secular thought. Religious thought may require reason to sort out, etc. but it is not in itself reason. Nor is it science. But I rest my opinions there. Let's see if I can finish this up relatively soon.

The members did have a point though. I certainly don't believe that religious belief suddenly equals the death of free-thought or reason. Largely because religions are intensely interpretation, etc. no matter what anyone else tells you. A statement like, "Well, Christians believe..." is immediately wrong. Religion is far too varied to just shoot down as if it is a monolithic set of beliefs. In fact, most theologians, priests, rabbis, etc. I've talked to have said that their respective religious texts are not meant to necessarily be handbooks on how to live. There are further steps which are required.

So whenever I hear certain universal statements about Christianity, I find myself wanting to object. Because, often, they're not in a Secular Community where I've been given full acceptance. They can be made by those who don't know that there are Christians out there who feel no need to make their own beliefs your beliefs. They could be made by those who are simply being general and do know there are those who think reasonably and could probably hold their respect. And there may be those who really don't give a damn either way.

Simply, my request is this - whether because you like to take to task creationists, are simply providing pieces of evidence for discussion about the validity of a religion, or some idiot totally infringed on your privacy and couldn't let each individual belief stand, don't blame all Christians. I'm no Jerry Falwell, William Dembski, nor anyone else along that line. I understand why we hold differing views.

I just ask that you don't forget I exist when dismantling an idea about or individual of Christianity. Call me sensitive, but I take words personally.

**I do realize I lend a rather harsh assessment of Creationism in here. While I do think you have every right to believe in it, I strongly object to the idea of having it taught in public schools, etc. I realize you may not fall under that category but that was who the remarks were most leveled towards. I'm sorry if I've come off cruelly in this entry towards you.

One of the drawbacks of having a penis: when you're swinging on a swing set, it's like constantly crushing a piece of your body the entire time. So then you try to shift it, you know, so you don't flatten the poor thing. But then it's laying on top of your leg; and it's not like there isn't enough heat they're being subjected to with the stupid seat of the swing crushing your thighs together. By the end, you're stuck wishing you could simply detach and reattach your reproductive order whenever you wish. That would be sweet. And very difficult.

I honestly do have to wonder how I end up with so large a group of the female sex for friends. For this time period, you'd think otherwise.

Which reminds me of Sophomore year, as a Freshman Lilia openly adjusted her bra and, I think, complained about her period. Oddly enough, she decides to remark that she really shouldn't be telling me this stuff later. To which I must react - why? Like I don't know you're wearing a bra. Or that you have a period. It's like we give such minuscule stuff a feeling that we shouldn't be talking or sharing it. One of my favorite things about the Ancient Greeks was their public bathrooms.

Just a slew of connected toilets with no walls between them. And they just sat their and, as they did their universal business, discussed whatever a normal conversation would cover. Fantastic! No worries about embarrassment over non-embarressing stuff. But really, the more pressing and important question of this matter was why I didn't try to do more with a girl so open about her bra. The possibilities were probably endless. But, for another day.

However, the topic does bring us to another topic. Ever been somewhere with your parents and there's a group that's somewhere near in the social setting? And, of course, mom or dad mentions something like, "Can't those kids sit still?" or "Why are they so loud?" And, of course, you can't help but think both statements are ridiculous. But, more so, it goes back to that basic tenement of whatever pleases and makes you happy to a tee isn't necessarily what you ought to expect. There are others in this world. Actually think of them (father dearest, start taking notes). I guess when people act out, or against what's "publically/socially acceptable", I always want to object, "So?" If someone's happy - cherish that. For the sake of God, cherish that. For a world stricken by lies, two-faced...ness, cheating, depression, lack of proper self-esteem, betrayal, physical parental abuse - and the many, many et cetera, this person is happy. Geez, let them have that! I honestly think, if you don't just live at least once in your life - what's the point? Take a risk, make a fool of yourself, cuss pointlessly, sing to yourself in public (I apparently wasn't loud enough to get odd glances at the park today), play the penis game in a public sphere, just do something that reminds others how badly we construct expectations that have no real (logically held-up) reason for being followed. So, okay, yeah, they're being loud and disrupting others just a bit. They're also 14. And have more screwed up domestic issues than you want to sift through. Let 'em be...not like they're harming anyone or being immoral. Let them have the moment.

I rediscovered why I loved Metallica again today. I dunno if it's just because I grew up to it, am just used to it, or whatever, but I love the full sound of an electric guitar. Amazing instrument.

Yeah...trust I seek
    and I find in you
Everyday for us something new...
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
(-Metallica)

There was some seemingly unrealated rant I was going to go with that...Sabbath, anyone?

I wonder if I have to serve Sunday Mass this week. Probably. I usually do. Williams' Secular Community party on Saturday. Plus all my homework. And Work. Should be fun....

Hmm, yeah...totally can't think of what else I was going to say. Which is odd, because I could've sworn...huh. Definitely one of my more...free-form flowing thought...like entries. I'm usually not this flitty. Random topics FTW, I suppose.

Oh, do you believe in Rock 'n' Roll?
Can music save your immortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance...real slow?
-Don McLean

Heh, I'm such a product of the suburbs...

Because I can't keep quiet in the face of stupidity...heh, no matter who listens....

First, why is it we continually seem to look towards Beauty Pageant contestants for leaders? Ignoring my own professed beliefs...I think the past couple have been compelling reasons not to bother!

That could go into many other beautiful arguments and theories but for another day.

The other thing that pisses me off - two idiots (I do not use this lightly) on Revelife decided to make the claim that Christians were a "hated" group. News flash - just because someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't make you a hated group.

Ever been to a white supremacy website (check out Jew Watch if you're direly interested)? Their entire argument is that they believe in the freedom of others - but God forbid those minority groups work in the system and happen to come out on top of the majority. "The majority people in each nation deserve better." Essentially - you can live, so long as I get representation and what I say is considered right - only me.

Hmm, so that's what makes a hate group. It couldn't possibly be that people find the ideas utter ludicrous.

Forgive, this might totally be out of place for me here, but I'm bisexual and half Haitian. I honestly don't know how I got the idea in my head, but somehow I thought I had a better idea of hate and discrimination.

Let's look at the hate crime statistics recorded by the FBI for 2007.

52.2 percent were motivated by a racial bias
16.4 percent resulted from religious bias
16.2 percent resulted from sexual-orientational bias

Well, seems the religious beat us. Of course, it's not exactly mandatory for local law enforcement agencies to record hate crime information (http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/Articles/000,004.htm). You don't possibly think that some states could give a damn less about what queers get killed, do you? Without hate crime punishments within a good deal of states still? No, not at all possible.

Well, now, let's break this down, shall we? According to the FBI, of those committed in anti-religious bias,

68.4 percent were anti-Jewish
9.5 percent were anti-other religion
9.0 percent were anti-Islamic
4.4 percent were anti-Catholic
4.3 percent were anti-multiple religions, group
4.0 percent were anti-Protestant
0.4 percent were anti-Atheism/Agnosticism/etc

Hmm...so, combining the Catholics and Protestants...that's 8.4% anti-Christian hate crimes. (you know, versus the 68.4% anti-Jewish ones).

Now, breaking down the sexual-orientation in a similar fashion,

59.2 percent were classified as anti-male homosexual bias
24.8 percent were reported as anti-homosexual bias
12.6 percent were prompted by an anti-female homosexual bias
1.8 percent were the result of an anti-heterosexual bias
1.6 percent were classified as anti-bisexual bias

So, even will our less than accurate numbers (for those who have gone unreported who were gay, etc.), considering there was a .2 percent difference between the religious and sexual-orientation people victim to hate crimes, there was about 89.8% more people victim of a hate crime with anti-sexuality bias than those victim of hate crimes with a anti-Christian bias.

Wait, wait - Christians are a hate group?

Heh, forgive me if I'm a little confused - who has the right to marry at the moment? Better yet - who has legal benefits given by the State that I don't have?? Want to talk about housing situations? How they're fucked as a result of anti-racial discrimination that we're still feeling the affects for? Or how about that if my name were Jamal, I would have 50% less of a chance of being hired (http://books.google.com/books?id=9I7ExPk-920C&pg=PA226&lpg=PA226&dq=Black+names+job+employment&source=bl&ots=r6Wsam1HvT&sig=eNcRkSPD3dnOAAA6kAP2jhQuvgE&hl=en&ei=L2T3SfeAD6WsNaOLoLYP&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=8#PPA226,M1) than if I submitted an application with my actual name?

Hate group? Are you kidding me? I'm floored! No, I'm insulted. I'm flabbergasted. In this country, you have the audacity to complain that just because your ideas are opposed, you feel you're hated? Perhaps you should recheck your ideas.

I believe in free speech; I believe in it because only in open dialogue can we further in progress. This is the perpetuation of idiocy.

In other news, gay Iraqis are dying by torture: http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2009/04/26/10950#comments
In Uganda, people still push for jail-time for life for being found to be gay: http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2009/04/24/10921#comments
Antisemitism is on the rise again in Europe: http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/883342.html
I'm still able to find pictures like this online:
 (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://patdollard.com/wp-content/uploads/nigger-make-up.jpg&imgrefurl=http://patdollard.com/2008/07/theyll-call-me-a-nigger-mccain-and-hussein-have-begun-nastiest-presidential-battle-in-decades/&usg=__0olbGA313rc2GpCXQ49eW0QRcU0=&h=290&w=400&sz=29&hl=en&start=2&um=1&tbnid=tcQhMM3UuJfgtM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dnigger%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1)
Many still don't understand sexism when faced with it.
And for way too "comfortable" an amount of people, I'm still a nigger - and I'm still a faggot

What's that other negative word people call me for being Christian? Oh, right - there is none

What brought you to Xanga? What made you stay?

I was brought to xanga due to Nox, back when I used to frequent the Church USA chat rooms. I didn't know what the Hell it was, at first (my first few posts are beyond comical, in my opinion). Upon figuring it out, I fell in love with the environment  Honestly, Xanga created the idea of a ton of teenage journals in anonymity for open navigation on the inter-web. There still remains no environment like it, with the layouts it provided. It was, really, personality connection for those driven into isolation. As I've waxed before, that's since changed, but xanga is still very much that way for me.

As for staying, I'm not entirely sure. I've grown exceedingly tired with Xanga. While I love the initial concept, and the Featured Weblogs and (to an extent) the Ish sites were quite good, some of the junk they've added is downright pointless. Upload pictures...on a journal site? No one's about to make albums. And you could just see the picture with the original post; that way it makes sense. Blogrings have never made sense to me. It's like MySpace - I can alter what it says (and, true, MySpace has layouts) but that's it. No interaction whatsoever.

Plus, I really want to know what dumbass decided to fuck up the Look & Feel option. True, the new way to make layouts is quite user-friendly  But, surely they knew that half of the fun of layouts was screwing around with the HTML code...right? I mean, really? You didn't realize that?? Okay, so you've ended up limiting us severely instead. And they honestly don't know how to pick Featured Weblogs for shit. Some of the most stupid crap is posted instead. Take a look through the suggested ones, then see which ones they decided to feature. I'm also growing exceeding sure Xanga has a anti-gay bias. Revelife was the first Ish site, wasn't it (or one of)? Plus, that's the only one they have? People have gathered around having an atheist ish site in the ideas section, but they haven't implemented that yet. Coincidence?

I mean, I know the hypocrisy of typing out complaints about a site I'm currently using. But beyond it's core function (an online journal/blog), Xanga team fails on many accounts.

Still, I'm here. Fact is, my entire journal since (I think) Freshman year of high school is here. My thoughts and ideas. Exactly the point of a Xanga - the person scribbled and inscribed in the layout and words and pictures they leave behind. I have a True Badge, too. But I suppose I have it for the old Xanga I used to know, before the celebrities and the ignorance the internet is so good at exposing in others was shown so blatantly. I couldn't part from this profile. It means too much.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Just saw a xanga article titled Why Do People Think Christian Rap is Wack? Probably because you've removed the never-staying-within-societal-expectations and groundbreaking aspects of it, not to mention ripped it utterly from its roots and probably reject those roots as well. I wouldn't be surprised to find the quality sub-par as well. Harsh, but if you don't recognize what Rakim, Jay-Z, Nas, or Biggie did to advance the way we bother to look at lyricism or acknowledge the groundbreaking affect Dr. Dre's The Chronic had on producing, I'm not going to take you seriously as an emcee (and if you cannot tell me the origins of that word and how it pertains to my current usage...yeah, you get the point).

I was going to say something for this post, but I've forgotten. I should be doing hw anyway.

Seems like I've been able to just let lyrics speak for myself these days...

Well, papa, go to bed now -
It's getting late
Nothing we can say is gonna change anything now

I'll be leaving in the morning
From St. Mary's Gate
We wouldn't change this thing even if we could somehow

There's a darkness of this house that's got the best of us
There's a darkness in this town that's got us too

But they can't touch me now
And you can't touch me now
They ain't gonna do to me what I watched them do to you

So, say goodbye; it's Independence Day
It's Independence Day all down the line...

Just say goodbye; it's Independence Day
It's Independence Day this time...

Now, I don't know what it always was with us
We chose the words
And, yeah, we drew the lines

There was just no way this house
Could hold the two of us
I guess that we were just too much of the same kind

Well, say goodbye; it's Independence Day
It's Independence Day
All boys must run away

So say goodbye; it's Independence Day
All men must make their way
Come Independence Day

[Sax solo]

Now the rooms are all empty down at Frankie's joint
And the highway, she's deserted
Clear down to Breaker's Point

There's a lot of people leaving town now
Leavin' their friends and their homes
At night they walk that dark and dusty highway all alone

So papa, go to bed now
It's getting late
Nothing we can say can change anything now

'Cause there's just different people comin' down here now
And they see things in different ways
And soon everything you've known will just be swept away

So say goodbye; it's Independence Day
Papa, now, I know the things you wanted
That you could not say

But won't you just say goodbye?
It's Independence Day
I swear I never meant to take those things away...
-Bruce Springsteen