January 25, 2010

  • My favorite lines from today:

    [Charlie, who was keeping score of the basketball game, during half time]:
    "So, apparently one of the women over there thought you were going to give Chelsea an orgasm from the back massage you were giving her, and they were really glad they could see her mouth. Also, they're surprised you guys weren't already making out by now. So, congrats Jon, you've apparently got yourself a girlfriend now."

    [Me as Chelsea's trying to burrow into the side of my stomach]:
    "Have you eaten recently?"
    [Chelsea]:
    "I had dinner."
    [Me]:
    "Did you have lunch?"
    [Chelsea]:
    "...I had an orange."
    [Me]:
    "What did you have for dinner?"
    [Chelsea]:
    "Whatever I had in my bag. It's at least a few hundred calories!"
    [Me]:
    "Chelsea...a rabbit only needs a few hundred calories...you are not a rabbit."

    [Charlie]:
    "Yeah, me and Chels have mastered voice carrying."
    [Kylie]:
    "Not if you count that woman today. She was literally glaring at you."
    [Charlie]:
    "Well, yeah, but she was right next to me. I've mastered voice carrying, not surrounding area awareness."
    [Kylie]:
    "You'd think that'd be the more important of the two."

    [Me to my cousin while walking home from our failed attempt at enjoying the warm weather by finding a swingset (all the snow actually melted today...but it also started to pour as we were walking to the swingset)]:
    "Gah, now the rain's soaked everything. I hate the texture of wet pants; I like my girls clingy, not my pants."