I suppose I'm doing this largely to make up for my shameless advertising of my last two posts for credits (I figure I ought to try premium out at least once; I can't imagine it has much I'd actually miss, though). So, one of my favorite topics to talk about - depression.

If you didn't know, you now will know I have clinical depression. While never diagnosed by a doctor, you can only become down so many times before you question whether your failed attempts at trying may be failing for a reason. Chemically based, by my judgement.

Now, everyone has their opinions of it. Not everyone has the same type. The thing that has always scared me was knowing someone out there has it worse than me. I hope they, at least, have the sense to see a doctor about it.

Now, understand, I've kinda assumed I always was, to some extent, influenced by this. Even if it wasn't there at a young age, I drew a pleasure at the sad things in life, melancholy. This is crucial. Probably largely due to the depression, I have a deep love for the perverse and (to be utterly generic) depressing.

This being said, I can't say I've always loved depression wholeheartedly. It's had it's terrifying moments. Thus far (though I believe I've moved past this entirely by now) I've had 4 major "dips", starting at Freshman year and ending either during Junior year or the end of Sophomore year (what I've confusedly - and before I had a full understanding of what I was going through - referred to as Depressions).

My first Depression was mostly just a new experience. Lots of crying, lethargic, not wanting to do anything. I don't remember it as being that bad, for whatever reason. Bad, sure, and bordering on not functional. Yet a bit of crying and laziness isn't all that bad a thing to endure, particularly for a short period of time.

They kinda just got worse as they went along until the climax, my fourth one. I almost forgot just how bad that one was. Picture this: den of the house, doors are closed, parents are doing whatever and sure son is working on homework, son is in the corner - homework is on the desk - and trying to sob uncontrollably but only able to break into short bursts of tears before falling into the habit of regaining control. You don't even want to know what that's mentally like. Cliché? Sure, but it was true. I mean, the mental ability just goes to Hell and you're so badly exuding the feeling of misery that you can't even manage thinking of how to do simple tasks. In retrospect, this screams "bad, nonfunctional situation" but what's one to do when they don't know better (or can't really tell a financially struggling family that has no empathy bone in their body)? And it's definitely one of the few times I was scared for my life because I actually didn't know if I would actually commit suicide or not (as apposed to just constantly thinking about and wanting death, though knowing you'd never do it).

All that being said - I have to confess, I love aspects of depression.

The morbidity it provides is riveting. I mean, there's just something fucking beautiful about searing sarcasm, the dark, the twisted (which can lend to the idea of insanity - Dark Knight, anyone (there's a reason I love Batman)?), and, most of all, something movingly emotional in the breaking or hurt of a person. We're most stunning when we're fragile - which, of course, is ironic. Because we like confidence, certainly. Yet there's something moving in our open rareness. Seen The Wrestler? His very being is moving in his emotion. There's something stunning by so big a figure and clearly hardened one that just cries. I admit, this was the largest reason I went to see the movie (plus my boyfriend at the time was paying...).

While I have a deep love for nature, I can't forget the city. I love infrastructure, though the combination of the two is utter heaven. And yet, just the city alone is enticing. The steel, the bareness, almost, of it. The dark, the cramped place, the feeling of being closed in.

(okay, not technically city, but the idea of manmade structures)

And yet, that picture brings us exactly to the point. It's not all I'm looking at.

Particularly for a picture such as this one, I can't help but get excited - but in the sense of this is the beginning of a novel. This is the setting - now what?

So, the logical ending is happy, right? If this isn't the desire, but only the start - the end must be happy. And, in the question of life, I don't think anyone doesn't want a happy ending. But...I don't want to let go of the sad. In the right doses and the right parts - I like the sad.

My planned out book deals entirely with depression, actually. Its very layout mirrors the mind set of the (at least myself) depressed. It's something that permeates your entire being, really. It becomes an identity for you, to an extent.

But this identity slowly kills you everyday, makes you a pessimist, and (often) makes you quite suicidal. I've always been fond of saying, if not for the whole suicidal part and never being able to ever get rid of it, I'd make sure everyone goes through depression once because it opens your eyes to so much and creates an appreciation you won't find in many other places. Needless to say - this isn't healthy.

So Emo, but it makes the truth of it all that more alarming. And I think that's the balance we're always trying to find - how do I enjoy living with what I have?

My argument would be finding things which make you happy. Maybe it's just my depression leveling out to being controllable but I just see it as needing something to equal out the depression. Of course, that brings the question that if you had something for that long, would you just get bored of it and want to move on. I always used to (still do, from time to time) wonder if I could actually be happy with anything - and not get tired of it, wear it out, and just stay satisfied.

Well, guess I have to. What other option? Well, there is one, but I closed the idea long ago. It seems we see the world. ...or, because I think 60% of people have it, that's why we see the world. But even still, for all its construction and all else, I'm enraptured.

I just found total fucking win: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nlaJ4zPbSI

Incredible. Not just a quant song, the thing's bursting with talent. I remember someone once mentioned a rapper who worked around a speech impediment; I could be wrong, but I think that's what MC Chris does. Which, of course, is incredible. His flow is impecable for his speed and (supposed) speech impediment. And the rhyme is utterly crazy. Plus the constant nerd references hit oh so close to home. I mean, when't the next time you're going to hear in a rap someone comparing destroying stuff to River on Serenity? Ohhh, this is why I refuse to give up on this genre.

Well, I've dived back into xkcd comics. Never heard of them (xkcd.com)?

I must thank Katie Holbrook sometime entirely for showing me this splendid internet strip.

I remember reading an article about Bill Waters (author of Calvin and Hobbs) and they had noted how some critics picked up on the fact that Waters can actually draw. Technically, so can this guy, but you have to admire his unneed to.

The catch phrase of the website is A Webcomic of Romance, Sarcasm, Math, and Language. This is so true. One thing I really like about the site is that it totally plays to intellectuals and geeks.

A lot.

I, personally, am in total love with that last one. The comic also tends to focus on some stuff which, I think, our generation relates to far more.

I have to say, I do love the artistic variation on a familiar theme in the above one. But one of the best things about this comic is that it can go from an odd hybrid of intellectual and inane humor (that only it could pull off),

to a seriousness that seems almost out of place. As the catch phrase says, romance is in the equation. And plenty of it. All too often, the drawer offers (in a idealistic, hopeful fashion) love as the only solutions to our problems sometimes. In one comic, as two men start to ponder questions and their speech spills out, filling the page, the strip collapses upon itself, all sense of boxes and coherance lost in a mess of words and lines. Then, out of it emerges half-boxes with two people in them. They hold hands and walk off, amid the reckage on the page. At times the strip does nothing more than point out subtle IFs and MAYBEs and, in an almost surreal way, demonstrates itself as incredibly poignant.


The caption on the site was, "This one makes me wince everytime I think about it." Other times, it infuses its humor with the notes on romance.

Some happen to be straight serious.

It's odd because the picture shows nothing we haven't been told before. The artwork is drawn in stick figures. Yet I find the faceless characters to stand for something and the scene no less gripping than it needs to be. I dunno, it strikes home for me.

Otherwise, though, xkcd is just plain fun:

So many awesome references for an Epic Win.

That one will be my favorite forever.

 

Anyway, that was incredibly long and large, but I felt it needed to be said. If you read all of the strips, congrats. I think it's a good comic with a lot of subtle art.

 

On a completely unrelated note, check this out: http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.matthewgood.org%2F2009%2F04%2Fand-then-beauty-showed-up%2F&h=b8c38379fb5dcf691c924d5637043670. Kaz showed it to me. It speaks for itself. Watch the vid in the link!

Well, here we go, finally: Disney movies.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) - Hmm, what to say. Wasn't too bad, though the story doesn't all too much interest me. True, the message to little girls that "someday my prince will come" and you should be taken care of by a bunch of short old men isn't the best, but the dwarves are more than amusing, this is the movie that started them all, and the blatant screaming underlining sexual innuendo gives this movie major props.

Pinocchio (1940) - Ahh, Pinocchio. It's almost scary how utterly amusing the first minute or so of the movie is, then it becomes drastically dull. I have to re-watch it, though. Don't remember much past the beginning.

Fantasia (1940) - Not too bad. I thoroughly enjoyed the sequel far more, though. However, you have to love the Mickey sequence. Epic.

Dumbo (1941) - Who cannot love Dumbo? To make up for spending so much on Fantasia, it's a short movie will little budget - and 20 times better than Fantasia. While still amusing on a comic level, it skillfully communicates emotion in subtle ways throughout the film. Despite the slightly racist portrayals, "When I See an Elephant Fly" is reason enough to buy this movie. I'm buying this one day.

Bambi (1942) - Yeah...not feeling it. I should re-watch it, because I don't properly remember it though, I'll admit. However, major props for a kid movie with a scene that gives them nightmares for years to come. Bambi's mom dying? Scariest shit for several years of my life.

Saludos Amigos (1942)
The Three Cabelleros (1945)

Song of the South (1946) - In part because "Zip-a-De-Doo-Da" is one of my favorite songs and because it had to not be released to American audiences due to slightly implied racism, I really want to see this movie. Probably won't ever get to, though.

Fun and Fancy Free (1947)
Melody Time (1948)

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949) - Ohh, you've got to fall for anything Wind In the Willows related (amazing book!). And they did a halfway decent job of adapting it, too. Ichabod...I'm not so thrilled about. But I must re-watch just for Mr. Toad (that vain and pretentious amphibian has a special place in my heart).

Treasure Island (1950)

Cinderella (1950) - Again, it kinda gets props just by being a classic movie. She's more independent than Snow White and the movie is a ton more entertaining by not just the mice but the animals and the step-sisters as well.

Alice In Wonderland (1951) - Not too bad. Strays from the book, but it could've been worse.

The Story of Robin Hood (1952)

Peter Pan (1953) - Again, a classic (in the sense it's old and one that Disney is most known for it) movie which just does not hold my attention. I don't think I could watch this more than once. It slightly irks me that they altered it from the original but Disney's become notorious for that one by now....

The Sword and the Rose (1953) - No clue...

Rob Roy, the Highland Rogue (1954)

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954) - This movie actually has a very catchy song called "A Whale of a Tale". I've never actually seen it, though. I have a feeling it's a live-action one that'll be amusing, in part because it's old and totally out-dated.

The Littlest Outlaw (1955)

Lady and the Tramp (1955) - I must re-watch this one, but - if my memory serves me right - it's good. Part of the great joy of it is being able to recognize now the humorous adult dynamic of a promiscuous male indoctoring a girl of high society. You just can't pick up that kind of shit when you're a kid. Those were the really good Disney movies - even when you're older it has a totally different level that makes it still good as more than a kid's movie. The song "He's a Tramp" perfectly highlights the total appeal of this movie.

Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier (1955)
The Great Locomotive Chase (1956)
Davy Crockett and the River Pirates (1956)
Westward Ho, the Wagons (1956)
Johnny Tremain (1957)
Old Yeller (1957)
The Light in the Forest (1958)
White Wilderness (1958)

Tonka (1958) - I don't even want to know....

Darby O'Gill and the Little People (1959)

The Shaggy Dog (1959) - I don't know about the original but the remake was God-awful.

Third Man on the Mountain (1959)

Sleeping Beauty (1959) - This one is a "classic" which I detest. It's so boring. Honestly, the song they're most known for? "Once Upon a Dream"? Same dreary line over and over again. The only possible thing to redeem it is the jester drinking himself silly and the fairies, for a spell (pun unintended).

Pollyanna (1960)
Toby Tyler (1960)
Kidnapped (1960)

The Sign of Zorro (1960) - The old Zorro episodes were amusing back when the Disney Channel used to air their old crap late at night. But all good things come to an end, it seems...dunno if the movie is any good.

Ten Who Dared (1960)
Jungle Cat (1960)
Swiss Family Robinson (1960)

The Parent Trap (1961) - The remake I greatly enjoyed, actually. There is a really weird song from this on the 5 Vol. CD set of Disney songs. I have a feeling this one would be very...60s....

Babes in Toyland (1961) - Amusing and a creative concept, from what I remember of it.

One Hundred and One Dalmations (1961) - I need to re-watch to refresh my memory but who doesn't love the song "Cruella de Vil"???

The Absent-Minded Professor (1961)
Big Red (1962)
Moon Pilot (1962)
In Search Of The Castaways (1962)
Almost Angels (1962)

Son of Flubber (1963) - Hmm....

Summer Magic (1963) - Again, the slight sexual innuendo probably saves the movie alone (if you have no clue what I'm talking about, stick Teen at the front of the title).

The Incredible Journey (1963)

The Sword In the Stone (1963) - Anyone who knows me knows I'm a fanatic about the Arthurian tales...and that they mimicked specifically the book by T. H. White brings joy to my soul. However...much was altered (of course).... That they took out King Pellinore is almost makes me want to cry, but their interpretation of Merlin was perfect and right on. I need to reread those books...classic literature....

The Three Lives of Thomasina (1964)

Mary Poppins (1964) - Alright, who doesn't love Mary Poppins? When I was a kid it didn't hold my attention. Being older, you can totally appreciate it more. Plus, the songs alone are damn addicting.

The Misadventures of Merlin Jones (1964)

That Darn Cat! (1965) - The remake was ehh. Dunno about the original.

Those Calloways (1965)

The Monkey's Uncle (1965) - This had a creepy song on the CD set. Probably rings of the 60s again.

Follow Me, Boys! (1966)
The Ugly Dachshund (1966)
The Happiest Millionaire (1967)
The Gnome-Mobile (1967)

The Jungle Book (1967) - Again...didn't hold my interest. But I should probably re-watch this one because I don't remember it well, if for that snake alone.

Blackbeard's Ghost (1968)
The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band (1968)
Horse In The Gray Flannel Suit (1968)
The Love Bug (1969)

The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1970) - Don't wanna know....

The Boatniks (1970)

The Aristocats (1970) - Oh, this is a good one. I love the underscore of classism throughout the movie. Plus, "Ev'rybody Wants to Be a Cat" is a great song. And hearing the different accents from the cats is amusing as all Hell. You've just gotta watch it.

Million Dollar Duck (1971) - I hope they're talking about Scrooge, here.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) - This was mildly amusing, from what I saw of it. I would like to try to watch it again.

Snowball Express (1972)
The World's Greatest Athlete (1973)

Robin Hood (1973) - I sadly cannot remember this movie entirely but The Sword and the Stone has forever made me fall just slightly in love with the Robin Hood(/Wood) tale. Besides, you've gotta love Friar Tuck in this movie; as badass as Classic Disney gets.

Superdad (1973) - Wow....

Herbie Rides Again (1974) - Probably better than the remake...it wouldn't be that hard of a feat.

One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing (1975)
The Strongest Man In The World (1975)

Escape to Witch Mountain (1975) - This, surprising, is amusing enough to watch, though it's far from ever being a favorite. Now they're making a remake, recently started airing commercials. Don't they get it? Part of what forgave the really bad acting and rediculous notion that constituted the plot was, in a weird way, that it looked low budget (by today's standards) and clearly was fake. I'm critical, I know.

The Apple Dumpling Gang (1975)
Gus (1976)

Freaky Friday (1976) - Again, a remake I enjoyed. The original? Never seen it. Can't imagine it being that amazing.

Pete's Dragon (1977) - The animation alone should make you want to see this.

Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (1977) - They made multiple Herbies...?

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) - Never was that big a Pooh fan, though the characters are amusing.

The Rescuers (1977) - Yes. Just yes. Not perfect, but an excellent movie. Just go out and watch it, if you haven't

Candleshoe (1978)

The Cat from Outer Space (1978) - Wow...

Hot Lead and Cold Feet (1978)

The Black Hole (1979) (first Disney movie rated PG) - The rating alone makes me want to see this.

The North Avenue Irregulars (1979)
Herbie Goes Bananas (1980)
Midnight Madness (1980) (released without any mention of Disney's involvement)

Popeye (1980) (co-produced with Paramount) - From what I remember, I greatly enjoyed this. But who didn't love Popeye the cartoon to begin with (after they removed his political and racist roots)?

Dragonslayer (1981) (co-produced with Paramount)

The Watcher in the Woods (1981) - I was going to say Midnight Madness got points for sexual innuendo as well but this totally takes the cake. Creepers of the world - unite.

The Fox and the Hound (1981) - I need to re-watch this. I barely remember it.

The Devil and Max Devlin (1981)
Condorman (1981)
Tron (1982)
Tex (1982)

Trenchcoat (1983) (released without mention of Disney's involvement) - And the nods to sexual deviation continue....

Never Cry Wolf (1983)

Something Wicked this Way Comes (1983) - If this is what I think it is, it's actually not half bad of a movie. I'd have to rewatch it, but it's not bad.

Tiger Town (1984)
One Magic Christmas (1985)

Return to Oz (1985) - Ignoring the fact it takes out (I think) the Heroic Monomyth that the original had and blatantly changes costumes of key characters...nice try Disney, nice try. Clearly you weren't above making cheep sequels simply for profit even back then.

The Black Cauldron (1985) - Finally Disney dips fully into darker material. Of course...they don't do well with it and it's shipped back to the vaults for years to come (they even removed a restaurant dedicated to Gurgi in Disney World!). Sigh...the wrongs of the world....

Flight of the Navigator (1986)

The Great Mouse Detective (1986) - If you have not seen this movie yet, first, smack yourself. Then, next time we see each other, we are going to see it together. When compared with most of the movies from the Disney Renaissance, it comes off far more like just a cartoon movie, but Basil's word for word matching of Sherlock Holmes and Rattigan himself is just delicious to watch. One of my favorite Disney movies, by far.

Benji The Hunted (1987)

Oliver and Company (1988) - Yes! Sure, it's yet another take on the many times reproduced Oliver Twist...but it's so good! Totally fun and amusing throughout, its only flaw (like many good - I stress good here - Disney movies) is it can't function beyond being a cartoon movie. That doesn't stop me from enjoying it beyond measure, though.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1088) (released through Touchstone) - Okay, this is a tad stretch in labeling it a "Disney movie", but it's too good. This, in no way, ought to be considered a kids movie; the Dip scene gave me nightmares as a kid. But being older, you've gotta love the nearly totally serious film noir motifs amongst a backdrop of cartoons (it's fucking comical seeing a bottle of booze on a detective eye's desk with photos of the detective standing next to characters like Goofy). Also, the realism they applied to the cartoons far outscores anything done before (Pete's Dragon, Mary Poppins, etc.); the toons become 3D. As Baby Herman put it, "I've got a 50 year old lust and a 3 year old dinky." - cartoon animation at its best, ladies and gentlemen.

The Little Mermaid (1989) - Ahh, finally - the Disney Renaissance. And I don't entirely like the movie. Well, to be fair, I really need to re-watch it. So, until then, I withhold judgment.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) - We all know it. It was good, in my opinion.

The Rescuers Down Under (1990) - Ahh, yes, the sequel to The Rescuers. And get this - it's good. There're more mature themes (I mean this purely in the non-pornographic sense), so it operates on both levels, like a good animated movie generally should.

Shipwrecked (1991)
The Rocketeer (1991)

Beauty and the Beast (1991) - Back to Renaissance movies. Really, the only thing that possibly irks me about this movie is that Disney made it to combat the superficial state of our culture at the time - and the prince happens to be really attractive at the end. See how long she sticks around with someone unattractive. Otherwise, flawless beauty (not only plot-wise but animation-wise as well). And I'm not at all biased in this decision; not like I knocked off the entire premise with an improv group at all....

Aladdin (1992) - Ah, Aladdin. What to say? It's good. Not exactly one of my favorites, but it is a good movie. Genie makes it, really, though.

Newsies (1992)

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) - Don't remember this one enough, sadly, though I generally love the series.

The Mighty Ducks (1992) - Must I even say anything?

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) - Ohh, when the Muppets still made good versions of movies. Really, you just have to watch it. Flawless. Also, Gonzo as Charles Dickens - classic.

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993) (remake of 1963 movie) - I quite enjoyed this. Plus, it has Stevie's brother as one of the actors. Much better than the original, actually.

Cool Runnings(1993)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) - It was written by Tim Burton and combines both Halloween and Christmas - 'nough said? Besides, Oogie Boogie's song alone makes this movie worth it.

Hocus Pocus (1993)
Angels in the Outfield (1994)

The Lion King (1994) - Ahh, finally. And now Disney gets its act together and goes a little darker in content (they've become so frightened of contraversy lately, it's sickening). While based slightly on Hamlet, it leaves out all the delectables that the play had. However, it replaces them with some of their own. Scar has to be one of the best villains Disney has ever shipped us and "Be Prepared" is absolutely shivering in how good it is. Epic drama, ladies and gentlemen - emotions run deep.

The Santa Clause (1994)

Pocahontas (1995) - This one has gotten a lot of criticism, but I really enjoy it. The music is totally catchy (not to mention nostalgic). And even though they botch history and give it a happy ending, it's a good message and good movie on its own. Again, not one of my favorites, but a good movie.

Toy Story (1995) - Ohh, Toy Story. Who doesn't like this movie? Great concept and just well done. Eh, words can't do this justice. Go out and watch it.

Man of the House (1995)
Homeward Bound 2: Lost in San Francisco (1996)
101 Dalmatians (1996) (live-action remake of 1961 movie)

Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) - Alright, has to be one of my favorite movies of all time. By far the darkest material that Disney has ever touched. And I have yet to see something come nearly as close to this. Frollo is the best Disney villian, ever. The music is astounding and powerful. And, it entertains my favorite topic of all time - the value of physical beauty. The only flaw in this is that, in the end, Esmeralda falls for the good looking captain instead of the hunched over, grotesque guy (though, the movie's ending might be far more realistic and truthful, even up to Quasimodo ringing those bells in utter bliss; harsh, yes, but I'm a realist). Despite that, though, absolute favorite. I don't understand how this can get poor reviews.

James and the Giant Peach (1996)
Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves (1997)

Hercules(1997) - Another great one. For once, the villain is comical (though loses no sense of being evil) - love that. Plus the whole feel of the movie is great. Having a gospel choir for a movie about a Greek myth is kinda odd, but the music is great. Only flaw is the constant inaccurate Greek history references. I mean, if you're gonna make them, you could've made them accurate! But I suppose not everyone is a Greek mythology junkie like myself.

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (1997) - Don't know what it is, but I must see this now if it's at all related to The Wind In the Willows.

Flubber (1997)
George of the Jungle (1997) - Hilarious movie. It doesn't need much said about it.

The Second Jungle Book: Mowgli and Baloo (1997) (direct to video) - Thus begins the really poor direct-to-video sequels that Disney would shell out for sheer profit....

The Lion King II (1998) - Okay, I take very dear umbrage (for those who've ever had class with Mr. Larsen) to this movie, simply because there is a lot of back story to the Disney characters spawned from The Lion King (mostly in kids books which are really hard to find now). Rafiki, particularly, is a character I'd like to see more examined, since he treads the line of unofficial jester and wise "prophet". His dire role as protector is especially seen in this movie (the most epic scene when Kovu is banished and Rafiki sits on a hill and just buries his face in his hand). However, the movie is pretty much bad. And any prospects of adding more dynamic to the story, Disney cut out of the movie for fear of controversy. Really, if they had just gotten Zira's song "My Lullaby" right, they could have had something on the level of "Be Prepared" and I would have been happy. Oh well, least it's not as bad as the abomination 1 1/2 (yes, I appreciate the Shakespeare theme (First, Hamlet - Second, Romeo and Juliet - 1 1/2, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead), but I hardly hold Lion King 1 1/2 anywhere near Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead).

Mulan (1998) - Again, great classic. Now we even get into some gender bending, which I love. Great music, great message (which actually isn't compromised in the end, which is a first for Disney). I enjoyed a lot. One of my favorites. The sequel was rediculous. Get this - Mulan is reduced to feminine, docile wife. I understand the culture and that she probably would be more effiminate after the war, but docile? Fuckin' A....

A Bug’s Life (1998) - Not my favorite Pixar film, but still good. Personally, I enjoyed Antz more...but still good.

The Parent Trap (1998) (remake of 1961 movie) - I admit, I enjoyed. Geez, Lindsay, what has happened to you?

Summer of the Monkeys (1998) - Just by the name, I want to see this movie.

Inspector Gadget (1999) - I actually enjoyed this. The cartoon is kinda difficult to make a movie as it was, so the alterations were good. Then they released the second one, which was a joke....

The Straight Story (1999)

Toy Story II (1999) - A sequel that's actually better than the original? And by Disney? Oh, Pixar had a say, that explains everything. Honestly, it stays true to the message of the original but is side-burstingly funny. So good. It's hard not to love Toy Story, in general.

Tarzan (1999) - Great movie. Deviates from the book, but can we expect elsewise from Disney? For the first time in a while, not a musical, but still enjoyable.

Fantasia 2000 (2000) - I was never that enthusiastic about Fantasia in general, but I enjoyed this one. Not much else to say.

The Kid (2000)

Remember the Titans (2000) - Who doesn't love this??

Life-Size (2000) - Not bad, but not something I'd jump to see again.

Dinosaur (2000) - I actually liked this, despite good reason to criticize it. It's entertaining, but nothing groundbreaking or new.

The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) - This is genius wrapped in something new and utterly enjoyable. If you haven't seen this...go! Now.

102 Dalmatians (2000) - Honestly? No.

The Princess Diaries (2001) - I enjoyed, I'll admit. Not anywhere near a favorite of mine, but I wouldn't mind watching again.

Max Keeble's Big Move (2001) - I really enjoyed this movie. It got generally low reviews, but I don't see why. Nothing too astonishing, but enough of a twist to really enjoy it. Plus, us Clarinets got to show our worth, and there's a general vibe of Band pride which I cannot ignore.

Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001) - I have to re-watch it. I thought I enjoyed it, but not entirely sure anymore.

Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed In At The House Of Mouse (2001)
Monster’s Inc. (2001) - This is an amazing movie, nearing Toy Story almost. You've all probably seen it, so little I have to say.

Snow Dogs (2002)
The Rookie (2002)
The Country Bears (2002)

Lilo & Stitch (2002) - As someone else said, a single "parent" and outcasted child? Disney, is this you? I admit, I was pleasantly surprised at how good this movie was. Then Disney drove the series into the ground. What a surprise.

Treasure Planet (2002) - I'm mixed on this. I love the concept. But the product turned out less than savory. As someone else pointed out...the "ships" look just like boats...c'mon, I could just watch a movie of the original if I wanted that. However, much of it was still good. I have to re-watch it for a proper analysis.

Tuck Everlasting (2002)
The Santa Clause 2 (2002)
Inspector Gadget 2 (2002) (direct to video)

Holes (2003) - Good adaptation.

Brother Bear (2003)
The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003)

Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) (first Disney family movie with a PG-13 rating) - Excellent, really, particularly considering it was a knockoff of a Disney World ride. Then they went and altered the ride...damn you, Disney.

Freaky Friday (2003) (remake of 1976 movie)
The Haunted Mansion (2003)

Finding Nemo (2003) - Wonderful, if alone just for Dori. One of my favorites.

George of the Jungle 2 (2003) (direct to video) - You couldn't just leave a good movie, alone, could you??

Miracle (2004) - This was good.

Lion King 1 1/2(2004) - abomination

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004) - I'd say something about Lindsay here, but it might offend some.

Hidalgo (2004) (thru Touchstone Pictures)
Around the World in 80 Days (2004)

Home On the Range (2004) - If I have the ability, I never want to see this movie.

The Incredibles (2004) - Love the twist on the "superheros go into hiding". Good movie.

The Princess Diaries 2 (2004) - Could've been worse.

National Treasure (2004)
Aliens of the Deep (2005) (IMAX)

Chicken Little (2005) - You can't possibly hold it to something like Lion King, The Great Mouse Detective, or The Hunchback of Notre Dame but I enjoyed. Nice twist on an old tale. A lot of parody (including self-parody) made it quite enjoyable.

The Pacifier (2005)

Ice Princess (2005) - The highlight of this movie was the "Leaping Dwarf". Not a bad movie, but not my type of movie.

Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005)
Sky High (2005)
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)
The Jungle Cruise (2006)

High School Musical (2006) - I will not dignify this with a response.

Cars (2006) - Again, Pixar delivers. I was surprised, but I liked. However, more and more "kid movies" are moving away from bigger themes (which, btw, kids don't notice half the time you put them in there, so put them for the the rest of us). Give me the underlyings of Lady and the Tramp and The Aristocats, please.

Cow Belles (2006)
The Shaggy Dog (2006) (remake of 1959 movie)
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)
Invincible (2006)

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) - And the Pirates series continues to deliver. Excellent set up for an awful fall.

Bridge To Terabithia (2007) Disney-Walden Media

Meet the Robinsons (2007) - Seriously? The T-Rex was mad amusing, but otherwise...no.

High School Musical 2 (2007) - Shoot me? Actually, shoot the rediculous public that bought into the bullcrap.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) - I am sorely mixed on this. Had potential (and I actually like the looping plot), but key parts tore it from its roots, I think. Weak link of the series, easily.

Ratatouille (2007) - This is the first time I have to ask Pixar what they were smoking. I also have to ask the people who give this great reviews. The movie had minimal jokes, leading to it not being that funny (and most of the jokes have been done before - the fighting French couple?? It's only a funny because we've seen jokes of it before!). Also, the plot's not strong enough at all to carry it. Ehhh, get rid, please.

Enchanted (2007) - I loved the beginning of this; it seemed like beautiful parody of (funnily enough, Disney) classic fairy tales. The girl is grossly skinny and is waiting for a Prince so she can live her life. They want to marry the second they meet. And the squirrel is an awesome replacement for Jacques, as well. Then it proceeds like a regular fairy tale. The highlight of the movie is when they're in the male main character's office building and pass by the statue of a rather robust woman and the princess just stops and utters, "She's beautiful." Of course, my family chose that moment to laugh and say how it was not. Please, don't complain about your poor self image or self-esteem...your ignorance in astounding.

The Game Plan (2007)
Magical Mirror Starring Mickey Mouse (2007)
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (2008)
Minuteman (2008)
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)

Wall-E (2008) - Haven't seen it yet, but I've heard mixed reviews. We'll see.

Camp Rock (2008)
High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008)

Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert (2008) - Honestly, Miley, if you just released a slideshow of all those pictures you put out on the internet, we'd be far more interested.

Bolt (2008)

Toy Story III (2010) - Okay, so this hasn't actually come out yet, but I couldn't help myself in adding it. Toy Story rocks.

Why is it that people get so touchy over suicide? I mean, yes, I get those who think it's "wrong" and "morally immature" but people are just squeamish about it.

In rating a movie, they felt the need to add drug use (antidepressants) and suicide along with "extremely graphic sex".

Seriously?

We've all been there or seen someone who's been there, for the most part. Don't be naïve about it. I don't know how we can be fine with people being mulled down by machine guns and yet scream and run at suicide (something, I would argue, is far more likely to happen than the next Columbine).

Why is it I have to be so patient and accepting (and sound like a conceited ass in that sentence)? I mean, I really do have enough to deal with. No, forgive me, I can't fill out every request for help. I wish I could, believe me. If I could just solve problems for the rest of my life (and be capable of it), I would. I'd quite enjoy it. But I really I can't. And here I am, listening to the problems and trying to offer support. Tad bit hypicritical Jon, wouldn't you say?

Honestly, I'm not that eye-catching. And I can't even solve my own problems. I'm a false hope if you believe in me.

I should be finishing my paper. I still have time. But I wasted the day. I'm tired.

You know, I would really like to rant about appearance right now - I know, I know, you guys have heard it all before. But when I hear comments for Miley Sirus, listing the reason as to why they like because she's cute - pardon??? "Oh, I like Lily better because she's prettier than Miley." Well, would it be so surprising that this commenter winds up with a eating disorder someday? I shouldn't say that - that's so assuming, it's pitiful. But honestly? Is that how you live you life? Oh, he/she's not attractive, so I won't give him/her the time of day?

You know what - I'd love to subject each person to being an outcast when they're younger. Get picked on, feel insecure about yourself, never know if someone is telling you a straight answer or not - go through that shit and try to degrade another person after that.

Honestly, the things we pick each other over - it's so utterly petty. And disgusting.

Further, that whole, believe in God or you don't go to Heaven crap, no matter what you've done on Earth - I don't know much (I'm willing to contend very little, in all aspects of life), but if that's the basic measure of a man, we're in serious shit.

In a world that can be as utterly cruel as it wants, without humanity's intervention - people's acts of kindness are all we've got. You remember that, damn it - the only difference between peace and Hell on Earth is you. So, thanks for feeding me when I had no food, when you clothed me, when you gave me shelter - oh, and enjoy Hell, because you weren't a Christian.

Fuck you, you pretentious pigs. Yes, I'm aware I've ceased to even begin to construct a wholly logically based argument anymore, and I've also forsaken speaking politely. But I've seen more than enough of Hell. And I'm sick of bickering with the ignorant.

Imagine if you could be so enraptured in someone without having to gaze at the shape of their body, but just enthralled by who they are, the layered facets of their personality. Oh, I can't articulate it.

But you'd never get bored of them and they'd never cease to amaze.

EDIT Dec. 7th, 2008 7:21 PM: I think I got it today, while watching Colors of the Wind on YouTube, no doubt. A surprising amount of commenters were talking about the Wiccan religion, due to the striking similarity of its tenements and those in the video (belief in everything having a spirit or life and being important - assuming I've interpreted them correctly). And for one commenter ("I want to be Wiccan"), I was tempted to comment as a joke, "Don't say that - they'll be accusing Disney of being anti-Christian soon." Of course, I wasn't serious (though, considering Harry Potter and Twilight, who's to say). I was glad to see her exercising her opinion and making her own choices. Anyone who knows me knows I differ in belief, but (of course and always) to each their own. And then I realized my actual problem. As I'm sure you've all listened to the song, it's simply about acceptance and caring for each other. And I love that.

If I'm to go to Hell for thinking that those welcoming gates aren't big enough for so big of hearts - well, then fine. No one who knows me can say I don't love God, but I can't love humanity any less.

I owe my life to a questioning atheist and a deist. I expect to see their faces come Judgement Day.

Some may ask what took me so long, but I've discovered The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

And I confess I'm addicted.

Not a bad night. After rehearsal, the band - dressed in black with face paint - ran around campus, playing music in the dorms, dining halls, and libraries. After that was done, I went to Chelsea's and watched Friends and Family, which was hilarious. I've got the Homecoming game tomorrow and still (all) my reading and the paper. Eh, I at least enjoyed Halloween.

Have I ever mentioned I love Halloween?

Maybe it's the memories of trick-or-treating in the neighborhood, setting up the decorations around the house. Maybe it's having an excuse to watch The Exorcist 20 more times. Maybe it's that simple aspect I like creeping myself out and anything scary.

Who knows. In any case, I love the holiday. I'll admit, I was always slightly jealous my brother had his birthday during October because he could always have a Halloween party and, let's face it, Nov. 22nd is a little too far away for such things; then again, you can't really have a Thanksgiving party either, unless you want to basically lose all friends. Instead of having a social life, you kind of become the talk of the social life; and not in a good way. Now I wish I could have gone as a turkey for Halloween this year. Unfortunately, I don't have my usual costume because I forgot to bring it (it'd probably be too small anyway) and forgot to buy a new one when my mom visited (at some point, it just because tradition to be the character from Scream every year). So I donned the Cat In the Hat hat I nabbed from Homecoming that one year the theme was Dr. Suess (on that point, a construction cone with the CAUTION tape around it from the year the theme was construction is on my desk as I type). I am the Cat In the Hat this year. Yeah, it was cheap (free) and easy, so sue me.

Unfortunately, I won't be going trick-or-treating this year (much too much reading to do). I won't be watching The Exorcist either (though I do have The Nightmare Before Christmas with me...procrastination, anyone? Thanks for the gift, Dods). But hey, it's fall, it's not raining for once (or snowing, for that matter), and I get more candy than I should, once again.

I absolutely love this holiday.