Catholicism

  • This year Williams got a new president. A nice enough guy, from what I've seen of him thus far.

    With our last president, Morty, every year the members of Williams Catholic would have dinner around the middle of the first semester to celebrate some feast that, sadly, I cannot remember the name for. While I actually don't know if this was the case, I imagine that similar things were offered to the other religious groups on campus; it'd be severely problematic if that wasn't the case.

    Regardless, the point is that, this year, we naturally asked if the same thing would be done this year for our new president. I've missed every dinner in the past and I was looking forward to this one to welcome in our new president (or at least get to know him further than just playing Hail to the Chief with a silly hat on (the marching band, you see)).

    His response, however, was that that wouldn't be the case. He's an atheist and does not want religion in his home. He would support us entirely outside but he did not want us bringing religion in.

    Which, you know, is fine if he's an atheist. My attendance at Williams Secular Community (WSC) should be evidence enough. But maybe that's just what first came to mind - WSC. We're not asking to have this dinner with him because we intend to convert him or something like that. It's like sharing passover with some friends of yours with the idea in mind that they intend to make you Jewish; the notion's rediculous. Or maybe that's not an event that most people have experienced.

    The point is, by saying that you don't want to share dinner with us, it's a direct rejection of everything that we're about. It's like the dumbasses that staunchly refuse to say Happy Holidays over Merry Christmas because - God forbid - they have to acknowledge that some people actually believe in something other than Christianity or that others don't believe in anything (religious-wise) at all. It's a rejection of those people, a way of saying, "You - are - wrong, to the point that I couldn't even bother to bear supporting you."

    Well then. Thank you President Falk. Or am I over-reacting?

    Perhaps the reason why I jumped at the chance to chair InterFaith, I like other's ideas. Which maybe betrays some bias. I wouldn't think so, but maybe so. Which may be the reason that I simply saw that dinner as a way of saying, "Hey, we want to share with you this integral part of us. We want to get to know you; come celebrate with us."

     

     

    So, when I say Merry Christmas to you all, this isn't some demeaning attempt to convert, certainly not a way of saying that I think my religious belief is better than yours, or any of any other possible affronts that could be misconstrued from the gesture.

    It's a way of sharing my tradition with you and the sentiments that go with that - have a safe holidays, with friends and coming together with family. Goodwill towards all and the usual stuff.

     

     

    Merry Christmas all. I hope it's a happy one.

  • Alright, next update on my recent sleep escapades (with all the hours I'm saving, I can actually say that remotely seriously :{P ).

    In my last update, I had overslept one of my naps. Following that, I got back onto the schedule alright. I ended up off-setting the sleep schedule by half an hour or so to celebrate Emily's birthday, but nothing ridiculous. If my body does adapt to this schedule, I'll have roughly an hour wiggle room so I should probably get used to not always falling asleep directly on time.

    Having to take my nap at 11:30, now most of Williams Catholic is certain that I'm crazy (though I appreciate their loving concern). Granted, as my first somewhat sarcastic post might've revealed, I'm not certain myself this will work.

    But, like I said, I've developed a habit since Senior year of high school of just trying things, so long as there's a remote possibility of success, and worrying about the consequences once they occur (I'm pretty sure that's a regression in terms of decision-making but since I've noticed this trend in me I've always wondered if I even did grow out of the phase of learning only from the consequences of your actions *shrug*).

    So, maybe this whole thing is crazy and unhealthy and won't work. All things considered, it's only the latter that's really regrettable. I don't think I've monitored what enters my body...well, ever and, as I said before, I'm quite content in my sugar addiction. Sleep deprivation is nothing new to me, so no real new points there. Plus I've always been more goal oriented than long-term oriented ("Who cares if I'm utterly exhausted?? I finished, didn't I?"). So, from that perspective - you only live once, right? Such sound advice is what I tell myself too.

     

    Anyway, these are all side tidbits. My sleeping was doing well. Between the 8 and 12 hour nap I was downright exhausted. And here's where things got derailed. Like before, I overslept (and, again, like before, my body woke me up in almost exactly 2 hours). This also had the added bonus of having me sleep through lab (though I technically made the 2:30 one, apparently Duane has stopped teaching the lab again from that time period so I just read over the procedure and headed back to my dorm).

    I'm not so worried about that this time in part because I've (unwisely) managed the past three weekends doing absolutely no work (other than last minute scrambling, there was actually very little difference than a normal weekend of work - that still disturbs me) and, with my new sleep schedule, I'll be able to have plenty of time to just focus on my coding before going to a TA for help.

    The extra 9-10 hours I've gained from switching to this schedule has made the past 2 days remotely possible. There was no way I'd finish my two labs if I was on a monophasic sleep schedule. I'd like to think that such an expansive amount of time will allow for me to not be capable of possibly procrastinating that long (thus allowing me to do my work), but I know my body's love to adapt when it comes to procrastination.

     

    Anyway, back to the actual details of this sleep. So, for my 12 P. M. nap, I overslept. This is problematic because my oversleeping so far seems to happen at my most tired states - states that should be utterly ripe for my body to immediately jump to REM. Constantly sleeping past these is probably stopping my body from making the proper adjustment.

    On the other hand, I've been playing with the idea of, if this sleep schedule doesn't work, switching to sleep schedule focused around 2 hour sleep periods (since my body seems really invested in that time frame these days). I won't gain back nearly as many hours, I think (I haven't planned any actual schedule out yet so this is guess-work), but it might be an idea to play with. I mean, considering I seriously have a problem with getting sane numbers of sleep, this might be a wiser decision since any reduction in sleeping hours would be better than none. It would allow for enough time, in theory, for my body to switch into the REM sleep I need since my big problem with the 20 minute naps (thus far) is that I'm just not getting REM (or even falling asleep in time for my alarm).

     

    In any case, that's where I'm at right now. I'm going to hunker down and try to keep better to my sleep schedule. That part that irritates me is that that crucial moment probably won't come again until roughly four naps in (so, for my upcoming 6 A. M. nap). I can be impatient and I hate waiting. This is part of why I plan schedules that try to optimize my time all the time (and then get utterly frustrated when they inevitably go wrong due to random unforeseen events throughout the day). These two set-backs are irritating. Granted my next midterm isn't until 2 weeks, so I have time, but still.

    The other area I'm wondering about is how to handle my usual methods of staying up or getting energy. I've managed to cut caffeine out nearly entirely during these past 3 days. Sugar I've been less monitoring about, though I haven't actually sought out sugar as a means to stay awake. In the "article" (I know it's not, it's a blog post, but I didn't actually pay enough attention to the site when I first went to it to notice whether it was a blog or not, and I'm more concerned with you all understanding what I mean that what it's called, in the grand scheme of things, seeing as this really is just a personal (and, therefore, informal) journal rather than any sort of formal publication) I showed you all on the first post, the author says he avoided eating before naps since the (possible) digestion made it harder to sleep. I've been doing that. But I don't know what to do about those other habits that keep me up. I mean, I have to make it to each of my assigned naps and not fall asleep before that but, on the other hand, this process works by jumping to REM from exhaustion, so I don't want to assuage my sleepiness before a nap.

    In any case, I thinks that's all the updates I have. This will be...a long weekend. Work (school and workstudy), yet Halloween...balanced between polyphasic sleeping. Heh, I remember coining a phrase that seems to fit these past days quite well: "Why be normal when you can be ridiculous " I won't be able to say my life boring come my end, I can say that at least.

  • So, the baptism was fantastic.

    I ended up finding out right before rehersal as alter server that I had no time to set up later for work, so I had to run to the music building and set up the chairs and stands for Symphonic Winds practice tonight. However, I managed it in roughly 25 minutes and made it back.

    The alter servers all got last minute preping in the back as we got ready to go out. We pulled out five of us for the occassion, all regulars (in terms of serving).

    There was also three people getting their confirmation (including the one getting baptised). It was really just awesome. We were all kind of emotional the entire time.

    However, pressed as I was (Sunday's always are my busiest days, sadly), I couldn't stay for the dinner and had to run off immediately afterwards.

    Oh well. Back to some last minute homework, before turning in for the night.

  • I'm actually on top of my homework this weekend. I've had to keep my nose to the grindstone since Friday (thereby disallowing me to give anything else attention, for the most part), but I'm on a proper schedule. I don't think I've done that since the semester started.

    The reason I've been so down and aloof this whole past month (sorry Xanga!) was because I was just bombing my classes and had no idea how to do better. And I'm someone who needs control (I'm pretty sure I've talked about that in some past entry). I need a plan, I need to know what's going on - things don't go well otherwise (such as borderline panic attacks during midterm week).

    Aaaannnnnndddddd, to make things even better, one of the girls who joined Williams Catholic at the beginning of the year is getter baptized tomorrow. As I remember it (with my shaky memory), her parents aren't the most religious or fell out of the faith, so she's pretty much rediscovering it for herself and coming back by her choice.

    Now, she's having her baptism, confirmation, and the eucharist all tomorrow and all of the alter servers are going to be there to help plan and facilitate it.

    Also, in celebration for this, we had a party today at 10:30 (only break I've taken from my homework, so that was an added bonus).

    It was fantastic to just hang out with Williams Catholic again. I've missed two Masses due to my stress and work and I had to miss serving for one of them (and alter serving is one of those things I absolutely love doing). They're a great group, and it was great to congratulate our new "convert" (as we've jokingly refered to her as).

    So, all of this is just great. It's gonna be a good weekend (haven't had one of those in a while...).

  • Okay, I know I make the mistake often of assuming certain things are a given and common knowledge, but please bear with me because I honestly thought people knew this as a matter of course.

    1. NEVER use two condoms at once. Friction, people. While condoms are quite impressive in some fashions (such as being able to stretch incredibly and not break), they are quite sensitive in others. Asher Roth - you will hate college quite soon at that rate.
    2. Do not use oil lubricants. For the sake of keeping your genitals safe from disease and to avoid pregnancy, stick to water. When in doubt, two letters - KY.
    3. Please don't put a condom in your wallet. PLEASE. Again, friction. Magazine images should not be casually showing condoms in a wallet (it pertained to the article, don't worry); that's misleading and someone someday will regret it. When in doubt about where to keep condoms, follow the chocolate bar routine (except for the fridge!).
    4. If he says he's too big for them, they'll break - he's probably lying.
    5. If you pinch the very center of the condom package and your fingers touch, find another condom.
    6. Condoms have a roughly 99% chance of working. They are extremely effective, but they are not invincible. AND - that number is only if you put the condom on completely correctly, don't deteriate the rubber by friction or chemicals, etc.
    7. Anyone, any age can buy condoms. Do not let anyone ever tell you you cannot have them - they will not be paying the doctor bill. Further, most health centers and similar non-profit organizations/institutions will give them out for free.

    Really, it's bad when the virgin and Catholic is giving you condom advice. Sexual knowledge is your priority and duty - and, more than anything, it can never hurt and will always benefit you.

    /Health class over

  • I guess I should have an actual entry by now? It's been a bit of a while. Then again, my xanga has been more just my thoughts than an actual journal of my days. On the other hand...I haven't really given you guys much of actual entries as of late (either that or I'm just exercising my excellent inability to estimate time). So, for those who actually read this still, if any, what I've been up to as of late:

     

    It's currently Winter Study, which means three weeks of one class chosen before Winter Break. I decided to take Atheism in part out of interest and in part because I thought a decent amount of the Williams Secular Community would sign up as well. Well...not exactly. A Freshman who attended some meetings at the beginning of the year and someone who had been abroad the past semester, so - at first - I thought that I knew no one in the class.

    It's interesting. The class is basically entirely discussion based. We do some assigned reading the night before and then discuss the points made in them, which often unravels into many other related topics.

    As for class makeup, there's 8 atheists, a Christian who's in Williams Christian Fellowship, and myself (Roman Catholic, born and raised (the raised part is a joke)). Andy is, I think, Evangelical, but he's ever so slightly more liberal in his theology (believes in evolution without discrediting the notion of a relative creation story). It adds an interesting element to the discussions.

    I haven't revealed my own religious convictions to the group yet but that's largely because I don't want to commit myself to anything when I'm wrestling and weighing different types of arguments as much as because I like to play with expectations and it's easier to play the Devil's advocate when your identity is ambiguous (and, I suppose, passing has just become second nature to me by now).

    However, Andy (the Christian of the group) did happen to catch me outside of class when my crucifix was outside my shirt, so he was happy to find a fellow Christian in the class. In a situation that seemed so ironic it just has to be beautiful, it soon became clear that not all our same tenets aligned as I disagreed with him on what tends to be, regardless of sect, something most Christians believe in - whether belief in God is necessary for entry into Heaven. Neither of us left the conversation persuaded by the other, but I absolutely loved the conversation regardless.

    It's an interesting class and I'm really enjoying it, though disliking the 10 page paper due at the end. Plus only 2 weeks left of Winter Study....

    As most of my friends know by now, I sprained my wrist playing broomball with the Marching Band. We won the game (quite beautifully with 3 or 2 to 0), though. It seems to be on the mend, which shocks me because it's only been 48 hours and I've been expecting at least a week for recovery. This, of course, doesn't discourage my general motto towards my body that if I let it take care of itself, it'll mend any sort of pain, disease, or cut on its own without any assistance.

    Speaking of which, staying over Chelsea's dorm for the night to watch Tinman (sci. fi. version of The Wizard of Oz (she knows me too well...). Apparently the same person's also made a sci. fi. version of Alice In Wonderland) while Chels was sick turned into me catching whatever she had. I woke up this morning with the worst throat ache I've ever had. Taking my temperature confirmed also that I had a slight fever. It being 7:48 in the morning, I didn't want to deal with it and went back to sleep. By 2 today, the throat pain was barely noticeable anymore and (I assume) my temperature has returned to normal.

     

    The less pleasant portion of this story started at lunch (though flared up partially yesterday). I was just sitting there and, well, I just wanted to curl up right there. It's odd to explain. It's like you want to be alone yet hate it, wanting to do something but all that ends up being is just rocking back and forth. It often happens when I just leave the presence of other people. The thing is, you can't really tell when it's gonna come. I'm pretty sure it's a result of depression - I mean, what else am I going to blame random, out-of-the-blue, tormenting, unsettling feelings on? While I can generally expect a downer after having a great time, it also seems to go in cycles. Combined, this can throw off expectation. The other possibility is that I'm just losing control more as time goes on. The depression (as it goes untreated) could be getting worse. I have a distinct feeling I'm going to suffer a panic attack someday soon, which will be a clear sign things have gone very, very differently. Then again, I've been talking about me losing control on things I once had since Sophomore year of high school, so who knows. I have to admit, there'd be a bit of comedy (that I couldn't well enough just ignore) if I avoided suicide those many times just to lose control of myself by wearing out depression.

    But now I'm just being a downer. They say that there's two parts to therapy - changing the way you think, see things, et cætera, and the chemicals. Well, I know my shit is chemically based by now. Again, such mood swings that are so disturbingly strong are not normal. It's the changing the way I think part that bothers me. For one, I'm pretty sure my thought process and certain ideas and opinions (in relation to depression) are formed by the mental disorder itself. If I can be happy, the depressing is generally miles from my brain (though that might be a polarized effect - when I'm happy, I'm just happy and I'm over the top with it, a result of the fact that when I'm neutral I'm slightly depressed and "tainted" and then everything else from there is just worse; but I may be generalizing so don't take this as necessarily fact).

    However - as I've said many, many times - there's a great beauty to the sad, the depressing. I still stand by my belief that pain makes the most beautiful people. To me, we can be breathtaking in anguish. And we cannot forget the amazing delicacy and beauty in recovery. To be allowed past those walls others construct is humbling when we remember just what it means to be allowed to enter those places of another person.

    In many other innumerable ways, I find the depressing to be intensely amazing. Sure, too much of such a thing hurts (I've gone over this perilous system a million times in the past, no need for repetition). So, I'll pass on the therapy. Just give me something to fix this imbalance. I suppose it's void, however, since I'm likely never to seek treatment. Once you get past that hump around Sophomore to Junior year (those with this know what I'm talking about), it's easy to deal with for the most part there on out.

     

    Gah, I'd really like to be in bed now...it's 4:43. So, while I was running to grab food as quick as I could for dinner, I stopped by the grill for pizza (bad choice, but oh well). As I was sitting, eating, this guy (I think) was looking at me. I just remember I made eye contact, it seemed I might know him, so I nodded as acknowledgement just in case. He nodded back and said, "They're not that bad." He was regarding my Black Sabbath t-shirt. "I've been getting into them lately, listening off of YouTube, you know; they're pretty good. I like Paranoid, and Sabbath Bloody Sabbath." Admittedly, it sounded so damn weird the way he said it, like they were a new band or something. But perhaps I'm biased, since I happen to think that Black Sabbath happens to sound downright Godly.

    Now, I'm absolutely awkward socially and this is the most apparent in people I don't know extremely well. So, I nod, say that's cool, keep nodding, not sure what else to say. He nods, then kinda turns away and waves his hand in a dismissive fashion while saying, "Yeah." It basically looked like he wasn't sure what to say as well and then decided that that's all he could say and was confirming that this was, indeed, a good moment to just stop talking. Totally fair enough.

    Then, for a split second, I think, "Wait, was he trying to hit on me?" Now, such random questions tend to pop into my head regularly, largely because I question everything (regardless if it deserves such skepticism or not) anyway. I generally dismiss such thoughts, as I did. But then I saw the guy talking to another guy I recognized who I know is gay but not really involved in the gay/Trans community on campus and not really with much of a gay identity.

    So...maybe I wasn't so off after all. Which then makes his shyness just plain cute (but I'm a romantic, so I find any sort of stuff such as this by anyone as cute). He should've just gone for it; you might get a no, but you never know unless you try (alright, I realize I'm a downright hypocrite for saying this, but I'm trying to do better).

    I got up to leave shortly afterwards but then The River by Springsteen came on, and I just froze where I was. I have to wonder if it's just nostalgia that makes me so affected by his songs. I literally just stopped. Then again, I was also still tripping off of these odd depression emotions (and drinking soda, laced with sugar, probably helped nothing). In any case, I ended up staying until the song finished.

     

    Now I sleep!

  • Race, Sex, Sexual Orientation - An Intelligent Assessment of Controversy

    m204757259

     

     

    This is NOT the past.

     

    We, in America, do not teach about marginalized groups in an appropriate way.

    The general conception is we've to treat everyone equally and fairly and everything is solved. Everyone gets along happily and everything is fixed.

    As idealistic as this mindset is, it is not adequate to truly understand marginalization.

    The first issue we run up against is the way that racism is thought of. I read once somewhere that a man visited high schools and found that black and white students consistently talked past each other on terms of race. The white students see racism as discriminatory actions towards others while the black students see racism often as institutional.

    And there is our first problem. I'll give you a hint: it's not that the students see racism in different terms.

    The man observing these students makes the claim that the black students see racism one way and the white students another. Ignoring that this binary excludes every other possible race, it makes the mistake of claiming that a certain way of thinking belongs to each race. Not only is this statement momentary and will likely change as time passes (not to mention it is a generalization), it doesn't get at why this is the current way these two races view racism.

    Frantz Fanon put out the fantastic argument that systems create racism. Trying to fight racism as actions and opinions is futile because these opinions and views of people will continually be created by the systems in society. Destroy the systems, destroy racism. While I don't entirely agree with this paraphrased version of Fanon, it gets at a point. For example:

    Some of the school systems in Chicago are based on (either) a tax system or where the student is living, with each place having a different level of taxes needing to be payed (I can't entirely remember). However, the other drawback is that the schools that receive students from low-tax areas are also poorer in quality. That means the ability to move up in society is greatly reduced. Combination of lower education and poverty (and all the frustration that goes with poverty)? Higher criminal rate and antisocial and -cultural habits within the people. And, as you might've guessed, the majority of people located in these areas are minorities.
    This system creates people who act out a role which allows the solidification of racism.

    And think about it - don't the stereotypes about blacks include poverty, living in a ghetto, being uneducated, and acting unruly? It's important to remember that this system originated in our nation's racist housing situation starting in the 50s (I won't take the time to explain that one here; I'll just take it on faith that your education in life has covered that part of history).

    Of course, you could object - that's not a racist institution. It's discriminatory, sure, but along class lines, not race. It was started by racist intentions, sure - but it's motivated by a monetary situation now. Switch out the blacks for any other race or put a mix of races there and you get the same situation. And, for the most part, I would agree. I actually do take the mainstream opinion that race is based upon the actions people take and views people hold. Racist institutions and groups can be formed, but whether that depends upon the group trying to promote racist ends (KKK) or it only requires a system to be founded with originally racist intentions in mind (the previous Chicago example) is not an important debate.

    Fine, don't fight it on arguments of racism. It's still a poor system that needs to be reformed. However, we must understand all of this I've just explained to understand why certain racial groups may argue about racism and the changes necessary to combat it in the way that they do.

    Which brings us nicely to Affirmative Action. I right now admit I don't believe I know enough about AA to speak wholly intelligently on it. I already know there are different forms of Affirmative Action; and it doesn't work quite like it is generally portrayed in the mainstream (you're black? Get a full ride for college!). Actually, GodlessLiberal did a well done post on AA quite a while back (if you happen to meander over, check out how the guy's been doing; he's been fading in and out of Xanga for a bit now). To summarize, he argued that AA should be based upon class rather than race (again, I stress, I do not fully understand the ways AA works. I'm assuming that GodlessLiberal's descriptions of it are correct. His serves as a good example, regardless, because of the lesson in perspective learned from it). I agree with his argument. This makes sense. However, if AA is based on race in implementation, we have to see why.

    Arguing against a staunch black AA defender that AA is an unfair system will not win the person over. As far as they're concerned, you're simply arguing for further suffering in a system that specifically picks out blacks economically. AA should reverse the inherent racism of the system that holds most blacks back. However, as we've already discussed (at least in this specific example of economic injustice situated in Chicago), the system is not racially motivated (though, even in millions of years, with no change to the system, it's unlikely any large amount of blacks will break from this system in a way that will reduce the number of blacks caught in the system. The most likely difference would be to add and trap other races in this system). The argument really should be that the system is abolished, thereby allowing equal economic opportunities, regardless of race.

    All that I've just said? That's the amount of unsaid material that happens in our current discussions on race. Now, I'm not entirely sure what types of systems may exist out there for other marginalized groups and how they may work off the top of my head. Since discussions of race and racism are so large and plentiful in our country, however, it's the easiest example. But this is only one side of the coin (if you've made it this far, I'm impressed; we need more people like you who are willing to adapt their mindsets).

    Two topics related to each other, this side of the coin is split in half. The first half is representation.

    Often, marginal groups will bring up issues that the majority of the country rolls their eyes at and don't understand the fuss over it. The perspective of the marginal group is lacking. You cannot just apply a veil over everyone and expect to treat and see them all the same. As much as I'd like that (and I do agree with the mainstream again and believe that is the goal), reality keeps us from doing so.

    The history of marginalized groups is important and must be taught - because it does inform the present. It explains why things are the way they are (think of the Chicago example above).

    Last week, there was an article on the front page that questioned whether Miley's possible use of the word Gay as an insult is offensive or not. Hell, why is it even important? Same question we've heard many times before. And it's here that the picture above draws relevance as well: defamation, ignominy, contempt.

    There's a reason why when an artform first created and performed by a marginalized group is taken in and performed by the mainstream and majority, some get angry. The artform was born out of struggle and persecution. Its history is often erased. The representation of your suffering is gone.

    "That's so gay!"

    Around the world, millions of 15-year-old boys and girls will be told they don't exist. And one of the few non-offensive words (faggot, lesbo, pederast, etc.) that they have to define themselves has been reduced to a mere petty insult. When you spend most of your life growing up being told that you're a fad or a phase and that you really can't be gay, this trivialization is more than just a changing of the meaning of a word and insulting to the very personage.

    I AM A MAN; I exist: do not deny me.

    The other half of this side of the coin is how we view marginal groups. I'll use myself as an example.

    I was raised in the suburbs. As a result, most of my tastes, interests, and what I think was formed by what is generally mainstream society. I consider myself a goth, identifying with the sub-culture. I love rap, writing some of my own as well. Reasonable Doubt by Jay-Z is, to me, one of the best albums ever. I was pretty much raised on Bruce Springsteen. Around high school I discovered Black Sabbath - and fell in love. Most of Freshman to Junior year, actually was stuck somewhere between Atreyu, Slipknot, and Cradle of Filth.I consider myself a nerd, loving video games and the such. My ethnicity is German, Haitian, Spanish, Polish, French, English, Scottish, and American. I grew up eating almost always Haitian food. I was raised Catholic and still piously practice Catholicism.

    I don't think I need to be the one to tell you that you could racialize pretty much every single one of those descriptions. But, in that context, some of them seem to contradict each other.

    The mainstream (and when I say that this time, I mean the intelligent faction that doesn't make generalized statements about particular races (I'm sure you could think of plenty race jokes for examples)), for the most part, holds the view that race is not attached to culture. As just seen, I'm a decent example of the types of cultural influence that may affect a person.

    I actually don't even have a racial identity. I don't see myself in terms of race. Sure, I'm aware that I'm a mixed child. I'm aware that most view me as "black" and that sometimes I'm confused for being mostly Hispanic (or other nationalities). But I don't see race in terms of culture. That makes no sense to me. I recognize my heritage (as listed above) and the cultures associated with each respective culture, and I identify as American and with the American culture. Again, I don't have a racial identity. I would actually argue that race is a socially constructed mechanism for labeling others.

    Alright then, why the Black Panthers? Why Afro-centric movements? Why a Latino culture? I remember finding a personal opinion someone had put into Wikipedia under the Harlem Renaissance that both offended me and put the answer quite clearly. Towards the end of the entry on the Harlem Renaissance it's explaining the goals of the movement, particularly in terms of the New Negro and trying to create a unique black culture that would legitimize blacks on the same level as whites of that era. The person who wrote the entry finishes it off with, "But the positive implications of American nativity have never been fully appreciated by them. It seems too simple: the African-American's history and culture is American, more completely so than most other ethnic groups within the United States."

    Because the positive implications of American nativity was blatantly clear (or not at all possibly offensive at the time) in contrast to slavery, Jim Crow South, and continual prejudice on many levels from other Americans.

    Why might the writer of that quoted statement not understand a refusal of the mainstream culture by blacks?

    I believe cultures evolve out of an isolation of specific people (whether voluntary or involuntary) and the creation of rituals, ideals, etc. out of that isolation. America has isolated blacks for years. That is why there is such a thing as a Black Culture.

    For those who want that race-blind view, that is problematic. I remember my mother bringing home an Ebony magazine one time. I tried reading the first few pages and stopped. It was too weird. As I said before, I have no racial identity. Having something have meaning out of the concept of being a person of color, as a form of identity, is just weird to me. I wouldn't fit too well into all of current black culture.

    But why do these cultures exist? Why might what is considered specific attributes to "blackness" be extolled?

    In the case of our example of blacks in America, because of previous prejudice. There would be no Black Panthers if not for prejudice.

    And (this is important to understand for those who honestly do believe in a color-blind view of humanity) we cannot simply expect blacks in America to join back into the mainstream culture. For one, they have probably been raised in a different culture most of their lives. Further, racism still exists in America (as we all well know) or, at least, institutions which continue the creation of racism do. These alternate cultures built along the lines of race came into existance due to something. Finally, harking back to the concept of representation - often the mainstream portrays blacks poorly on a consistent basis or doesn't portray them at all (and, yes, that is direly important).

    Now, I'm of one of the mainstream opinions. I believe in treating people in a color blind fashion. I believe in associating the culture of a person not with what "race" they are but simply by which culture the person says they identify with (the notion of someone of Korean ethnicity partaking entirely in Irish culture isn't as impossible as some would have us believe, especially if the person was adopted by Irish parents when they were just a baby).

    However - this is not realistic in terms of our world. Many people don't see themselves simply as people and identify heavily and strongly with concepts of "race" - for a multitude of reasons which we would do well to know. And while I would argue that the eventual goal is to see marginalized people as simply people rather than in terms of what caused them to marginalized (for example, think of how we see brunettes as people despite a characteristic which does set them apart from others), the history of the marginalized group and what it means is direly important in terms of giving the proper respect to a marginalized group - and understanding that group. In trying to view the world entirely as the same, it often erases the past of marginalized groups and that past does inform the future. A "insert group here"-blind viewing means that equal representation isn't necessary - and in this world, right now, that often means a mainstream dominated by the majority with mindsets thinking that is how the world is. And for many who probably aren't racist, sexist, sexualist, etc. they will still subconsciously think of their world in terms of the majority. I'll save you further examples; I'm sure you can think of others on your own.

    I've said twice on here before that race relations in this country were heading toward a complete train crash. I take that back now. We are so talking past each other on issues of race that we couldn't possibly hit, even if we wanted to. Everyone has these different concepts of marginalized groups, for a variety of reasons, and they only understand their own beliefs. Only once we get on the same footing of understanding can we move forward (though quite difficultly) in addressing these issues.

     

     

    ***note: you'll notice that most of this addresses race (and only in terms of black and white) and touches on sexuality while biological sex (and any other groups) isn't addressed at all. The largest reason for the large focus on race is because of the great attention it has received in our country and, therefore, the familiarity of knowledge with it by most Americans.

    This post also makes some pretty generalizing statements and those statements must be understood fluidly for marginalized groups to be fully understood (for nothing stays stagnate). For example, gays and women have less of any type of culture outside the mainstream because they have had less isolation from the majority than those of different races. Another example is that if the concept of looking at everyone as being equal and the same does eventually someday come to fruitation, these concepts will likely become obsolete or must be thought of differently. That day is far, far, far, far off - but we cannot allow our thinking and understanding of concepts to become mired.

    Also, the title is an allusion to this Xanga post: http://www.mancouch.com/716194723/race-sex-sexual-orientation-and-abortion/

  • http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0100/investigation.html

    Just when I thought I had composed a proper list, I have to add being Catholic to the reasons why I'm going to Hell! Ay, I may never figure it all out.

    The "article" is actually beyond hilarious in how rediculous it is. Do read it if you need a laugh. My favorite line was, "Pansy priests pranced around in hideous dresses, all of which were black, Satan's favorite color." Because that has everything to do with going to Hell. Or am I supposed to buy into that tripe that men are utterly "masculine" (that's like trying to define normal...) and women vice versa?

    The world amuses me.

  • A Small Request for the Unreligious

    This is half rambling thoughts (though it's meant as a direct request), so I ask you to bear slightly with me.

    If you haven't picked up on it yet, I'm Christian. Catholic, to be specific, but that's inconsequential. To be utterly brief and summational, I've always found that I got along better with those who were of different faiths or followed no religious belief at all.

    I should also quickly mention, I admit that my own experiences (hence forming my current opinions) may very well be limited. Therefore, I don't begin to assume that what I describe here is necessarily true for every said person. In fact, I tend to do that with most people I encounter in life: treat things on a very individual level.

    To be brief (again), the biggest difference between the avidly religious Christians and the latter group was the latter seemed to "think". I tend to believe in logic and reason with the same passion as the Enlightenment and that's how my mind-process functions.

    Now, I'm not trying to set up a dynamic where the more professed of a Christian you are, the more unintelligent and irrational you are. And, of course, vice versa. I would clearly have no place in that dynamic. But we do know, thanks to our psychotic, fundie Christian friends out there who seem to find it their mission to make us suffer the same idiocy which has removed their own brains, that there is a large enough sample of Christians who do make that dynamic seem plausible.

    Switching topics just briefly (I ought to make that my word for the day...), a club titled Williams' Secular Community was started just this year at my college. Excited at the idea of helping along a newly started group and that Secular thinkers (though, of course, namely aimed at atheists, agnostics, humanists, etc.) would actually get a group and space within the area of religious need was fantastic to me (at the office for religious needs, our group actually has a tag with information alongside the other religious groups on campus; it's pretty damn cool).

    I ended up missing the first meeting, unfortunately, but promptly made the second. It appears that all (to my memory) religious individuals who has attended the first meeting to see what the club was about decided not to keep attending. Which was fine. Though I was slightly anxious as to the purpose and point of the club (it was undecided in the beginning). It had been advertised majoridly as a group for atheists, and, while I felt that was certainly important, I didn't want that to be the only focus of the group. Such an intent would easily alienate any others who would wish to join. In the end, the group has been slanted towards Secular thinkers (which I easily fit the category) with a concentration towards atheists, agnostics, humanists, etc.

    Surprisingly, as I voiced my concern that second meeting, the members assured me the group was open to anyone and explained that's why they settled on the name they had. What I didn't expect, nor was it a worry (though I definitely appreciated the gesture), was an assurance that if I felt uncomfortable in the group at all to just let them know.

    Obviously, many of the jokes in the group tend to be slanted towards Christians in a general sense. However, I have been given the permission (of course, I say that entirely jokingly) to "fire back" if ever any member gets ahead of him/herself. But in a group nearly entirely of atheists/humanists with one Christian, the environment is of no surprise.

    And I know that the jokes are in light of and levied towards our psychotic friends; some of them pretty obviously so (I find creationism laughable, for example). Though I can't help but notice that, for some members, this is what Christianity means for them (largely in part because that brand of Christianity tends to get most airtime, etc. versus the less controversial or extreme Christians).

    I know that in discussing the formation of the Secular group during an Interfaith group that had started at the beginning of the year, the members of the Interfaith group felt that the use of "logic" and "thought" in the posters put up around campus implied that religious people were incapable of thought or reason. Of course, I'd like the point out that the posters were in reference to Secular thought. Religious thought may require reason to sort out, etc. but it is not in itself reason. Nor is it science. But I rest my opinions there. Let's see if I can finish this up relatively soon.

    The members did have a point though. I certainly don't believe that religious belief suddenly equals the death of free-thought or reason. Largely because religions are intensely interpretation, etc. no matter what anyone else tells you. A statement like, "Well, Christians believe..." is immediately wrong. Religion is far too varied to just shoot down as if it is a monolithic set of beliefs. In fact, most theologians, priests, rabbis, etc. I've talked to have said that their respective religious texts are not meant to necessarily be handbooks on how to live. There are further steps which are required.

    So whenever I hear certain universal statements about Christianity, I find myself wanting to object. Because, often, they're not in a Secular Community where I've been given full acceptance. They can be made by those who don't know that there are Christians out there who feel no need to make their own beliefs your beliefs. They could be made by those who are simply being general and do know there are those who think reasonably and could probably hold their respect. And there may be those who really don't give a damn either way.

    Simply, my request is this - whether because you like to take to task creationists, are simply providing pieces of evidence for discussion about the validity of a religion, or some idiot totally infringed on your privacy and couldn't let each individual belief stand, don't blame all Christians. I'm no Jerry Falwell, William Dembski, nor anyone else along that line. I understand why we hold differing views.

    I just ask that you don't forget I exist when dismantling an idea about or individual of Christianity. Call me sensitive, but I take words personally.

     

     

    **I do realize I lend a rather harsh assessment of Creationism in here. While I do think you have every right to believe in it, I strongly object to the idea of having it taught in public schools, etc. I realize you may not fall under that category but that was who the remarks were most leveled towards. I'm sorry if I've come off cruelly in this entry towards you.

  • One of the drawbacks of having a penis: when you're swinging on a swing set, it's like constantly crushing a piece of your body the entire time. So then you try to shift it, you know, so you don't flatten the poor thing. But then it's laying on top of your leg; and it's not like there isn't enough heat they're being subjected to with the stupid seat of the swing crushing your thighs together. By the end, you're stuck wishing you could simply detach and reattach your reproductive order whenever you wish. That would be sweet. And very difficult.

    I honestly do have to wonder how I end up with so large a group of the female sex for friends. For this time period, you'd think otherwise.

    Which reminds me of Sophomore year, as a Freshman Lilia openly adjusted her bra and, I think, complained about her period. Oddly enough, she decides to remark that she really shouldn't be telling me this stuff later. To which I must react - why? Like I don't know you're wearing a bra. Or that you have a period. It's like we give such minuscule stuff a feeling that we shouldn't be talking or sharing it. One of my favorite things about the Ancient Greeks was their public bathrooms.

    Just a slew of connected toilets with no walls between them. And they just sat their and, as they did their universal business, discussed whatever a normal conversation would cover. Fantastic! No worries about embarrassment over non-embarressing stuff. But really, the more pressing and important question of this matter was why I didn't try to do more with a girl so open about her bra. The possibilities were probably endless. But, for another day.

    However, the topic does bring us to another topic. Ever been somewhere with your parents and there's a group that's somewhere near in the social setting? And, of course, mom or dad mentions something like, "Can't those kids sit still?" or "Why are they so loud?" And, of course, you can't help but think both statements are ridiculous. But, more so, it goes back to that basic tenement of whatever pleases and makes you happy to a tee isn't necessarily what you ought to expect. There are others in this world. Actually think of them (father dearest, start taking notes). I guess when people act out, or against what's "publically/socially acceptable", I always want to object, "So?" If someone's happy - cherish that. For the sake of God, cherish that. For a world stricken by lies, two-faced...ness, cheating, depression, lack of proper self-esteem, betrayal, physical parental abuse - and the many, many et cetera, this person is happy. Geez, let them have that! I honestly think, if you don't just live at least once in your life - what's the point? Take a risk, make a fool of yourself, cuss pointlessly, sing to yourself in public (I apparently wasn't loud enough to get odd glances at the park today), play the penis game in a public sphere, just do something that reminds others how badly we construct expectations that have no real (logically held-up) reason for being followed. So, okay, yeah, they're being loud and disrupting others just a bit. They're also 14. And have more screwed up domestic issues than you want to sift through. Let 'em be...not like they're harming anyone or being immoral. Let them have the moment.

    I rediscovered why I loved Metallica again today. I dunno if it's just because I grew up to it, am just used to it, or whatever, but I love the full sound of an electric guitar. Amazing instrument.

    Yeah...trust I seek
        and I find in you
    Everyday for us something new...
    Open mind for a different view
    And nothing else matters
    (-Metallica)

    There was some seemingly unrealated rant I was going to go with that...Sabbath, anyone?

    I wonder if I have to serve Sunday Mass this week. Probably. I usually do. Williams' Secular Community party on Saturday. Plus all my homework. And Work. Should be fun....

    Hmm, yeah...totally can't think of what else I was going to say. Which is odd, because I could've sworn...huh. Definitely one of my more...free-form flowing thought...like entries. I'm usually not this flitty. Random topics FTW, I suppose.

    Oh, do you believe in Rock 'n' Roll?
    Can music save your immortal soul?
    And can you teach me how to dance...real slow?
    -Don McLean

    Heh, I'm such a product of the suburbs...