Music

  • So, Eminem, Li'l Wayne, and Drake performed at the Grammys, I was informed:

    On the comments of this video, someone had said, "Great moment in hip-hop."

    Is that so?

    For a genre that was founded on pushing boundaries and trying to bring awareness to issues that - quite frankly - the country didn't give a damn about hearing, it's kinda embarrassing as a rapper to hear Wayne censor every two words of his song. Now, of course, he's not (by any means) using cuss words in any purposeful fashion. Jay-Z's immortal "I kept feeding her money until her shit started to make sense(cents)" both utilizes the words for double entendre and are aptly appropriate for the character construction in the song. Further, since cuss words are words of frustration, often enough they can be utilized for the appropriate show of anger.

    But fine, it's not the ideal use of the words and, let's face it, you can't hope to go mainstream if you don't censor yourself a bit. Plus there are ways to subvert this concept through censorship.

    Let's focus on the quality of the verses instead. ...haha. Other than Eminem, they SUCK. And I feel I have to be that blunt, that big, that obnoxious about this, I really do. Because rap is a beautiful genre which really calls on the voice as an instrument and speech as a form of rhythm and delivery in a skilled fashion - yet we are utterly unaware of this.

    Yes, rap became commercial, hit the mainstream, etc. Yay! But at what cost? Alright, the songs are somewhat angsty. Teens like angsty, right? Forget actually knowing what they're talking about, it sounds nice, though. No, seriously, I mean, did you hear Drake's rhyme schemes? Anyone who starts off with "Last name 'Ever'/First name 'Greatest'" should not be allowed to touch a mic again. You call that wordplay?? And then you continue that pace of rhyming for the rest of your short verse??

    I know Wayne got famous for his use of wordplay - but I don't hear any. Honestly, Em puts these two to shame. Intensive rhyme schemes and unique flows, he's the only one pushing himself in this current music industry as an artist (even if his subject matters are treading old ground without the same amount of focus often...).

    Alright, fine, but this is just rap. The commenter said hip hop (as in the culture), right?

    Now, I'll admit - I actually like the polished, computerized beat. I like the harmonized singing which is pure pop. Culturally speaking, these are not hip hop (though they are hip pop). Actually, I wouldn't mind them becoming a further part of hip hip (and, let's face it - computerized beats are pretty much hip hop by now).

    Admittedly, I really like alternative rap. I like lyricism. For me, I like hearing words rhymes. Show me how you move around the beat, give me an impressive flow. That's why Linkin Park's Reanimation is still something I listen to. More of a hybrid between what's emerged as rap these days and old school hip-hop, it's got fantastic lyricism for a lot of its songs, plain and simple. I can't understand most of what Curse is saying - but Hell, the guy knows how to rhyme and that's a pretty damn impressive flow:

    And, yes, Flobots doesn't sample (though using live instruments gets a similar result, the point is that it's different from the cultural roots of rap in terms of creation), but they're pretty insane lyricists.

    But rap in terms of the culture has changed greatly. As HipHopDX put it about Beastie Boys' Paul's Boutique, an album like that can never happen again. The amount of samples used can't be recreated simply because of copyright laws. Whereas beats used to be taken from carefully chosen drum work on different songs, now they must be created on the computer, making them mostly sound the same and not as authentic.

    Nas's New York State of Mind or Jay-Z's Can I Live (it's the song playing on my profile page) or Brooklyn's Finest are very hard to come by again.

    Further - well, the subjects just aren't the same that they were. I'm not saying we need to bring back Afro-centric lyrics, though they did bring out the plights of the ghetto and racism, just as the Hip Hop Renaissance brought out the frustrations of the crack generation, poverty, and even larger increasing crime (even if not in as focused a manner as the Golden Age of Hip Hop did).

    And it's there that the notion of this moment being great for hip hop becomes downright ridiculous. Lack of any genuine revolutionary change, a major departure from the roots of the culture, a crowd cheering at these things with (likely) a complete lack of knowledge of the culture and its roots, and reduced and skipable subject matter - this is a great moment for hip hop for you?

    Hell, in terms of rap, even - it's pretty bad. Like I said, Eminem's the only salvageable piece of this. Reasonable Doubt being performed at Radio City by a live orchestra was a great moment for hip hop. This was not.

    Just for a reminder of flawless music:

  • I watched District 9 a couple of days ago. While I had very high expectations for it...I was disappointed. I was actually surprised how much so. I was going to write in detail about it, but I'm tired and have already done so on Facebook. Therefore (while I still do love you all), I'm simply going to quote what I wrote on Facebook:

    First, I agree entirely with you, A-----, that the special effects and acting were phenominal. And I loved the documentary style and how they did it, maybe because it was just so different from normal movies.

    Second, my complaint actually wasn't that it wasn't happy. I like the depressing, the warped, etc. The aliens got away, anyway - to me, that's a happy ending (at least partially).

    R------ - the basic plot of the movie is that a alien mother ship stops over a part of South Africa and is unable to move further on. Eventually, the government drills into the ship to find millions of starving aliens aboard.

    The government builds a bunch of low income housing and the place easily turns into a ghetto. Poverty, crime, et cætera. People stereotype the aliens, assume they want to kill humans for the fun of it, ban them from different establishments (there are signs reading Humans Only), et cætera.

    The idea is that it's supposed to be an allegory for apartheid South Africa (or, at the very least, racism or marginalized group descrimination).

    Here's my complaint. While, yes, it opperates quite well like a regular action flick (actually, too much so; without the advanced concepts, it's strickingly like a formulaic action movie) and has the basic concept of this allegory of suffering and prejudice, let's shed the allegory for a bit and actually look at the aliens as a suspect class and marginalized group.

    While some parts are *perfect* (like the woman commenting about how the aliens will take over a buisness and kill everyone while, in the background, an alien is digging through the garbage for food), there's the aspect that nearly ALL the whites in the movie are in position of power, all the blacks (except a select few) are in positions of poverty, gangs, etc.

    Well, this is just accuracy of current South Africa (caused by apartheid) - fine. But that means different levels of damage against marginalized groups (the descrimination and isolation of the aliens) and the results of the above on sociol-economic issues for blacks. This isn't addressed. Rather, all humans are treated in a color-blind fashion (despite the obvious racial division throughout the movie) and the aliens are thought of sadly only because of the actions taken against them by the humans. The movie could have probed these different levels and effects of descrimination through these different levels - but it doesn't.

    My second complaint was the blatant descrimination toward the alien within the movie itself.

    First off, Wikus is pretty much an abhorrent character at the beginning. On top of clearly being xenophobic, he happily massacres tons of babies, and he's a spineless twat.

    Of course, that's just the beginning. And I like the concept of giving us a character like that to see his development. I actually really like that concept.

    Here's the problem though - he doesn't really adequately change. The worst part is when he decides to steal Christopher's ship and doesn't bother to even flinch when he hears the poor guy being beaten above him as his son looks up, asking "Father?". In fact, as the boy then looks toward Wikus in fear, Wikus just lies to the kid and says it'll be alright. I mean, how do you do that and live with yourself?

    And THEN, after crashing the only means that Christopher has to get home, he has the audacity to try to fun away when he's in a full metal body suit and could have easily saved Christopher when he's, once again, getting the living shit beat out of him.

    And then there's the fantastic aspect that Wikus continues, way until the end of the movie, to refer to Christopher as a Prawn, a term already clearly defined and well known to be derogitory towards the group. If we are to use the allegory of an apartheid South Africa, the aliens can be thought of as blacks. It's essentially like calling them niggers the whole movie through.

    The issue with this slow and rediculous character development for Wikus is...he's the main character and he's gets so much focus it's rediculous. I mean, it's one thing to have the plot like this but then we focused on Christopher. But, no, it's pretty clear our sympathies are meant to go towards Wikus.

    Christopher is the one who's been isolated in South Africa, has his people shot with no issue, has them starved and cheated in this ghetto - and we're focusing on Wikus.

    I mean, there wasn't even much sympathy given towards Christopher. In the scene that *should* have been really powerful (when he finds the room where they're expirimenting on his people) - the damn camera stays on Wikus most of the time! I mean, is it human-centrism? I don't get it. Regardless, for a movie trying to point out the cruelties of one to another, it's a pretty bad slap to the face to focus on the human so singularly when the cruelties are happen ten-fold to the other species.

    Basically, District 9 had amazing potential. They could have really probed the different levels of descrimination in a really creative way, as I mentioned above. Rather, they just ignored it.

    Then they could have *at least* given attention to the plight of the aliens. There are racist movies from the 90s with a black and white main characters thatare more sympathetic and better at highlighting the marginalized character as a multi-dimentional character than District 9 was.

    Sorry; I was really disappointed.

     

    I think I'm going to do an album review of Darkness On the Edge of Town. Music makes me happy and an album review would require me to submerge myself in the album for a while in order to do a proper review. Plus I actually want to go through old Bruce stuff that I've listened to for ages but never given a critical eye to. It also lets me probe and explore this music I love in more depth.

    In other news, I have to write a 10 page paper for my Atheism class by Thurs. While it's a topic I actually will enjoy (arguing that religion is not the cause for evil but often the tool used by others to cause evil)...I don't want to write a 10 page paper (that's longer than anything I had to write for last semester, with my 4 English courses. Then again, had I not been given caps on pages, I could have easily hit 10). Plus it means doing research for it.

    Alright, it probably won't be that difficult, but I feel lethargic. Heh, and second semester is coming up. Joys and yays.

  • I guess I should have an actual entry by now? It's been a bit of a while. Then again, my xanga has been more just my thoughts than an actual journal of my days. On the other hand...I haven't really given you guys much of actual entries as of late (either that or I'm just exercising my excellent inability to estimate time). So, for those who actually read this still, if any, what I've been up to as of late:

     

    It's currently Winter Study, which means three weeks of one class chosen before Winter Break. I decided to take Atheism in part out of interest and in part because I thought a decent amount of the Williams Secular Community would sign up as well. Well...not exactly. A Freshman who attended some meetings at the beginning of the year and someone who had been abroad the past semester, so - at first - I thought that I knew no one in the class.

    It's interesting. The class is basically entirely discussion based. We do some assigned reading the night before and then discuss the points made in them, which often unravels into many other related topics.

    As for class makeup, there's 8 atheists, a Christian who's in Williams Christian Fellowship, and myself (Roman Catholic, born and raised (the raised part is a joke)). Andy is, I think, Evangelical, but he's ever so slightly more liberal in his theology (believes in evolution without discrediting the notion of a relative creation story). It adds an interesting element to the discussions.

    I haven't revealed my own religious convictions to the group yet but that's largely because I don't want to commit myself to anything when I'm wrestling and weighing different types of arguments as much as because I like to play with expectations and it's easier to play the Devil's advocate when your identity is ambiguous (and, I suppose, passing has just become second nature to me by now).

    However, Andy (the Christian of the group) did happen to catch me outside of class when my crucifix was outside my shirt, so he was happy to find a fellow Christian in the class. In a situation that seemed so ironic it just has to be beautiful, it soon became clear that not all our same tenets aligned as I disagreed with him on what tends to be, regardless of sect, something most Christians believe in - whether belief in God is necessary for entry into Heaven. Neither of us left the conversation persuaded by the other, but I absolutely loved the conversation regardless.

    It's an interesting class and I'm really enjoying it, though disliking the 10 page paper due at the end. Plus only 2 weeks left of Winter Study....

    As most of my friends know by now, I sprained my wrist playing broomball with the Marching Band. We won the game (quite beautifully with 3 or 2 to 0), though. It seems to be on the mend, which shocks me because it's only been 48 hours and I've been expecting at least a week for recovery. This, of course, doesn't discourage my general motto towards my body that if I let it take care of itself, it'll mend any sort of pain, disease, or cut on its own without any assistance.

    Speaking of which, staying over Chelsea's dorm for the night to watch Tinman (sci. fi. version of The Wizard of Oz (she knows me too well...). Apparently the same person's also made a sci. fi. version of Alice In Wonderland) while Chels was sick turned into me catching whatever she had. I woke up this morning with the worst throat ache I've ever had. Taking my temperature confirmed also that I had a slight fever. It being 7:48 in the morning, I didn't want to deal with it and went back to sleep. By 2 today, the throat pain was barely noticeable anymore and (I assume) my temperature has returned to normal.

     

    The less pleasant portion of this story started at lunch (though flared up partially yesterday). I was just sitting there and, well, I just wanted to curl up right there. It's odd to explain. It's like you want to be alone yet hate it, wanting to do something but all that ends up being is just rocking back and forth. It often happens when I just leave the presence of other people. The thing is, you can't really tell when it's gonna come. I'm pretty sure it's a result of depression - I mean, what else am I going to blame random, out-of-the-blue, tormenting, unsettling feelings on? While I can generally expect a downer after having a great time, it also seems to go in cycles. Combined, this can throw off expectation. The other possibility is that I'm just losing control more as time goes on. The depression (as it goes untreated) could be getting worse. I have a distinct feeling I'm going to suffer a panic attack someday soon, which will be a clear sign things have gone very, very differently. Then again, I've been talking about me losing control on things I once had since Sophomore year of high school, so who knows. I have to admit, there'd be a bit of comedy (that I couldn't well enough just ignore) if I avoided suicide those many times just to lose control of myself by wearing out depression.

    But now I'm just being a downer. They say that there's two parts to therapy - changing the way you think, see things, et cætera, and the chemicals. Well, I know my shit is chemically based by now. Again, such mood swings that are so disturbingly strong are not normal. It's the changing the way I think part that bothers me. For one, I'm pretty sure my thought process and certain ideas and opinions (in relation to depression) are formed by the mental disorder itself. If I can be happy, the depressing is generally miles from my brain (though that might be a polarized effect - when I'm happy, I'm just happy and I'm over the top with it, a result of the fact that when I'm neutral I'm slightly depressed and "tainted" and then everything else from there is just worse; but I may be generalizing so don't take this as necessarily fact).

    However - as I've said many, many times - there's a great beauty to the sad, the depressing. I still stand by my belief that pain makes the most beautiful people. To me, we can be breathtaking in anguish. And we cannot forget the amazing delicacy and beauty in recovery. To be allowed past those walls others construct is humbling when we remember just what it means to be allowed to enter those places of another person.

    In many other innumerable ways, I find the depressing to be intensely amazing. Sure, too much of such a thing hurts (I've gone over this perilous system a million times in the past, no need for repetition). So, I'll pass on the therapy. Just give me something to fix this imbalance. I suppose it's void, however, since I'm likely never to seek treatment. Once you get past that hump around Sophomore to Junior year (those with this know what I'm talking about), it's easy to deal with for the most part there on out.

     

    Gah, I'd really like to be in bed now...it's 4:43. So, while I was running to grab food as quick as I could for dinner, I stopped by the grill for pizza (bad choice, but oh well). As I was sitting, eating, this guy (I think) was looking at me. I just remember I made eye contact, it seemed I might know him, so I nodded as acknowledgement just in case. He nodded back and said, "They're not that bad." He was regarding my Black Sabbath t-shirt. "I've been getting into them lately, listening off of YouTube, you know; they're pretty good. I like Paranoid, and Sabbath Bloody Sabbath." Admittedly, it sounded so damn weird the way he said it, like they were a new band or something. But perhaps I'm biased, since I happen to think that Black Sabbath happens to sound downright Godly.

    Now, I'm absolutely awkward socially and this is the most apparent in people I don't know extremely well. So, I nod, say that's cool, keep nodding, not sure what else to say. He nods, then kinda turns away and waves his hand in a dismissive fashion while saying, "Yeah." It basically looked like he wasn't sure what to say as well and then decided that that's all he could say and was confirming that this was, indeed, a good moment to just stop talking. Totally fair enough.

    Then, for a split second, I think, "Wait, was he trying to hit on me?" Now, such random questions tend to pop into my head regularly, largely because I question everything (regardless if it deserves such skepticism or not) anyway. I generally dismiss such thoughts, as I did. But then I saw the guy talking to another guy I recognized who I know is gay but not really involved in the gay/Trans community on campus and not really with much of a gay identity.

    So...maybe I wasn't so off after all. Which then makes his shyness just plain cute (but I'm a romantic, so I find any sort of stuff such as this by anyone as cute). He should've just gone for it; you might get a no, but you never know unless you try (alright, I realize I'm a downright hypocrite for saying this, but I'm trying to do better).

    I got up to leave shortly afterwards but then The River by Springsteen came on, and I just froze where I was. I have to wonder if it's just nostalgia that makes me so affected by his songs. I literally just stopped. Then again, I was also still tripping off of these odd depression emotions (and drinking soda, laced with sugar, probably helped nothing). In any case, I ended up staying until the song finished.

     

    Now I sleep!

  • I don't know why I'm posting this; I'm actually better than I've been in a long while. But I feel the need to; one of my all time favorites.

    For you, Ale_x_a, if you so need it.

     

    [Harmonica solo]

    On a rattlesnack speedway in the Utah desert:
    I pick up my money and head back into town
    Driving 'cross the Waynesboro county line
    I got the radio on, and I'm just killing time

    Working all day in my daddy's garage
    Driving all night...chasing some mirage...
    Well, pretty soon, little girl, I'm gonna take charge –

    The dogs on Main Street howl – 'cause they understand
    If I could take – one moment – into my hands
    Mister, I ain't a boy – no, I'm a man
    And I – believe in the Promised Land

    I done my best to live the right way:
    I get up every morning and go to work each day
    But your eyes go blind – and your blood runs cold
    Sometimes I feel so weak, I just wanna explode

    Explode – and tear this whole town apart
    Take -- knife – and cut this pain from my heart
    Find somebody ichin' for something to start...

    Well, the dogs on Main Street howl – 'cause they understand
    If I could reach – one moment – into my hands
    Mister, I ain't a boy – no, I'm a man
    And I – believe in the Promised Land

    Mmhmm...
         hmmhmmmhmmmmmm...[etc.]

    [guitar solo]

    [Saxophone solo]

    [Harmonica]

    Well, there's a dark cloud rising from the desert floor
    I packed my bags, and I'm headin' straight into the storm
    Gonna be a twister to blow everything down
    I ain't got – the faith – to stand its ground

    Blow Away! the dreams that tear you apart
    Blow Away! the dreams...that break your heart...
    Blow Away! the lies – that leave you nothin' - but lost...and broken hearted...

    Well, the dogs on Main Street howl – 'cause they understand
    If I could take – one moment – into my hands
    Mister, I ain't a boy – no, I'm a man
    And I – believe in the Promised Land
    And I believe in a Promised Land
    And I believe in a Promised Land

  • Alright, I'm going to do my review of Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run now because I said that I would, I haven't updated in ages, and Bruce always makes me happy (no matter what – ignore the slightly obsessive tone of that...).

    I'd say that the first thing you would have to know when approaching this is that, around this time, Bruce was known to romanticize a lot of his characters. He'd often focus on the down and out, misunderstood characters and celebrate them. Perfect example would be "Zero and Blind Terry". Terry falls in love with Zero, who is the leader of a gang. Terry's father dislikes this, knowing that Zero is a "child, a thief, and a liar". He sends troopers to hunt down Zero and bring Terry back. At the end of it, as time passes, Zero and Terry become the stuff of legends:

     

    Well now some folks say Zero and Terry got away
    Other said they were caught and brought back
    But still young pilgrims to this day
    Go to that spot way down by the railroad track
    Where the Troopers met the Pythons
    Old timers cry on a hot August night
    If you look hard enough, if you try
    You'll catch Zero and Terry and all the Pythons

    Oh just hiking them streets of the sky
    Just walkin', hiking the streets of the sky
    Just hiking the streets of the sky
    Hey Zero!...

     

    The album preceding Born to RunThe Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle – is beautifully chocked full of that stuff. It's a phenomenal album, by the way. While often tinged with sadness, and certainly a sense of persecution, the general ending was rather upbeat and hopeful. Probably due to the need to actually do a hit album this time around (or be dropped from his record label), Born to Run lives up to its name – again, it's those outcast characters, but this time there's a sense that they must get out. They're running – from fears, to hope, to safety, et cætera. In terms of concept, this is followed by the next album, Darkness On the Edge of Town, where the questionable heroes succumb, rather awfully, to their own vices. That one's a gloriously dark album.

    However (going back to Born to Run), the lyrics, for me, is what makes this album absolutely delectable. It sounds very, very upbeat (for most of the songs). Yet the lyrics are some of the most frantic, desperate, and borderline reckless I've heard.

    Finally – the music. This is absolutely gorgeous in terms of composition. I remember reading somewhere that a critic was noting Bruce turning to traditional song structure at the turn of Darkness On the Edge of Town. And I had never simply recognized that before (maybe because I basically grew up on this stuff). For the most part, traditional song structure is abandoned. Both "Thunder Road" and "Born to Run" are just a beautiful bombardment of melodies and harmonies that you can't initially keep up with everything that's going on. Plus it largely consists of piano (most of the album is piano, given that it was first written for composition on the piano with the other instruments added later), guitar, and saxophone. It's utterly gorgeous. It's actually a shame I can't do more service to the music in description, for it deserves as much scrutiny as the lyrics. Acknowledging my own short coming, just trust it never disappoints.

    And that's when the album becomes dubious. On one hand, it's a Bruce album. That means that the lyrics can be utterly mind-blowing. Thus, I'm expecting them to be. I want to be amazed, poetically moved, emotionally shaken, et cætera. However, not all of the songs necessarily live up to this, lyrically. Musically, they're fantastic (like the whole of the album), which means they're alright songs. But in comparison to other songs on the album, they're less than we could get. Yet, on the other hand, they're consistent with the whole of the album. And that's something that I've really tried to keep in mind more with music. Yeah, the songs are all nice – but how does it all work as an album? And, in that sense, the album totally works together, painting a wholistic picture that even the lesser songs help to fill in.

    With all that said, onto the songs of this delightful album.

    Thunder Road – 5 stars
    And here's my first problem, right in the first song. For one, the lyrics are killer here. As this blogger said, "Actually you can close your eyes, put your finger down on the lyric sheet of “Thunder Road,” and you’d probably land on a line that has resonated through rock and roll history."

     

    Screen door slams, Mary's dress sways
    Like a vision she dances across the floor as the radio plays

     

    A tale of admiration, hope for romance when it's never guaranteed, and a desperation to cut loose from all the bullshit – everything which is holding you down or you were told you couldn't have – makes this song the definitive song for a dreamer.

    And, really, what a perfect way to start off the album. As he asks Mary to take his hand, trust him despite all the possible doubts that can arise, he's asking us to venture with him. Enter this world, enter these possibilities. It's not even just asking that dangerous question of whether to enter into a relationship, ripe with the chance that they might "turn me home again/[because] I just can't face myself alone again." It's that followed up demand that we have a right to what everyone else seems to have a right to. These characters are the outsiders, the outcasts. Whatever Thunder Road is, whether it's success in rock 'n' roll to finally get financial success and support or just means reaching happiness finally, a family, support, it's being daring enough to say you can have it after it being so elusive for so long.

    Again to indirectly quote the blogger, there's a reason why they have to "case" Thunder Road. They can't just go to it, they have to steal it. Yet by the time the chorus rises up, in the midst of that, "Oh, oh, come take my hand/We're riding out tonight – to case the Promised Land/Oh, oh, oh, oh! Thunder Road! Oh, Thunder Road!" you know that's it. Despite the worries of your dreams, despite that fact that it's "lying out there like a killer in the sun/Hell, [you] know it's late but we can make it if we run". Shit, who cares about the worries, the odds - this is it! This is our chance, our moment. Don't let it get away.

    Honestly, the lyrics of this thing are amazing, just drawing you in while barely letting you go. Once again repeating the blogger, the specificity of the lyrics leaves you with something that could move you without the music. The car, their access of getting out of town and escaping, is the only redemption they have left (Now I'm no hero, that's understood/All the redemption I can offer, girl, is beneath this dirty hood), again tying in with that concept of having to case the Promised Land. Yet this redemption isn't given and passed down by God. They don't meet that "Heaven waiting down on the tracks" by being granted. It's up to them. Again echoed through every level of the song, this is repeated once more to Mary, acknowledging that, yes, "[his car] door's open, but the ride/it ain't free". But I think I've clearly said enough. I'll allow you to further peruse the lyrics at your own leisure.

    The fault, ironically enough, comes from the music. Don't get me wrong, it's gorgeous. Not quite the maze of "Born to Run", but a pretty thrilling thing to listen to regardless. From the piano to the guitar, it's fantastic and executed perfectly: "Well, I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk" – cue 2 second guitar solo. The issue is...it's too happy. Which, in and of itself, isn't a bad thing. It matches the rest of the album which is (I think) for the most part pretty upbeat.

    And why shouldn't it be? Sure, the lyrics are often afraid and anguished from the suffering, but this isn't an acknowledgement. This is a call to action, a fight back and a scream of rebellion that only rarely becomes downtrodden.

    And yet...I dunno. Maybe it's because for the longest time, at one point, I didn't have the original album and the only version I had of "Thunder Road" was the one off of In Concert/MTV Plugged. Then again, during that time, I had the version of "Born to Run" from Chimes of Freedom and both are very similar (stripped down to one or two instruments, a lot slower, and very sad). Yet I find "Born to Run" fine as it is. I just get left with this feeling like there's a disservice being done to the lyrics with the original. There's fear, very alive fear, in those lyrics. A slow, piano only version of "Thunder Road" seems to capture the spirit far more perfectly. The music works in the original, don't get me wrong. But the stripped down version does the song far more emotional justice and has a far greater emotional maturity. That wonder of Mary moving to the radio on the porch isn't lost. Yet when he asks her not to turn him home...God, you feel that pain.... It just...the original almost doesn't seem to compare. And yet, what could you do? The other version would be sorely out of place on the album. I'm giving it five stars, regardless, because it still fits with the whole of the album and is still a mind-blowing song. But the other version is far better.

    In spite of this, that end of the original is perfect. Whichever version, "Thunder Road" really isn't itself without it. Every time, slow or fast, it still manages to convey that sense of going forward. When it's slow, it's a steady, unstoppable plodding. When it's fast, it's a stampede, as if the feet are moving so fast that they trip over themselves in the rush and glory of it all. Either way - we're going somewhere.

    Tenth Avenue Freeze-out – 4 stars, if not for "Night" and "She's the One" it'd be a 5
    The lyrics aren't quite on par as some of the best on this album, sadly. As Mr. Ward (from American Studies) often said to me, it's the stories that really make the stuff that just draws you in (probably why The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle is one of the best albums ever, far as I'm concerned). Yet the second that main riff hits – from the long stretched note of the horn to the piano and guitar supplied groove, fuck, this is musical Heaven.

    I remember, when trying to re-listen to this album again, rediscover why so many love this album (since, admittedly, I grew up on this so it's mostly nostalgia and the fact that it sounds good that was driving my opinions. I missed a lot of the little things and I actually didn't play this album much other than 2 or three songs; that's changed now), I was comparing this version to the version off of the Live in New York album. It might have just been bad acoustics, but I think they tried to substitute the horns for just metal guitars. Which, admittedly, it works – but in comparison to the original, it practically seems a sin. The gorgeous lightness of the piano with the steady blasts of the horns and the guitar weaving its way through it all cannot be replaced.

    Plus – it just sounds like old rock (something that most people these days wouldn't know two things about, it seems). You can hear the jazz influences alive in it.

    A sort of fictional version of the creation of the E Street Band and Bruce's need for them for support, it packs plenty of emotion in its lyrics to keep it interesting.

     

    Teardrops on the city
    Bad Scooter [Bruce Springsteen] searching for his groove

    Seem like the whole world walkin' pretty
    And you can't – find no room – to – move

    Well, everybody better move over – that's all!
    'Cause I'm runnin'-on-the-bad-side and I got my back – to the wall

     

    Admittedly, not even Bruce knows what a Tenth Avenue Freeze-out is. You can always use your imagination, piece together clues from the lyrics and descriptions of the other songs on the album, or assume it's a term Bruce has made up and figure out the definition from the lyrics of the song.

    Regardless, it quickly becomes apparent that it's not so important what that one segment of the song is and that you should just realize the fantastic emotions that he's sending you are.

     

    I was standin' in the jungle
    Tryin' to take in all the heat they was givin'

    'Tiiiilll, the night is dark – but the sidewalk's bright
    And lined with the light of the livin'

    From a tenement window a transistor blasts
    Turned another corner, things got real quiet real fast

     

    Yeah, the story's been told time and time again and you could probably piece it together without hearing the song (given also the lyrics aren't that specific and kinda vague at some points). But it's that feeling of being at the cusp of just doing what you've always wanted to. That excitement, that frustration beforehand (I love the "teardrops" line), the bewilderment – just all of it. So that when the groove cuts away and the opening fanfare of the beginning before the groove hits kicks in, you feel that desperation

     

    And I'm aaaallllllllll alone...
    I'm all alone

     

    in spite of it being a song that you just want to get up and dance to. Clarence Clemons's (the saxophonist of the band) line "Now, kid, you better get the picture" sounds more like the parental warning of an older generation telling you this is how the world is, you can't do it this way, you're gonna fail. And the immediately following lines of

     

    And I'm oooonnnnnnn my own
    I'm on my own
    And I can't go hooommmmeeeee....

     

    just completes it as the groove kicks back in and the fear, the desperation, just feels like a part of life. By the time the last verse comes around, you're sold.

     

    Well, the change was made uptown
    And the Big Man [Clarence] joined the band [cue 5 second sax solo]

    Frrrrooooommm the coastline to the city
    All the little critters raised their hands

    I'm gonna sit back real easy and laugh
    When Scooter and the Big Man bust this city clear in half!

    Night – 3 stars
    Now, understand – it's not that "Night" is a bad song. In fact, as I re-look over the lyrics, I find them to be rather delicious in their own right (The rat traps filled with soul crusaders/The circuits lined and jammed with chromed invaders). Yet, in the end...well, it's just about escaping work. And, to be honest, most of the lines don't quite live up to that couplet. They come close, in their own subtle ways (noting that the highway "ignites" and then that last, fatalistic couplet "Somewhere tonight you run sad and free/Until all you can see is the night" really shocked me as I read them together, even after having listened to this song for years).

    But does it compare? It's like a sub-par version of everything. Which, for the boss, means some pretty decent shit regardless. But in comparison, it just doesn't match. It comes off feeling like more of a repeat, really (from the desperation, the crushing feeling of it all, and even the customary anonymous girl that is the narrator's desire).

    And, musically, I'm not really sold. Again, it's not bad...it's just not as good as it could be. There is an inability to deny "Tenth Avenue Freeze-out"; "Night"'s melody just doesn't quite excite me so.

    So, I give the track 3 stars because, in comparison to the other songs, it could've been better, not because it's a bad song. It deserves more stars if we're talking music in general, probably getting a 4. But on the scale of Born to Run, it gets a 3.

    Regardless of the rating, it still fills in the album. Because of its existence, we now get a vision of the worker who's just trying to make it through the day in the world that's being painted for us.

    Backstreets – 5 stars
    Finally, we get a truly depressing song on this album, other than "Meeting Across the River" (even though I feel "Meeting" actually isn't all that depressing). And...wow, is it fantastic.

    Once more, it's dealing with the concept of getting out. However, in spite of the anthems of "Thunder Road" and "Born to Run", it actually contemplates the failure. Yet, it's not really that their dreams failed. It's that they failed. While "Jungleland" warns of the possible destruction of their own environments and both "Born to Run" and "Thunder Road" seem like calls to escape it, "Backstreets" bemoans the results when they fail themselves so bitterly that it almost burns. The emotions are all there again, so desperate they seem ready to tear out of the song itself, but (with so terrible a subject matter) it seems, this time, ready to burn everything else down in its misery.

    The song beautifully starts out with a piano solo, weaving the melody that's to portray the whole song. The percussionist, Max Weinberg, provides a drum beat that sounds, fittingly, like a heartbeat. As the piano goes on, other instruments add in as the music rises in intensity, seemingly portraying the story of the song without words. Just as it rises in a final roar, it fades and then dies as the first stanza kicks in:

     

    One soft infested summer, me and Terry became friends
    Trying in vain to breathe the fire we was born in
    Catching rides to the outskirts, tying faith between our teeth
    Sleeping in that old abandoned beach house, getting wasted in the heat, yeahhh...
    Hhhiiiddinngg on the Backstreets
    Hhiiiding on the Backstreets
    With a love so hard and filled with defeat
    Running for our lives at night on them Backstreets

     

    It seems almost that the two's relationship is framed by that world they're trying so hard to stave off. Lost in a cruel and harsh world, they are their source of comfort, their reminder that there's still a reason to fight:

     

    Slow dancing in the dark on the beach at Stockton's Wing
    Where desperate lovers park, we sat with the last of the Duke Street Kings
    Huddled in our cars, waiting for the bells that ring
    In the deep heart of the night, we cut loose from everything – to go
    Rrruuunninngg on the backstreets
    Rruuuning on the backstreets
    Terry, we swore we'd live forever
    Takin' on them backstreets together

    Endless juke joints and Valentino drag
    Where dancers scraped the tears up off the streets dressed down in rags
    Running into the darkness: some hurt bad, some really dying
    At night, sometimes, it seemed you could hear the whole damn city crying

     

    Notably, there's continual language hinting at an inseparability from that darkness. As if timed by it, it determines when they release their own inhibitions in an attempt to escape it. While being abused by it, they run directly into that darkness.

    What is it? I'd like to think life. Likely to tie in with that theme thus far for the album of just people who have thrown you out, outcasted you, written up a bunch of hypocritical rules you couldn't hope to fit in, and all else you might think of along those lines, it could really be much more as well. Personally, there are easily themes of depression that I read out of darkness. Maybe they try to use that dark for their own sense of identity or comfort (dancers scraped the tears up off the streets dressed down in rags). I don't know. Regardless, it's a community of sufferers in the end (At night, sometimes, it seemed you could hear the whole damn city crying).

    In spite of that, I still argue that the failure lies in the characters themselves. For it's after that admittance of a whole city of sufferers that the narrator addresses that Terry leaves him. And by that point, he no longer cares about the rest of it all, not caring who is blamed or what it right or what is wrong, perhaps not even able to know anymore:

     

    Blame it on the lies that killed us
    Blame it on the truth that ran us down
    You can blame it all on me, Terry
    It don't matter to me now...
    When the breakdown hit at midnight
    There was nothing left to say
    But I hated him
    And I hated you...when you went away

     

    Bruce has been criticized before for an almost need on many songs to add some kind of noise in where there isn't lyrics being sung, making his own vocals ever-present. Perhaps there is good reason to question some of his odd, well, squeals at points of certain songs. This isn't one of those moments.

    Stripped of everything, it's a bellow of pure anguish. Without the use of words, he's communicated everything, almost as if everything so previously well done in the song wasn't needed.

    And it's in that stanza, I feel, that their own faults are revealed to be the cause of the final suffering, the defeat, and the admission of that defeat. For one, while (until the point where he says it's alright to blame him) the lyrics focus on blaming lies (a dream deterred?) and a truth they refused to face, if the blame didn't somehow lie with their own actions, it would ignore the kinda huge fact that Terry is leaving him.

    There's also the aspect that if the inescapable truth they refused to accept was there could be no change, no hope for something better, then Thunder Road is a myth (in terms of this album). Forget hoping for it, it's just a killer, nothing more. It's not a possibility of failure – it is failure.

    Interestingly, the breakdown hits at midnight, the pinnacle of darkness. Again, I think this is due to Terry's abandonment. But the thing that solidifies my belief in this is once the music fades for Bruce to whisper:

     

    Laying here in the dark, you're like an angel on my chest
    Just another tramp of hearts crying tears of faithlessness
    Remember all the movies, Terry, we'd go see?
    Trying to learn how to walk like the heroes – we thought we had to be!
    And after all this time, we find we're just like all the rest:
    Stranded in the park – and – forced – to – con-fess – to
    Hhhiiiddinngg on the Backstreets
    Hhiiiding on the Backstreets
    We swore – forever friends!
    On the Backstreets until the end

     

    I very well may be reading things which simply aren't there into this song, but I find that Terry and the narrator's relationship was supposed to represent difference. That darkness, those backstreets, that feeling of outsideness and outcasting that was bred from their environments is forever a part of them. As he says at the beginning of the song, "Trying in vain to breathe the fire we was born in." It's a difficult bit of gymnastics, incorporating the bad of your life with who you are. As someone with depression, I do it daily. There's a sense of identity. Yet there has to be more. After all, we're talking about a negative. On its own, it leaves a bleak view.

    "Trying to learn how to walk like the heroes we thought we had to be" – something is broken in her betrayal. A sense of heroism. A sense of something more. What it is, I can't rightly concretely articulate. But the result is them having to confess to hiding on the Backstreets. Every time these streets have been evoked, there was the concept of running and hiding on them. But there was no sense of judgment. The scenarios were given as they were, with the bad, good, and ugly consequences frankly spoken. But here is a blatant shame to the hiding that wasn't there before.

    They are stranded in the park – not moving, not going forward. This image of "just another tramp of hearts crying tears of faithlessness" leaves only the realization that they are just like all the rest: going nowhere, nothing special, nothing heroic. Like all the others just struggling to survive, running headlong into the darkness though it may kill them, the narrator and Terry are left only with the fire they are born in – nothing more.

    Born to Run – 5 stars
    The blogger I had mentioned earlier. As he was choosing his last songs, he placed "Born to Run" as the greatest Bruce Springsteen song. While that is so difficult a thing to choose, I remember thinking, "What?!?!" That overplayed, by now cliché song? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful song, definitely huge at its time, and something I love. But it's almost too cheerful and not nearly as lyrically beautiful as some of Bruce's other works. Such opinions seem childish to me now.

    Really, the blogger said it the best, so I'm going to just let him speak for this one. Sometimes we get so used to something, we forget the impact, the gravity of those words:

    "Start with Ernest ‘Boom’ Carter’s opening drum shots, and then marvel at the fact that the guy played on all of one Springsteen recording and it turned out to be ‘Born to Run.’ Then stand back and prepare for that first crash of sound that hits you with reckless impact. Seemingly a thousand instruments coming at you at once, even though the album credits list a mere six players contributing to the track.

    "Now, listen, really listen to that opening riff again. Listen to how it seems to bust down walls, break invisible chains, clear your sinuses, and promise nothing short of infinity. And, hey, keep in mind that Steve Van Zandt, fittingly, made an unsung contribution to the track by altering Springsteen’s initial riff simply because he misheard it. Bruce liked the riff the way Steve heard it better, and that became the riff etched in the annals of rock history. Who knows what might have happened if he hadn’t happened along in the studio that day, but that’s part of Steve’s indefinable genius, isn’t it?

    "OK, now the lyrics begin, and you need to hear how Bruce nails the existence of an entire generation in two electric lines: ‘In the day we sweat it out on the street of a runaway American dream/At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines.’ Do you notice how his description of these folks is peppered with such explosively active phrases? ‘Sprung from cages on Highway 9/Chrome-wheel fuel-injected and stepping out over the line.’ There is so much motion and potency in these words, a dead-on depiction of frustrated youth afraid to stand still because they might never be able to start again.

    "At this point, take into account how Bruce’s narrator has an ulterior motive with all of this fancy talk: He’s trying to convince his girl, Wendy, to join him on an escape from ‘this town,’ which he describes as if it were a living entity, a remorseless Terminator programmed to grind down hope and promise. As David Sancious’ piano swirls all around him, Bruce gets to the point of his argument: ‘We got to get out while we’re young/’Cause tramps like us, baby, we were born to run.’

    "A couple things you need to consider at this point. First of all, what a pinpoint choice of words when he calls himself and those like him ‘tramps.’ He could have said ‘bums like us,’ but ‘tramps’ has just the right tinge of romance clinging to it, more apt to the ebullient music. Next, think about how endlessly profound the phrase ‘Born to Run’ is. Born to run from their problems. Born to run because it’s in their nature, an instinct no different than a shark’s single-minded quest to eat. Born to run because inertia is tantamount to death. Born to run with all of the grace and beauty of a gazelle, and born to run in a desperate, messy gait to escape the hellhounds of the past.

    "As the next verse begins, it’s time for you to hone in on Garry Tallent’s burbling bass underpinning the entire grandiose structure of the song. But try also to notice how Bruce balances a genuinely heartfelt and chaste promise to Wendy with some bawdy talk to appeal to her more prurient side: ‘Wendy, let me in, I want to be your friend, I want to guard your dreams and visions/Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims and strap your hands across my engines.’ But for all of that bravado, this guy quickly reveals himself to be vulnerable: ‘I’m just a scared and lonely rider’ who wants to know ‘if love is real.’ The multi-faceted nature of this character is part of what makes this song so enduring.

    "OK, time for Clarence. Just sit there with your jaw open at his lightning quick solo. Ain’t nobody running anywhere faster than that. But prepare for a change of pace, because now the bridge arrives, and the music has an almost dreamlike quality. All the better to accompany Springsteen’s description of the nightlife. He highlights its allure, from the picturesque scenery to the sounds of the traffic to the boys and girls.[...]

    "You can also appreciate, especially in this period in which we live when irony rules and all genuine gestures are vied suspiciously, the unabashedly romantic nature of the line that ends this section: ‘I want to die with you, Wendy, on the streets tonight in an everlasting kiss.’ With that, the reverie is shattered by a blistering drag race between Bruce on guitar and Clarence on sax, all leading to the drum-rolling, instruments-poised-to-strike crescendo.

    "I can’t begin to calculate the number of times that I’ve listened to ‘Born to Run,’ and, let me tell you, the moments following that crescendo give me chills every time. The main riff returns, this time embellished by all of the Spectorian grandeur surrounding it, and Bruce bursts out in a voice so cathartically desperate it practically cracks with the immortal couplet: ‘Highway’s jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive/Everybody’s out on the run tonight but there’s no place left to hide.’

    "Consider now how those lines may have resonated with their creator, and how that desperation wasn’t a put-on. Springsteen was putting everything into this song, because it might very well have been his last chance. With two mediocre-selling albums in his rear-view that didn’t come close to matching the hype his record company heaped on him, had ‘Born to Run’ flopped, Bruce likely wouldn’t have been given another shot to go this big again. His career was at stake; talk about rising to the occasion.

    "It should all be gravy from here, but rest assured that Bruce isn’t going to mail it in. Because in the final lines, you realize that these two might never get out, grounding this song in a sorrow that runs counterpoint to the lofty optimism. It deepens the entire enterprise when the narrator qualifies his final promise to Wendy with ‘I don’t know when.’ But, then again, as we are reminded three times in increasingly impassioned refrains, ‘Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run.’

    "Now savor every second as the E Street Band, albeit one with a one-off lineup containing Sancious and Carter, brings it all home with gusto as Bruce gives his ‘Whoa-ohs’ every last ounce of energy he has. As the reverb of the final note dissipates, how do you feel? Exhilarated? Heartbroken? Blown away? Inspired? Spent? If you feel all of the above, then you’ve followed my instructions to the letter."

    She's the One – 3 stars
    This one, to me, is like "Night". Sorry to say, hearing about a femme fatale just isn't all that interesting to me. In my usual macabre way, you'd need to really make it twisted to grab my attention (Junichiro Tanizaki's short stories are a fantastic read).

    The lyrics are good, as per usual. But they're short and somewhat sparse and it never leaves the fact that it's just descriptions of this girl. She remains almost a caricature filling out the cliché femme fatale role.

    Musically (I could probably be crucified for this amongst Bruce fans), it doesn't interest me any more than "Night". There are live versions where Bruce attaches an intro titled "Mona" to the song. There, he plays in a loose, almost rambling fashion very similar to the style on The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle. Deadly quiet at time, stretching out, with long wails of almost incoherency at points and a drawl that is pure Bruce, it directly contrasts the very tight and on point arrangement and sound of the entirety of Born to Run. Jacking this 4 and a half minute song up to between 13 and 15 and a half minutes and merging these two very distinct (though classic) sounds of rock 'n' roll, I would have been a thousand times more interested in this musically.

    Again, it's not bad musically. But there isn't enough here in total (just as with "Night") to make me give this more than 3 stars (again, on a Born to Run scale). Even in terms of the album...it's a fun song, but what does this random femme fatale have to do with the concepts and motifs of the album thus far?

    Again, good song, even if not one of the best...but an oddball on the album.

    Meeting Across the River – 5 stars
    So short, it's more like a preface to "Jungleland" – but it's sure as Hell downright perfect, regardless. With a piano backdrop and a trumpet pushing pure, sad jazz (while in the midst of it all, a lone pass is heard strumming), it's a gorgeous track to lay the story of a guy trying to get his friend to give him a ride, so he can make good on a shady deal.

    There really isn't much else to say. If I say more, I reveal the story and that's something that you ought to just experience for yourself. We don't know what'll happen to these guys. Maybe they run afoul. Maybe not. But we wind up understanding and sympathizing with the trap they're encased in, hoping they succeed.

    Jungleland – 5 stars
    Alright – this – this is one of the best song ever made. And I don't mean it ranks in there, maybe with some songs better than it. No, no – I mean that this is what to aim for in a song. It ranks at the very top. Maybe there are others which tie with it. But that's it, they just tie. And for someone as indecisive as me, who would never dare to rank something solely the best because I couldn't say if something else is better (notice how I still admit others could tie) – that's saying something.

    Let's start with that undeniable beginning. Two notes from the violin and then the piano. Gracefully, the violin weaves beautiful musical strokes as the piano dances around it. Considering the subject matter, there are plenty of other instruments which might have been used. Yet that captures "Jungleland" so perfectly – look beyond the literal to what it means. It's newfound and dreams, the waking and birth of something just budding, just beginning.

    Then the lyrics enter:

     

    The rangers had a homecoming
         in Harlem late last night
    And the Magic Rat drove his sleek machine
         over the Jersey state line
    Barefoot girl sitting on the hood of a Dodge
         drinking warm beer in the soft summer rain
    The Rat pulls into town, rolls up his pants
    Together they take a stab at romance and disappear down Flamingo Lane

     

    The heroes have already been determined within the first lines. As the police have some sort of great bust in Harlem, the Magic Rat escapes and slides into New Jersey, completely decked in style. Stuck in a world of entrapment, he finds escape, independence, and self-sufficiency within crime. this is important, integral to the understanding of these characters.

    After the Magic Rat's been introduced, now so is the barefoot girl. She is possibility. That very line is everything as it should be: "Barefoot girl sitting on the hood of a Dodge drinking warm beer in the soft summer rain." Sure, it's male-centric and, really, semi-superficial. But it's that instinctual picture of desire and beauty – just a girl, barefoot, sitting on a car drinking a warm beer, something so natural and not dressed up and yet capable of moving you so slightly.

    Together, they take a chance, go out on that limb, and just see what the Hell might happen. Flamingo Lane is more than just a street – it's life and they're intent on living it.

     

    Well, the maximum lawman run down Flamingo
         chasing the Rat and the barefoot girl
    And the kids round here look just like shadows
         always quiet, holding hands
    From the churches to the jails
         tonight all is silence in the world
    As we take our stand
         down
            in
               Jungleland

     

    As the two enter Flamingo, we enter their world. It starts with the persecution, going to the support in the face of such odds, to then their representation. And yet, in their own way, they are taking their stand. Forced to forever hide in the backstreets, and run like the tramps they're made to be, in their own way, they present their own form of resistance. While it's never concretely stated the way they resist, it's notable that right at the moment "From the churches to the jails tonight all is silence in the world" is sung, the organ strikes up to join the piano. By the time "down...in...Jungleland" is finished, the music has turned into a roar with the guitar joining the fray.

     

    Well, the midnight gangs assembled
         and picked a rendezvous for the night
    They'll meet `neath that giant Exxon sign
         that brings this fair city light
    Man, there's an opera out on the turnpike
         There's a ballet being fought out in the alley
    Until the local cops, cherry top,
         rips this holy night
    The street's alive as secret debts are paid
         contacts made, they vanished unseen
    Kids flash guitars just like switch-blades
         hustling for the record machine
    The hungry and the hunted
         explode into rock 'n' roll bands
    That face off against each other out in the street
         down
            in
               Jungleland

     

    The description continues and the connection between art and their life is more firmly established. The city becomes alive as the mundane and violent are turned into operas and ballets. The battles out on the streets are then matched to the battles of the bands, wielding their instruments like weapons. This is fittingly finished with a guitar solo, speeding up, building even further until bubbling over into:

     

    In the parking lot the visionaries dress in the latest rage
    Inside the backstreet, girls are dancing to the records that the DJ plays
    Lonely-hearted lovers struggle in dark corners,
         desperate as the night moves on
    In just one look and whisper...they're gone

     

    And with that, everything dissipates with a long blast from Clarence Clemons's Sax. In a solo that so entirely captures the night, in a way that tinges on a cliché jazz melody that undeniably reminds you of a city night to an original, whole melody that so perfectly grasps the wasted emotions of desperation and a look for solace that it surprises you that this song can once again do something so damn right.

    As that goodness ends and the violin and piano creep to the forefront, the violin too fades so that we just have that lone piano. In slow, steady and blunt notes, it jarringly contrasts to the uproarious and defiant sound previously in the song. Riding with the piano notes, Bruce begins:

     

    Beneath...the city...two hearts beat
    So-ul engines running through a night so tender
    In a bedroom, locked,
         in whispers of soft
         refusal...and then
         ...surrender
    In the tunnels uptown...the Rat's own dream guns him down
    Shots echo down them hallways in the night
    No one watches an ambulance pulls away
         or as the girl shuts out the bedroom light...

    Outside the street's on fire in a real death waltz!
         between what's flesh and what's fantasy
    And the poets down here don't write nothin' at all
         they just stand back – and let it all be

    And in the quick of a knife!
         they reach for their moment and try to make an honest stand...
    But they wind up wounded...not even dead...
    Tonight
       in
          Jun-
             gle-
                land!

    And with that Bruce erupts with a wild cry, the articulation and voice of every character that just tried to get by, to live, to make something of that world they were born in; we hear "Go-Cart Mozart’s insane ramblings, the Ragamuffin Gunner’s jaded fatalism, Crazy Janey’s healing sweet nothings, Zero and Blind Terry’s ghostly laughter, Madame Marie’s foreboding warnings, Spanish Johnny’s tragically romantic serenade to Puerto Rican Jane."

    By the end of that, words cannot describe the experience, the perfect articulation of life itself. It doesn't matter you never knew these people. Humanity has been shown to you and you mourn their suffering, understand their joy, respect their defiance. Drained and left naked, you're rendered breathless. Every time, that's what I'm left as.

  • Yesterday/today have been shockingly amazing.

    Unfortunately, someone after a party had written Fag on one of the Freshmen dorms. Well, several school officials have sent out school-wide E-mails admonishing this and talking about how to improve things. One of my teachers made it the focus of discussion for our class. And College Council is holding a meeting specifically in light of this.

    A bunch of the Queer students decided that we wanted some changes, and we were going to ask the administration to make them happen. One, a full-time Queer Life Coordinator, which only makes sense (particularly in light of this instance). Also, Queer Studies as a separate study instead of just Women and Gender Studies with classes that happen to touch on concepts of sexuality and that can confer a major. Transforming the house where Queer Student Union meetings take place into a Gender and Sexuality Resource Center, entailing its own library (literary and media) and an archive of the history of anything gender and sexuality related that's happened on campus. Further training for Junior Advisers and Baxter Fellows (read resident adviser, in a sense) on issues of sexuality and gender identity. Finally, gender neutral housing that would allow opposite sex roommates, plus probably greater sensitivity to the needs of Trans students as far as housing goes.

    We'll present our wanted-changes at the College Council meeting. If there is no response or appropriate effort from the administration by Sunday, we'll stage a sit-in and make noise until actual change (these same issues have been coming up since 1970; we're tired of waiting) that can help this campus in effective and constant ways is established.

    I also happened to see the Lady Gaga video for Bad Romance today, which was surprising more mature and insightful than I ever expected from Lady Gaga (granted, seeing as I've only heard her stuff on a very surface-like level, I am totally up for being proven that my original opinions were wrong and judgemental).

    Lastly, I talked to my professor about my paper due, got a topic and paper figured out with her, and had a good discussion about The Great Gatsby. It's amazing what they don't teach you about it in high school. It's far more complex than I ever imagined, and I like it all the more for it. It's jumped significantly higher on my list of favorite books, and I can't wait to write my final paper for the class on it.

     

    I just feel so incredibly stimulated today, it's fantastic. I sat down with one of my readings of theory for class and couldn't wait to dive into it and wrestle with the ideas, instead of being bored with it. It's mindblowing, really; such good days, I really hope for more.

  •      "A-ha, yeah...we're not going to talk about where that stain came from."
         He shot me a look of amusement. "Forget I even asked," he muttered out of a crack of a smile.
         I shrugged and lay back on the couch, my feet dangling over the arm and my head on one of the seat cushions. "It's dirty as all fuck, but what would I do without it?"
         Jim didn't answer and just swirled his drink around. He wasn't all too concerned. But then, why would he be? It was my couch regardless.
         I glanced toward the T. V. and quickly glanced away. Bears were losing by 14 points; fantastic. I attempted the classic too-lazy-to-get-up-so-lean-head-as-far-as-possible-to-look-behind-you-upsidedown move (luckily, it's less difficult to perform than to say). Katherine was talking to Tyler by the sliding glass door to the balcony. They had kept the door halfway open, allowing a breeze to waft through easily enough. The light from the stars struck the glass, smearing brilliantly downward.
         Jim gave me a disgusted look, picking at something brown and hard that clung to the fabric. I laughed, despite myself; he quickly withdrew his hands. I waved my own, saying, "No, no - nothing to worry about. It's just a rather old fruit rollup." His look of disgust intensified.
         "It's brown. What'd you do? Wait, lemme guess - you took a perfectly good fruit rollup, smushed it into your couch, and then shat on it. Maybe you took the time to mix all of it together well and evenly."
         I patted my couch nostalgically; "Only the best for my baby." Jim just shook his head, then jumped at the sound of a crash. He was actually always jumpy.
         "Christine?" I asked. He nodded. I sighed.
         I had wanted to paint the walls green, when I had first bought the place. It wasn't like it was a color I liked now, in any case. The walls were a wretched yellow, the color of baby vomit and shattered teenage childhoods.
         Not that the green we were going to use was much better of a color, but that was precisely the point.
         I met Katherine through Christine the day I was moving in. I had needed help and amusement, so I called Christine up. She had a friend over, so I ended up meeting Katherine because she had to tag along. Not that I minded. There was something about Katherine, when I met her right away, that made you pause. She was more withdrawn at first glance.
         "Did you decide to piss all over the place?" Christine asked the second she entered the room.
         "Oh, so you noticed. I was worried it would be too subtle."
         She laughed. "Please tell me the landlord isn't going to make you keep it like this? It's horrid."
         "Oh, I most certainly agree," I told her, falling back against a wall to keep myself up in my laughter.
         Katherine walked around the room, surveying the room and its walls. As she passed by the glass door, she was assaulted by the sun gushing through. Comically, she batted at it like it was a swarm of flies, backing away in a spastic fashion. We all laughed, a semi-embarrassed smirk coming from her own face.
         "You should paint it green," she told me, her face lightly animated.
         "Like a pretty jade?" I asked her. I was patronizing; I can admit that now. She shook her head.
         "Vomit green." I gave her a look of confusion. She simply smiled. "It's not as bad as piss vomit; and you can't really expect things to be ideal. You can only get a little better."
         I had liked the idea, but the landlord refused to let me alter the place. So I was still with baby vomit and smog plastered to my walls.
         "Fuck!" Jim snorted, jolting back.
         "Hey, I never told you to go sniffing my couch," I told him, catching the iPod change to Can I Live. The soft jazz of the beginning wound itself around the sharp contours of the room, trying to mask the desperateness of its question.
         I glanced Katherine shooting daggers from her eyes at Christine. "College is a big moment, they say," I muttered to Jim. He shrugged.
         "I suppose I keep this old thing," I slurred to him slowly, though he already knew despite the difficulty he gave me, "because it's been with me since as long as I can remember. I mean, sure, there's some...well, interesting things it's been through." I rubbed my finger over some plastic that had clutched to the threads from an art project I had worked on. "But that's going to happen. I'm not going to throw some dumb plastic cover over it or try to clean it up. I can't ignore or avoid it. It wouldn't be the same." Jim smirked at my sentimentality. "I'm not throwing this fucker out."

  • Race, Sex, Sexual Orientation - An Intelligent Assessment of Controversy

    m204757259

     

     

    This is NOT the past.

     

    We, in America, do not teach about marginalized groups in an appropriate way.

    The general conception is we've to treat everyone equally and fairly and everything is solved. Everyone gets along happily and everything is fixed.

    As idealistic as this mindset is, it is not adequate to truly understand marginalization.

    The first issue we run up against is the way that racism is thought of. I read once somewhere that a man visited high schools and found that black and white students consistently talked past each other on terms of race. The white students see racism as discriminatory actions towards others while the black students see racism often as institutional.

    And there is our first problem. I'll give you a hint: it's not that the students see racism in different terms.

    The man observing these students makes the claim that the black students see racism one way and the white students another. Ignoring that this binary excludes every other possible race, it makes the mistake of claiming that a certain way of thinking belongs to each race. Not only is this statement momentary and will likely change as time passes (not to mention it is a generalization), it doesn't get at why this is the current way these two races view racism.

    Frantz Fanon put out the fantastic argument that systems create racism. Trying to fight racism as actions and opinions is futile because these opinions and views of people will continually be created by the systems in society. Destroy the systems, destroy racism. While I don't entirely agree with this paraphrased version of Fanon, it gets at a point. For example:

    Some of the school systems in Chicago are based on (either) a tax system or where the student is living, with each place having a different level of taxes needing to be payed (I can't entirely remember). However, the other drawback is that the schools that receive students from low-tax areas are also poorer in quality. That means the ability to move up in society is greatly reduced. Combination of lower education and poverty (and all the frustration that goes with poverty)? Higher criminal rate and antisocial and -cultural habits within the people. And, as you might've guessed, the majority of people located in these areas are minorities.
    This system creates people who act out a role which allows the solidification of racism.

    And think about it - don't the stereotypes about blacks include poverty, living in a ghetto, being uneducated, and acting unruly? It's important to remember that this system originated in our nation's racist housing situation starting in the 50s (I won't take the time to explain that one here; I'll just take it on faith that your education in life has covered that part of history).

    Of course, you could object - that's not a racist institution. It's discriminatory, sure, but along class lines, not race. It was started by racist intentions, sure - but it's motivated by a monetary situation now. Switch out the blacks for any other race or put a mix of races there and you get the same situation. And, for the most part, I would agree. I actually do take the mainstream opinion that race is based upon the actions people take and views people hold. Racist institutions and groups can be formed, but whether that depends upon the group trying to promote racist ends (KKK) or it only requires a system to be founded with originally racist intentions in mind (the previous Chicago example) is not an important debate.

    Fine, don't fight it on arguments of racism. It's still a poor system that needs to be reformed. However, we must understand all of this I've just explained to understand why certain racial groups may argue about racism and the changes necessary to combat it in the way that they do.

    Which brings us nicely to Affirmative Action. I right now admit I don't believe I know enough about AA to speak wholly intelligently on it. I already know there are different forms of Affirmative Action; and it doesn't work quite like it is generally portrayed in the mainstream (you're black? Get a full ride for college!). Actually, GodlessLiberal did a well done post on AA quite a while back (if you happen to meander over, check out how the guy's been doing; he's been fading in and out of Xanga for a bit now). To summarize, he argued that AA should be based upon class rather than race (again, I stress, I do not fully understand the ways AA works. I'm assuming that GodlessLiberal's descriptions of it are correct. His serves as a good example, regardless, because of the lesson in perspective learned from it). I agree with his argument. This makes sense. However, if AA is based on race in implementation, we have to see why.

    Arguing against a staunch black AA defender that AA is an unfair system will not win the person over. As far as they're concerned, you're simply arguing for further suffering in a system that specifically picks out blacks economically. AA should reverse the inherent racism of the system that holds most blacks back. However, as we've already discussed (at least in this specific example of economic injustice situated in Chicago), the system is not racially motivated (though, even in millions of years, with no change to the system, it's unlikely any large amount of blacks will break from this system in a way that will reduce the number of blacks caught in the system. The most likely difference would be to add and trap other races in this system). The argument really should be that the system is abolished, thereby allowing equal economic opportunities, regardless of race.

    All that I've just said? That's the amount of unsaid material that happens in our current discussions on race. Now, I'm not entirely sure what types of systems may exist out there for other marginalized groups and how they may work off the top of my head. Since discussions of race and racism are so large and plentiful in our country, however, it's the easiest example. But this is only one side of the coin (if you've made it this far, I'm impressed; we need more people like you who are willing to adapt their mindsets).

    Two topics related to each other, this side of the coin is split in half. The first half is representation.

    Often, marginal groups will bring up issues that the majority of the country rolls their eyes at and don't understand the fuss over it. The perspective of the marginal group is lacking. You cannot just apply a veil over everyone and expect to treat and see them all the same. As much as I'd like that (and I do agree with the mainstream again and believe that is the goal), reality keeps us from doing so.

    The history of marginalized groups is important and must be taught - because it does inform the present. It explains why things are the way they are (think of the Chicago example above).

    Last week, there was an article on the front page that questioned whether Miley's possible use of the word Gay as an insult is offensive or not. Hell, why is it even important? Same question we've heard many times before. And it's here that the picture above draws relevance as well: defamation, ignominy, contempt.

    There's a reason why when an artform first created and performed by a marginalized group is taken in and performed by the mainstream and majority, some get angry. The artform was born out of struggle and persecution. Its history is often erased. The representation of your suffering is gone.

    "That's so gay!"

    Around the world, millions of 15-year-old boys and girls will be told they don't exist. And one of the few non-offensive words (faggot, lesbo, pederast, etc.) that they have to define themselves has been reduced to a mere petty insult. When you spend most of your life growing up being told that you're a fad or a phase and that you really can't be gay, this trivialization is more than just a changing of the meaning of a word and insulting to the very personage.

    I AM A MAN; I exist: do not deny me.

    The other half of this side of the coin is how we view marginal groups. I'll use myself as an example.

    I was raised in the suburbs. As a result, most of my tastes, interests, and what I think was formed by what is generally mainstream society. I consider myself a goth, identifying with the sub-culture. I love rap, writing some of my own as well. Reasonable Doubt by Jay-Z is, to me, one of the best albums ever. I was pretty much raised on Bruce Springsteen. Around high school I discovered Black Sabbath - and fell in love. Most of Freshman to Junior year, actually was stuck somewhere between Atreyu, Slipknot, and Cradle of Filth.I consider myself a nerd, loving video games and the such. My ethnicity is German, Haitian, Spanish, Polish, French, English, Scottish, and American. I grew up eating almost always Haitian food. I was raised Catholic and still piously practice Catholicism.

    I don't think I need to be the one to tell you that you could racialize pretty much every single one of those descriptions. But, in that context, some of them seem to contradict each other.

    The mainstream (and when I say that this time, I mean the intelligent faction that doesn't make generalized statements about particular races (I'm sure you could think of plenty race jokes for examples)), for the most part, holds the view that race is not attached to culture. As just seen, I'm a decent example of the types of cultural influence that may affect a person.

    I actually don't even have a racial identity. I don't see myself in terms of race. Sure, I'm aware that I'm a mixed child. I'm aware that most view me as "black" and that sometimes I'm confused for being mostly Hispanic (or other nationalities). But I don't see race in terms of culture. That makes no sense to me. I recognize my heritage (as listed above) and the cultures associated with each respective culture, and I identify as American and with the American culture. Again, I don't have a racial identity. I would actually argue that race is a socially constructed mechanism for labeling others.

    Alright then, why the Black Panthers? Why Afro-centric movements? Why a Latino culture? I remember finding a personal opinion someone had put into Wikipedia under the Harlem Renaissance that both offended me and put the answer quite clearly. Towards the end of the entry on the Harlem Renaissance it's explaining the goals of the movement, particularly in terms of the New Negro and trying to create a unique black culture that would legitimize blacks on the same level as whites of that era. The person who wrote the entry finishes it off with, "But the positive implications of American nativity have never been fully appreciated by them. It seems too simple: the African-American's history and culture is American, more completely so than most other ethnic groups within the United States."

    Because the positive implications of American nativity was blatantly clear (or not at all possibly offensive at the time) in contrast to slavery, Jim Crow South, and continual prejudice on many levels from other Americans.

    Why might the writer of that quoted statement not understand a refusal of the mainstream culture by blacks?

    I believe cultures evolve out of an isolation of specific people (whether voluntary or involuntary) and the creation of rituals, ideals, etc. out of that isolation. America has isolated blacks for years. That is why there is such a thing as a Black Culture.

    For those who want that race-blind view, that is problematic. I remember my mother bringing home an Ebony magazine one time. I tried reading the first few pages and stopped. It was too weird. As I said before, I have no racial identity. Having something have meaning out of the concept of being a person of color, as a form of identity, is just weird to me. I wouldn't fit too well into all of current black culture.

    But why do these cultures exist? Why might what is considered specific attributes to "blackness" be extolled?

    In the case of our example of blacks in America, because of previous prejudice. There would be no Black Panthers if not for prejudice.

    And (this is important to understand for those who honestly do believe in a color-blind view of humanity) we cannot simply expect blacks in America to join back into the mainstream culture. For one, they have probably been raised in a different culture most of their lives. Further, racism still exists in America (as we all well know) or, at least, institutions which continue the creation of racism do. These alternate cultures built along the lines of race came into existance due to something. Finally, harking back to the concept of representation - often the mainstream portrays blacks poorly on a consistent basis or doesn't portray them at all (and, yes, that is direly important).

    Now, I'm of one of the mainstream opinions. I believe in treating people in a color blind fashion. I believe in associating the culture of a person not with what "race" they are but simply by which culture the person says they identify with (the notion of someone of Korean ethnicity partaking entirely in Irish culture isn't as impossible as some would have us believe, especially if the person was adopted by Irish parents when they were just a baby).

    However - this is not realistic in terms of our world. Many people don't see themselves simply as people and identify heavily and strongly with concepts of "race" - for a multitude of reasons which we would do well to know. And while I would argue that the eventual goal is to see marginalized people as simply people rather than in terms of what caused them to marginalized (for example, think of how we see brunettes as people despite a characteristic which does set them apart from others), the history of the marginalized group and what it means is direly important in terms of giving the proper respect to a marginalized group - and understanding that group. In trying to view the world entirely as the same, it often erases the past of marginalized groups and that past does inform the future. A "insert group here"-blind viewing means that equal representation isn't necessary - and in this world, right now, that often means a mainstream dominated by the majority with mindsets thinking that is how the world is. And for many who probably aren't racist, sexist, sexualist, etc. they will still subconsciously think of their world in terms of the majority. I'll save you further examples; I'm sure you can think of others on your own.

    I've said twice on here before that race relations in this country were heading toward a complete train crash. I take that back now. We are so talking past each other on issues of race that we couldn't possibly hit, even if we wanted to. Everyone has these different concepts of marginalized groups, for a variety of reasons, and they only understand their own beliefs. Only once we get on the same footing of understanding can we move forward (though quite difficultly) in addressing these issues.

     

     

    ***note: you'll notice that most of this addresses race (and only in terms of black and white) and touches on sexuality while biological sex (and any other groups) isn't addressed at all. The largest reason for the large focus on race is because of the great attention it has received in our country and, therefore, the familiarity of knowledge with it by most Americans.

    This post also makes some pretty generalizing statements and those statements must be understood fluidly for marginalized groups to be fully understood (for nothing stays stagnate). For example, gays and women have less of any type of culture outside the mainstream because they have had less isolation from the majority than those of different races. Another example is that if the concept of looking at everyone as being equal and the same does eventually someday come to fruitation, these concepts will likely become obsolete or must be thought of differently. That day is far, far, far, far off - but we cannot allow our thinking and understanding of concepts to become mired.

    Also, the title is an allusion to this Xanga post: http://www.mancouch.com/716194723/race-sex-sexual-orientation-and-abortion/

  • I want to dance, at some point in the future, with someone to Frankie by Bruce Springsteen (a live version can be found as the 7ᵗʰ song on the music player at the bottom of the page; not as smooth as the first version, but it'll do).

    Don't need anyone else around, or can just be in one of each others rooms, for all I care. I want to just goof off with them, slowly sway with them, pull them close just to whisper into their ear

    Walk softly tonight, little stranger…
    Into the shadows where lovers go
    Talk softly to me…little angel
    Whisper your
    secrets…so soft and low
    Walk softly tonight, little stranger
    Into the shadows where the lovers go
    Talk softly to me, little angel
    Whisper your secrets so soft and low…
    Talk softly tonight, little angel…
    Here in the shadows where…lovers go
    Talk softly to me, little stranger
    Whisper your secrets, baby, soft and low
    Talk softly to me…
    Talk softly to me…
    Talk softly to me…
    Talk softly to me…

    until the voice goes hoarse or the words just fade away. I just want that moment.

     

     

    Dark weekends in the sun, out on Chelsea Row
    Descending the stairs, ah, Frankie my love[…]
    We'll dance round this dirty town
    'Til the night is all done

    Let all the finer things sleep alone tonight
    Let all the minor kings – lose – their – thrones – tonight

    Don't worry about me baby, I'll be alright…
    -Bruce Springsteen

  • You do the dryin'
    I'll do the dishes
    Who'll do the cryin'
    When all them wishes don't come true…?

    You do the washin'
    I'll do the foldin'
    Whose heart is breaking
    When whose arms are holding someone new,
         sittin' on a peaceful lakeside?
    Didn't hear the roar of the waterfall come in

    When it's all a sorry mixed story
    When it's all so easy and nice –

    Here comes trouble in paradise

     

    You did the dustin'
    I did the sweepin'
    You did the drivin'
    Oh, and I did the sleepin' a little too long
         on a picnic made for skies so blue
    We didn't see the rain and heartache coming through

    When it's all an old black and white movie
    And you're sure you've seen the endin' twice –

    Here comes trouble in paradise

     

    You said everything was fine
    I'm sorry, baby, I didn't see the signs!
    Oh, so beautifully you read your lines…
    In a play where the hero has no vice
    And Love comes without a price…

    So does trouble in paradise

     

    Don't matter who did the dustin'
    Who did the sweepin'…
    Who did the trustin'
    Or who did the cheatin' when it's all gone
         layin' in a field on a summer's day
    Waitin' for those gray skies to clear away

    Nor when all love's glory and beauty
    Can vanish before you think twice

    Even trouble in paradise

     

    Now we share the laughin'
    We share the jokin'…
    Oh, we do the sleepin'
    Mmhmm, with one eye open…
    -Bruce Springsteen