October 14, 2012

  • There was a moment, in the familiarity of Caroline, Laila, and Monica tonight, where I had this worry that, once I achieved some form of stability that I was happy with, I would find that I actually didn't like even that and still wanted more. I shortly realized that this was because I was imagining the only realistic stability I might achieve is one so likely to fall apart and dissipate (I may never be able to articulate what it means every time someone reaches out to me in persistence, wanting to actually spend time in my presence). It is not being unhappy with stability that is my fear: it is never being able to achieve stability.