August 4, 2012

  • You know, I do hate repetition, but (for clarity's sake):

    My mother was dominant and abusive throughout most of my childhood. My father often made it seem like his love was dependent on certain superficial concepts. Now, of course, these are simplistic statements, not-100% true. But I'm summarizing.

    Combined with my generally independent nature (or perhaps created it?), I don't like being controlled. While (like most things) there is good that can possibly come from others making decisions for you, the highest level of accuracy is from a person independently in control. Help is best received when asked for rather than forced upon.

     

    Do not tell me what to do.

    Ever.

     

    I can fully make my own decisions. You are welcome to suggest or ask but any command will immediately be received in ill mood.

    Tied to this, if I say something, I mean it. Yes, there's the whole issue of lying and the like but, as someone often mistaken and judged, take my word. As I know I've said here a million times, I try to be as honest and of full-character with everyone. Anyone who reads this could deduce it, but – for the record – the entirety of my being and all my ideals, motives, etc. stem from my abuse as a child. That is why I consider the highest good you can achieve is serving others. It is why I always act with integrity. Etc. Even you think it seems otherwise, I am not lying. If I say I am going to bed and that takes 2 hours, there's a reason for it (depression), even if it doesn't make sense to you.