Bruce'Springsteen

  • Every day ends in wasted motion
    Just crossed swords on the killing floor
    To settle back is to settle without knowing
    The hard edge that you're settlin' for...

    'Cause there's always just one more day
    And it's always gonna be that way
    Little girl, you've been down here so long
    I can tell by the way that you move you belong to the

    Jackson Cage
    Down in the Jackson Cage
    And it don't matter – just what – you say
    Are you tough enough to play – the game – they play
    Or will you just do your time and fade away,
    Down into the Jackson Cage
    --Bruce Springsteen

  • Heeeeey, little girl, is your daddy home?
    Did he go away and leave you all alone?
    Mmhmmm, I gotta bad desire...
    Oh-ohh-ohhh, I'm on fire...

    Tell me now, baby, is he good to you?
    Can he do to you the things I can do
    Oh, no...I can take you higher...
    Oh-ohh-ohhh, I'm on fire...

     

     

     

     

    Sometimes it's like someone took a knife,
    baby, edgy and dull,
    and cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my skull...

    At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
    And a freight train running through the middle of my head
    Only you...can cool my desire...
    Oh-ohh-ohhh, I'm on fire...

    -Bruce Springsteen

  • I said on here once, a year or more back, that one of my all-time top songs was "Trouble In Paradise" by Bruce Springsteen. I then proceeded to post the lyrics and left it at that.

    So, I guess just because it's late and this song is literally festering itself into my veins and also because I usually never do a post that really opens up about me except rarely (or one of my very often vague or difficult-to-articulate complaints about depression), I'll explain it a bit more.

    I guess, principally, it's like many of the other things I adore - it's a conglomerate mess of contradictions (or, more specifically in its case, unexpectations) that shouldn't work and yet do, plus it's utterly just joyful in the pleasure it provides.

    First and foremost, as the title "Trouble In Paradise" seems to imply, it's not the most uplifting song. However, if you weren't paying attention, you would think quite the opposite. The music, while simplistic, is utterly infectious. It just sounds utterly quaint and upbeat. It's the type of song I'd put on if I were languidly cleaning or cooking something in the kitchen - and enjoying every minute of it. It's just bouncy and pleasant. Really, it has the same effect that "Frankie" does (which, honestly, is really difficult to describe unless you listen to it), though Frankie has a bit more of a complicated arrangement.

    And I suppose that's what adds to my liking it. I have a thing for quaint and small (metaphorically/symbolically (as in lowered expectations for art) or literally) things which literally have no flaw. For example, an EP which only has 7 tracks and every track is great musically and maybe brings you a little into a new world. It's not perfect: first and foremost, it doesn't try to be the utter best it can be. Yet it has no actual detractions. You can't say the music is bad, even if it's not better than it is. There are some interesting themes, even if they aren't explored completely or aren't expansive enough. It's quaint.

    The issue I have? I've become very picky and demanding in my art. I will certainly enjoy the piece. But it's not something I can show someone to fully experience the true power of art. If we're looking and aiming for the best - well, it's not it. It's the difference between the breath-taking experience of Reasonable Doubt vs. Straight From the Lab EP. So, I'm immediately pulled to the song. And that's another one of the wonderful contradictions I love about "Trouble In Paradise" - it's deceptively simple. Sure, the instrumentation (very much) is. But the themes (and, if you couldn't tell by now, the emotions it can evoke) aren't.

    So, while the song sounds catchily upbeat...well, the first bar and a half starts with:

     

    You do the drying
         I'll do the dishes...
    Who'll do the crying when all them wishes don't come true?

     

    Uplifting, yes? The song deals with relationships and the responsibilities therein. Yet, the lyrics are just as simplistic and quaint as the music as well as delightfully abstract. As you might glean from the bar and a half above, it starts with washing and drying dishes...and then talking about crying over unfulfilledwishes??? Yes, honey, I know I promised you a new washing machine, but we just can't afford one yet (because all wives want new home devices for doing chores at home - all women; silly feminists).

    No, rather the chores and jobs littered throughout the song ("You do the washing/I'll do the folding"/"You did the dusting/I did the sweeping") stand for basic jobs that might occur throughout a relationship (caring for the other person, being receptive, doing favors for them, etc.). Likewise, a series of similarly abstract disasters occur throughout the song:

     

    You do the washing
         I'll do the folding
    Whose heart is breaking when whose arms are holding someone new?

    Sittin' on a peaceful lakeside
    Didn't hear the roar of the waterfall come in
    When it's all a storybook story
    When it's all so easy and nice

    Here comes Trouble in Paradise

    [...]

    You did the driving - oh, and I did the sleeping a little too long

    On a picnic 'neath a sky so blue
    We didn't see the rain and heartache coming through
    When it's all a black and white movie
    And you're sure you've seen the ending twice

    Here comes Trouble in Paradise

     

    I just love the imagery. I remember, back in probably around middle school (kinda weird thinking it's actually been that long since I read it), I read this book. I would actually like to re-read it, if I ever I remembered what it's called. But, towards the end of it, in trying to convince this boy to come out and be social (his brother abused him for the longest time), she remarks that the movie is an old black-and-white where everything turns out alright in the end and life is good.

    And it's such a great symbol, in that light. Everything was fine and dandy, right? Just go on auto-pilot, fall into comfortable routines and things will proceed just fine? But no...you were sleeping too long, imbuing neglect. And the rain came down in showers. The language is, in essence, very simplistic - but I just love that vivid second to last stanza above.  It evokes such images and emotion.

    And, speaking of, Bruce once again demonstrates his ability to nail a performance just right, in a way that really aids in how you see the song. In as close to literal as the song every gets, he delivers perfectly:

     

    You said everything was fine
         I'm sorry, baby, I didn't see the signs
    Oh, so beautifully you read the lines...
    In a play where the hero has no vice
    And love comes without a price

    So does Trouble in Paradise

     

    That second line - it's like the line "I'm a thief in the house of love and I can't be trusted!" in "Roll of the Dice". It's delivered so perfectly, capturing the frustration and desperation as well as the regret all together, and then followed by the next line in regretful defeat.

    It's all so beautifully descriptive, so that even the abstract way of telling it adds to the message it's trying to convey, in how it tells us how easily "all of love's glory and beauty/Can vanish before you think twice" from forgetting that basic notion of any relationship - it's give and take. There are certain obligations when it comes to caring and leaving the mess cleanup for the other guy (metaphorically speaking), whether intentional or accidental, obviously isn't going to leave him or her feeling satisfied or cared about. Even that simple title does the excellent job of getting to the emotional root of it all - Trouble in Paradise.

    It's really a great song and I won't ruminate on the rest of the lyrics so you can enjoy them yourself.

  • Johnny was sittin' on the fire escape watchin' the kids playin' down the street
    He called down, "Hey little heroes:
    Summer's long but I guess it ain't very sweet around here anymore"
    Janey sleeps in sheets damp with sweat,
         Johnny sits up alone and watches her dream on, dream on
    And the sister prays for lost souls, then breaks down in the chapel after everyone's gone...

  • **The tales contained herein are recalled in a most frivolous nature, taking delight to a point of frivolous self-consciousness (one might say). All events are true, though their details and perspective are confirmed at only the most subjective level, I might suppose.

    In order to impose on the cavern walls of ancient time and memory these limited events of delectation, I take upon myself now the work of transcribing the events which Williams Secular Community engaged upon at Stone Hill so they will not leave my brain so shortly after the event occurred. During the course of the regular hours for college students, many laughs were had along with a bonding transcending the inner connections of the average student club or even that of common friendship so that many joyful, Godless times were had (as well as uncoördinated, multi-tempo, and off-key singing with no abandon to the night sky).

    Having conceived of nature-involved events for the WSC (Williams Secular Community) in order to more appreciate nature and foster more community sometime last year, the WSC called out for recruitment to a camping trip upon Stone Hill. A fire, s'mores, and singing (regardless if anyone could find a guitar) was to take place. How could any refuse?

    Taking up the call, Greg, April, Nick, Jonathan (myself), Margaret, Antal, and Kim decided to venture forth into this night in the wilderness (or the mostly treeless, pasture-like area just outside the wilderness; it's really exactly the same thing, when you think about it).

    Meeting in Baxter Hall to gather forces, the group convened, decked with sleeping bags/pads, a pillow, tarps, and the joys of chocolate, graham crackers, and marshmallows. From there, they headed out on their journey.

    Missing one of their members (he purported to be sick, a dubious claim that the group just could not accept), they descended upon the stony buildings of Greylock Quad to make plea to his better sources of reason. However, they found his room apparently vacant (or he was hiding and pretending to be gone) so the group graciously signed with their signatures to the sign on his door for a non-pressuring ultimatum that he must join the festivities (except for the apparent confusion of Kim, who wrote "Yeah, idk...").

    It was then to Stone Hill!

    The group made their way to their destination, engaging in the casual chitchat of a most prestigious nature (delighting in personal tales recounting the glory of surviving sleep deprivation and the successful victory in the foray of a written paper, current events on campus, opinions about certain art courses and the way that art majors and non-majors function in that, just how willing the drivers of the area were willing to obey the law that cars must stop for pedestrians that late at night, as well as returning to the ever familiar computer science (which actually occurred at an all-time low for the group, during that walk)).

    As they reached the hill, the talking dwindled as they made their ascent (I imagine the suddenly very audible and measured breathing might be some indication to a reason why, but I wouldn't personally begin to know).

    And then, at least, they had reached it! Quite excited, the group staked out the place to make a fire and began searching for wood to burn. At this point, the continued references to personal sticks and wood only got light chuckles from portions of the group at sporadic times.

    Having gathered their firewood, Nick took great care to assemble the sticks into the shape of a circular pyramid. Soon, a wonderful fire had been started and the marshmallows were broken out. Naturally, a discussion arose (it's the nature of the group, really) about how much to cook marshmallows. The range consisted from lightly browned to Kim who seemed to enjoy the clearly audible crunching noise that was made when a bite was made into the marshmallow.

    As this treat of the gods (that most of the group doesn't believe in) was devoured, it was discovered that Symphony Hershey bars were also present, which a member of the group informed could only properly be described as "really gourmet shit". It was then decided that the group must one day approach the dining services in Paresky during a mealtime and let them know that the current menu options were not up to par and so could they up the ante and bring out their gourmet shit.

    At this time, or somewhat a bit before, Kim informed the group that she must then take this moment to leave. Greatly saddened, the group bid her farewell.

    Then after, the neighboring group decided to go streaking. This valiant attempt was rendered moot due to the fact that the night made seeing anything beyond the fire virtually impossible. One of the streakers, however, was kind enough to take this into consideration and decided to leap over the flame of the fire whilst being naked. As they rescinded back to their camp, Nick said goodbye to one of the people he recognized.

    By this time (whether this was aided by the appearance of the streakers is up for question), the number of wood and stick references had increased with prolonged laughing, taking not of which woods were still or wet. Finally, perilously breaking the silence, Margaret jumped to the heart of the matter and uttered the word penis for the rest of the group.

    Directly talking about the issue now liberated to onto the table, the group (nostalgic as ever) decided to partake in the penis game. Bringing joy and mirth (with a very brief wonder as to what the other two groups might be thinking of the members' past times), the fire had (sadly) begun to dwindle.

    Thus began the continued task throughout the night to keep the fire burning despite its suicidal wishes.

    Having had their fun of s'mores, the group decided it really needed to sing. However, there were no musical instruments of any kind, other than their beautiful and angelic voices. Well, acoustic guitars be damned, they were going to do it.

    Accurately describing their generation, they kicked it off with "The Campfire Song Song" and then "The F. U. N. Song". This quickly became a need for singing the Pokémon theme song (the original, of course) in loud, impassioned, and monolithic voices, a feat they only closely replicated again with Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl".

    This quickly descended into a slew of songs that were sung, not all of which were coherent. Necessary ones included "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey, "Piano Man" by Billy Joel, the chorus of "Living On a Prayer" by Bon Jovi, and "Teenage Wasteland" by The Who.

    Just due to its fitting nature, "Losing My Religion" by R. E. M. was also played. A quick pole of the group quickly found that many there hadn't lost religion, seeing as they didn't have it originally to begin with. Mistakenly, I was included in that group to which I corrected, saying, "I had, for a time," to which Greg responded, "Well, we're working on that," (one of my favorite lines of the night, I must say).

    Greg also officially made himself my hero for life by suggesting we sing Bruce Springsteen. Few others knew the words, I think, but I enjoyed the chance to confidently belt a song in a group for once.

    Also, at some point the idea was brought up to gangster rap "The F. U. N. Song" – how or why is beyond me, though.

    Having rejoiced greatly thus far in group singing at the expense of sleeping groups and woodland creatures, the group put on a song that inspired them to sway together as a group. This evolved into an idea for a group hug and April was involuntarily thrust into the middle of a giant group bear hug.

    After tiring the vocal cords, the group resolved to just listen to the music, dancing together (best dance party on campus, you know) and rocking out. This inspired Margaret to spin, which the rest of the group promptly joined. Dizzy and feeling like kids again (because all the other previous activities just didn't quite solidly do that yet), they decided to spin in pairs. Once again with group ideas, they attempted to spin as a group, holding hands; this bad idea one just has to do anyway for the sake of experience provoked laughing and giggling exclamations of strain as the circle hung on to each other's hands to prevent falling apart.

    Having fallen on top of each other, the next idea was born – lying on one another's stomachs in a circle. Having accomplished this feat, the group laid there on top of each other staring up at the stars while listening to The Beatles.

    After an hour and a half of thoroughly breaking down physical boundaries amongst the group, they resolved that maybe sleep might be a somewhat wise decision (despite the opinion of the ever nocturnal Antal).

    Taking to the sleeping bags, they decided to once again get in a circular formation and lie on one another's bellies. However, as exhaustion finally (at 4 or 5 something in the morning) came upon them, they realized it wouldn't work quite so well. So they gathered around the pillow that I had brought and communally shared it (the looking-into-eventually-starting-your-own-private-commune for the group will be started tomorrow).

    As the morning came, they sighed contently with their experience as they prepared to finally descend Stone Hill.

    And with that, I must leave you all – Comp. Sci. BBQ is calling me.

  • I get up in the evening...
         and I ain't got nothing to say
    I come home in the morning
         I go to bed...feeling...the same way
    I ain't nothing but tired
        man, I'm just tired and bored with myself
    Hey there baby...
        I could use just a little help
     
    You can't start a fire
    You can't start a fire without a spark
    This gun's for hire...
         even if we're just dancing in the dark

    Messages keeps getting clearer
         radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place
    I check myself out in the mirror
         I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face!
    Man, I ain't getting nowhere
         I'm just sitting in a dump like this
    There's something happening somewhere...
         baby, I just know that there is

    You can't start a fire
    You can't start a fire without a spark
    This gun's for hire...
         even if we're just dancing in the dark 

    You sit around getting older!
         (there's a joke here, somewhere, and it's on me)
    I'll shake this world off my shoulders
         (come, baby, the laugh's on me)
    Stay on the streets of this town -
         and they'll be carving you up alright
    They say you got to stay hungry
         hey, baby, I'm just about starving tonight!
    I'm dying for some action...
         I'm sick of sitting 'round here trying to write this book
    I need a love reaction
         come on now, baby, give me just one look

    You can't start a fire
    Sitting 'round, crying over a broken heart
    This gun's for hire...
         even if we're just dancing in the dark

    You can't start a fire
    Worrying 'bout your little world falling apart
    This gun's for hire...
         even if we're just dancing in the dark

    even if we're just dancing in the dark...

    even if we're just dancing in the dark...

    even if we're just dancing in the dark...

    Heeeey, baby! Hmmmhmmhmmm....

  • I watched District 9 a couple of days ago. While I had very high expectations for it...I was disappointed. I was actually surprised how much so. I was going to write in detail about it, but I'm tired and have already done so on Facebook. Therefore (while I still do love you all), I'm simply going to quote what I wrote on Facebook:

    First, I agree entirely with you, A-----, that the special effects and acting were phenominal. And I loved the documentary style and how they did it, maybe because it was just so different from normal movies.

    Second, my complaint actually wasn't that it wasn't happy. I like the depressing, the warped, etc. The aliens got away, anyway - to me, that's a happy ending (at least partially).

    R------ - the basic plot of the movie is that a alien mother ship stops over a part of South Africa and is unable to move further on. Eventually, the government drills into the ship to find millions of starving aliens aboard.

    The government builds a bunch of low income housing and the place easily turns into a ghetto. Poverty, crime, et cætera. People stereotype the aliens, assume they want to kill humans for the fun of it, ban them from different establishments (there are signs reading Humans Only), et cætera.

    The idea is that it's supposed to be an allegory for apartheid South Africa (or, at the very least, racism or marginalized group descrimination).

    Here's my complaint. While, yes, it opperates quite well like a regular action flick (actually, too much so; without the advanced concepts, it's strickingly like a formulaic action movie) and has the basic concept of this allegory of suffering and prejudice, let's shed the allegory for a bit and actually look at the aliens as a suspect class and marginalized group.

    While some parts are *perfect* (like the woman commenting about how the aliens will take over a buisness and kill everyone while, in the background, an alien is digging through the garbage for food), there's the aspect that nearly ALL the whites in the movie are in position of power, all the blacks (except a select few) are in positions of poverty, gangs, etc.

    Well, this is just accuracy of current South Africa (caused by apartheid) - fine. But that means different levels of damage against marginalized groups (the descrimination and isolation of the aliens) and the results of the above on sociol-economic issues for blacks. This isn't addressed. Rather, all humans are treated in a color-blind fashion (despite the obvious racial division throughout the movie) and the aliens are thought of sadly only because of the actions taken against them by the humans. The movie could have probed these different levels and effects of descrimination through these different levels - but it doesn't.

    My second complaint was the blatant descrimination toward the alien within the movie itself.

    First off, Wikus is pretty much an abhorrent character at the beginning. On top of clearly being xenophobic, he happily massacres tons of babies, and he's a spineless twat.

    Of course, that's just the beginning. And I like the concept of giving us a character like that to see his development. I actually really like that concept.

    Here's the problem though - he doesn't really adequately change. The worst part is when he decides to steal Christopher's ship and doesn't bother to even flinch when he hears the poor guy being beaten above him as his son looks up, asking "Father?". In fact, as the boy then looks toward Wikus in fear, Wikus just lies to the kid and says it'll be alright. I mean, how do you do that and live with yourself?

    And THEN, after crashing the only means that Christopher has to get home, he has the audacity to try to fun away when he's in a full metal body suit and could have easily saved Christopher when he's, once again, getting the living shit beat out of him.

    And then there's the fantastic aspect that Wikus continues, way until the end of the movie, to refer to Christopher as a Prawn, a term already clearly defined and well known to be derogitory towards the group. If we are to use the allegory of an apartheid South Africa, the aliens can be thought of as blacks. It's essentially like calling them niggers the whole movie through.

    The issue with this slow and rediculous character development for Wikus is...he's the main character and he's gets so much focus it's rediculous. I mean, it's one thing to have the plot like this but then we focused on Christopher. But, no, it's pretty clear our sympathies are meant to go towards Wikus.

    Christopher is the one who's been isolated in South Africa, has his people shot with no issue, has them starved and cheated in this ghetto - and we're focusing on Wikus.

    I mean, there wasn't even much sympathy given towards Christopher. In the scene that *should* have been really powerful (when he finds the room where they're expirimenting on his people) - the damn camera stays on Wikus most of the time! I mean, is it human-centrism? I don't get it. Regardless, for a movie trying to point out the cruelties of one to another, it's a pretty bad slap to the face to focus on the human so singularly when the cruelties are happen ten-fold to the other species.

    Basically, District 9 had amazing potential. They could have really probed the different levels of descrimination in a really creative way, as I mentioned above. Rather, they just ignored it.

    Then they could have *at least* given attention to the plight of the aliens. There are racist movies from the 90s with a black and white main characters thatare more sympathetic and better at highlighting the marginalized character as a multi-dimentional character than District 9 was.

    Sorry; I was really disappointed.

     

    I think I'm going to do an album review of Darkness On the Edge of Town. Music makes me happy and an album review would require me to submerge myself in the album for a while in order to do a proper review. Plus I actually want to go through old Bruce stuff that I've listened to for ages but never given a critical eye to. It also lets me probe and explore this music I love in more depth.

    In other news, I have to write a 10 page paper for my Atheism class by Thurs. While it's a topic I actually will enjoy (arguing that religion is not the cause for evil but often the tool used by others to cause evil)...I don't want to write a 10 page paper (that's longer than anything I had to write for last semester, with my 4 English courses. Then again, had I not been given caps on pages, I could have easily hit 10). Plus it means doing research for it.

    Alright, it probably won't be that difficult, but I feel lethargic. Heh, and second semester is coming up. Joys and yays.

  • I guess I should have an actual entry by now? It's been a bit of a while. Then again, my xanga has been more just my thoughts than an actual journal of my days. On the other hand...I haven't really given you guys much of actual entries as of late (either that or I'm just exercising my excellent inability to estimate time). So, for those who actually read this still, if any, what I've been up to as of late:

     

    It's currently Winter Study, which means three weeks of one class chosen before Winter Break. I decided to take Atheism in part out of interest and in part because I thought a decent amount of the Williams Secular Community would sign up as well. Well...not exactly. A Freshman who attended some meetings at the beginning of the year and someone who had been abroad the past semester, so - at first - I thought that I knew no one in the class.

    It's interesting. The class is basically entirely discussion based. We do some assigned reading the night before and then discuss the points made in them, which often unravels into many other related topics.

    As for class makeup, there's 8 atheists, a Christian who's in Williams Christian Fellowship, and myself (Roman Catholic, born and raised (the raised part is a joke)). Andy is, I think, Evangelical, but he's ever so slightly more liberal in his theology (believes in evolution without discrediting the notion of a relative creation story). It adds an interesting element to the discussions.

    I haven't revealed my own religious convictions to the group yet but that's largely because I don't want to commit myself to anything when I'm wrestling and weighing different types of arguments as much as because I like to play with expectations and it's easier to play the Devil's advocate when your identity is ambiguous (and, I suppose, passing has just become second nature to me by now).

    However, Andy (the Christian of the group) did happen to catch me outside of class when my crucifix was outside my shirt, so he was happy to find a fellow Christian in the class. In a situation that seemed so ironic it just has to be beautiful, it soon became clear that not all our same tenets aligned as I disagreed with him on what tends to be, regardless of sect, something most Christians believe in - whether belief in God is necessary for entry into Heaven. Neither of us left the conversation persuaded by the other, but I absolutely loved the conversation regardless.

    It's an interesting class and I'm really enjoying it, though disliking the 10 page paper due at the end. Plus only 2 weeks left of Winter Study....

    As most of my friends know by now, I sprained my wrist playing broomball with the Marching Band. We won the game (quite beautifully with 3 or 2 to 0), though. It seems to be on the mend, which shocks me because it's only been 48 hours and I've been expecting at least a week for recovery. This, of course, doesn't discourage my general motto towards my body that if I let it take care of itself, it'll mend any sort of pain, disease, or cut on its own without any assistance.

    Speaking of which, staying over Chelsea's dorm for the night to watch Tinman (sci. fi. version of The Wizard of Oz (she knows me too well...). Apparently the same person's also made a sci. fi. version of Alice In Wonderland) while Chels was sick turned into me catching whatever she had. I woke up this morning with the worst throat ache I've ever had. Taking my temperature confirmed also that I had a slight fever. It being 7:48 in the morning, I didn't want to deal with it and went back to sleep. By 2 today, the throat pain was barely noticeable anymore and (I assume) my temperature has returned to normal.

     

    The less pleasant portion of this story started at lunch (though flared up partially yesterday). I was just sitting there and, well, I just wanted to curl up right there. It's odd to explain. It's like you want to be alone yet hate it, wanting to do something but all that ends up being is just rocking back and forth. It often happens when I just leave the presence of other people. The thing is, you can't really tell when it's gonna come. I'm pretty sure it's a result of depression - I mean, what else am I going to blame random, out-of-the-blue, tormenting, unsettling feelings on? While I can generally expect a downer after having a great time, it also seems to go in cycles. Combined, this can throw off expectation. The other possibility is that I'm just losing control more as time goes on. The depression (as it goes untreated) could be getting worse. I have a distinct feeling I'm going to suffer a panic attack someday soon, which will be a clear sign things have gone very, very differently. Then again, I've been talking about me losing control on things I once had since Sophomore year of high school, so who knows. I have to admit, there'd be a bit of comedy (that I couldn't well enough just ignore) if I avoided suicide those many times just to lose control of myself by wearing out depression.

    But now I'm just being a downer. They say that there's two parts to therapy - changing the way you think, see things, et cætera, and the chemicals. Well, I know my shit is chemically based by now. Again, such mood swings that are so disturbingly strong are not normal. It's the changing the way I think part that bothers me. For one, I'm pretty sure my thought process and certain ideas and opinions (in relation to depression) are formed by the mental disorder itself. If I can be happy, the depressing is generally miles from my brain (though that might be a polarized effect - when I'm happy, I'm just happy and I'm over the top with it, a result of the fact that when I'm neutral I'm slightly depressed and "tainted" and then everything else from there is just worse; but I may be generalizing so don't take this as necessarily fact).

    However - as I've said many, many times - there's a great beauty to the sad, the depressing. I still stand by my belief that pain makes the most beautiful people. To me, we can be breathtaking in anguish. And we cannot forget the amazing delicacy and beauty in recovery. To be allowed past those walls others construct is humbling when we remember just what it means to be allowed to enter those places of another person.

    In many other innumerable ways, I find the depressing to be intensely amazing. Sure, too much of such a thing hurts (I've gone over this perilous system a million times in the past, no need for repetition). So, I'll pass on the therapy. Just give me something to fix this imbalance. I suppose it's void, however, since I'm likely never to seek treatment. Once you get past that hump around Sophomore to Junior year (those with this know what I'm talking about), it's easy to deal with for the most part there on out.

     

    Gah, I'd really like to be in bed now...it's 4:43. So, while I was running to grab food as quick as I could for dinner, I stopped by the grill for pizza (bad choice, but oh well). As I was sitting, eating, this guy (I think) was looking at me. I just remember I made eye contact, it seemed I might know him, so I nodded as acknowledgement just in case. He nodded back and said, "They're not that bad." He was regarding my Black Sabbath t-shirt. "I've been getting into them lately, listening off of YouTube, you know; they're pretty good. I like Paranoid, and Sabbath Bloody Sabbath." Admittedly, it sounded so damn weird the way he said it, like they were a new band or something. But perhaps I'm biased, since I happen to think that Black Sabbath happens to sound downright Godly.

    Now, I'm absolutely awkward socially and this is the most apparent in people I don't know extremely well. So, I nod, say that's cool, keep nodding, not sure what else to say. He nods, then kinda turns away and waves his hand in a dismissive fashion while saying, "Yeah." It basically looked like he wasn't sure what to say as well and then decided that that's all he could say and was confirming that this was, indeed, a good moment to just stop talking. Totally fair enough.

    Then, for a split second, I think, "Wait, was he trying to hit on me?" Now, such random questions tend to pop into my head regularly, largely because I question everything (regardless if it deserves such skepticism or not) anyway. I generally dismiss such thoughts, as I did. But then I saw the guy talking to another guy I recognized who I know is gay but not really involved in the gay/Trans community on campus and not really with much of a gay identity.

    So...maybe I wasn't so off after all. Which then makes his shyness just plain cute (but I'm a romantic, so I find any sort of stuff such as this by anyone as cute). He should've just gone for it; you might get a no, but you never know unless you try (alright, I realize I'm a downright hypocrite for saying this, but I'm trying to do better).

    I got up to leave shortly afterwards but then The River by Springsteen came on, and I just froze where I was. I have to wonder if it's just nostalgia that makes me so affected by his songs. I literally just stopped. Then again, I was also still tripping off of these odd depression emotions (and drinking soda, laced with sugar, probably helped nothing). In any case, I ended up staying until the song finished.

     

    Now I sleep!

  • I don't know why I'm posting this; I'm actually better than I've been in a long while. But I feel the need to; one of my all time favorites.

    For you, Ale_x_a, if you so need it.

     

    [Harmonica solo]

    On a rattlesnack speedway in the Utah desert:
    I pick up my money and head back into town
    Driving 'cross the Waynesboro county line
    I got the radio on, and I'm just killing time

    Working all day in my daddy's garage
    Driving all night...chasing some mirage...
    Well, pretty soon, little girl, I'm gonna take charge –

    The dogs on Main Street howl – 'cause they understand
    If I could take – one moment – into my hands
    Mister, I ain't a boy – no, I'm a man
    And I – believe in the Promised Land

    I done my best to live the right way:
    I get up every morning and go to work each day
    But your eyes go blind – and your blood runs cold
    Sometimes I feel so weak, I just wanna explode

    Explode – and tear this whole town apart
    Take -- knife – and cut this pain from my heart
    Find somebody ichin' for something to start...

    Well, the dogs on Main Street howl – 'cause they understand
    If I could reach – one moment – into my hands
    Mister, I ain't a boy – no, I'm a man
    And I – believe in the Promised Land

    Mmhmm...
         hmmhmmmhmmmmmm...[etc.]

    [guitar solo]

    [Saxophone solo]

    [Harmonica]

    Well, there's a dark cloud rising from the desert floor
    I packed my bags, and I'm headin' straight into the storm
    Gonna be a twister to blow everything down
    I ain't got – the faith – to stand its ground

    Blow Away! the dreams that tear you apart
    Blow Away! the dreams...that break your heart...
    Blow Away! the lies – that leave you nothin' - but lost...and broken hearted...

    Well, the dogs on Main Street howl – 'cause they understand
    If I could take – one moment – into my hands
    Mister, I ain't a boy – no, I'm a man
    And I – believe in the Promised Land
    And I believe in a Promised Land
    And I believe in a Promised Land

  • Alright, I'm going to do my review of Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run now because I said that I would, I haven't updated in ages, and Bruce always makes me happy (no matter what – ignore the slightly obsessive tone of that...).

    I'd say that the first thing you would have to know when approaching this is that, around this time, Bruce was known to romanticize a lot of his characters. He'd often focus on the down and out, misunderstood characters and celebrate them. Perfect example would be "Zero and Blind Terry". Terry falls in love with Zero, who is the leader of a gang. Terry's father dislikes this, knowing that Zero is a "child, a thief, and a liar". He sends troopers to hunt down Zero and bring Terry back. At the end of it, as time passes, Zero and Terry become the stuff of legends:

     

    Well now some folks say Zero and Terry got away
    Other said they were caught and brought back
    But still young pilgrims to this day
    Go to that spot way down by the railroad track
    Where the Troopers met the Pythons
    Old timers cry on a hot August night
    If you look hard enough, if you try
    You'll catch Zero and Terry and all the Pythons

    Oh just hiking them streets of the sky
    Just walkin', hiking the streets of the sky
    Just hiking the streets of the sky
    Hey Zero!...

     

    The album preceding Born to RunThe Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle – is beautifully chocked full of that stuff. It's a phenomenal album, by the way. While often tinged with sadness, and certainly a sense of persecution, the general ending was rather upbeat and hopeful. Probably due to the need to actually do a hit album this time around (or be dropped from his record label), Born to Run lives up to its name – again, it's those outcast characters, but this time there's a sense that they must get out. They're running – from fears, to hope, to safety, et cætera. In terms of concept, this is followed by the next album, Darkness On the Edge of Town, where the questionable heroes succumb, rather awfully, to their own vices. That one's a gloriously dark album.

    However (going back to Born to Run), the lyrics, for me, is what makes this album absolutely delectable. It sounds very, very upbeat (for most of the songs). Yet the lyrics are some of the most frantic, desperate, and borderline reckless I've heard.

    Finally – the music. This is absolutely gorgeous in terms of composition. I remember reading somewhere that a critic was noting Bruce turning to traditional song structure at the turn of Darkness On the Edge of Town. And I had never simply recognized that before (maybe because I basically grew up on this stuff). For the most part, traditional song structure is abandoned. Both "Thunder Road" and "Born to Run" are just a beautiful bombardment of melodies and harmonies that you can't initially keep up with everything that's going on. Plus it largely consists of piano (most of the album is piano, given that it was first written for composition on the piano with the other instruments added later), guitar, and saxophone. It's utterly gorgeous. It's actually a shame I can't do more service to the music in description, for it deserves as much scrutiny as the lyrics. Acknowledging my own short coming, just trust it never disappoints.

    And that's when the album becomes dubious. On one hand, it's a Bruce album. That means that the lyrics can be utterly mind-blowing. Thus, I'm expecting them to be. I want to be amazed, poetically moved, emotionally shaken, et cætera. However, not all of the songs necessarily live up to this, lyrically. Musically, they're fantastic (like the whole of the album), which means they're alright songs. But in comparison to other songs on the album, they're less than we could get. Yet, on the other hand, they're consistent with the whole of the album. And that's something that I've really tried to keep in mind more with music. Yeah, the songs are all nice – but how does it all work as an album? And, in that sense, the album totally works together, painting a wholistic picture that even the lesser songs help to fill in.

    With all that said, onto the songs of this delightful album.

    Thunder Road – 5 stars
    And here's my first problem, right in the first song. For one, the lyrics are killer here. As this blogger said, "Actually you can close your eyes, put your finger down on the lyric sheet of “Thunder Road,” and you’d probably land on a line that has resonated through rock and roll history."

     

    Screen door slams, Mary's dress sways
    Like a vision she dances across the floor as the radio plays

     

    A tale of admiration, hope for romance when it's never guaranteed, and a desperation to cut loose from all the bullshit – everything which is holding you down or you were told you couldn't have – makes this song the definitive song for a dreamer.

    And, really, what a perfect way to start off the album. As he asks Mary to take his hand, trust him despite all the possible doubts that can arise, he's asking us to venture with him. Enter this world, enter these possibilities. It's not even just asking that dangerous question of whether to enter into a relationship, ripe with the chance that they might "turn me home again/[because] I just can't face myself alone again." It's that followed up demand that we have a right to what everyone else seems to have a right to. These characters are the outsiders, the outcasts. Whatever Thunder Road is, whether it's success in rock 'n' roll to finally get financial success and support or just means reaching happiness finally, a family, support, it's being daring enough to say you can have it after it being so elusive for so long.

    Again to indirectly quote the blogger, there's a reason why they have to "case" Thunder Road. They can't just go to it, they have to steal it. Yet by the time the chorus rises up, in the midst of that, "Oh, oh, come take my hand/We're riding out tonight – to case the Promised Land/Oh, oh, oh, oh! Thunder Road! Oh, Thunder Road!" you know that's it. Despite the worries of your dreams, despite that fact that it's "lying out there like a killer in the sun/Hell, [you] know it's late but we can make it if we run". Shit, who cares about the worries, the odds - this is it! This is our chance, our moment. Don't let it get away.

    Honestly, the lyrics of this thing are amazing, just drawing you in while barely letting you go. Once again repeating the blogger, the specificity of the lyrics leaves you with something that could move you without the music. The car, their access of getting out of town and escaping, is the only redemption they have left (Now I'm no hero, that's understood/All the redemption I can offer, girl, is beneath this dirty hood), again tying in with that concept of having to case the Promised Land. Yet this redemption isn't given and passed down by God. They don't meet that "Heaven waiting down on the tracks" by being granted. It's up to them. Again echoed through every level of the song, this is repeated once more to Mary, acknowledging that, yes, "[his car] door's open, but the ride/it ain't free". But I think I've clearly said enough. I'll allow you to further peruse the lyrics at your own leisure.

    The fault, ironically enough, comes from the music. Don't get me wrong, it's gorgeous. Not quite the maze of "Born to Run", but a pretty thrilling thing to listen to regardless. From the piano to the guitar, it's fantastic and executed perfectly: "Well, I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk" – cue 2 second guitar solo. The issue is...it's too happy. Which, in and of itself, isn't a bad thing. It matches the rest of the album which is (I think) for the most part pretty upbeat.

    And why shouldn't it be? Sure, the lyrics are often afraid and anguished from the suffering, but this isn't an acknowledgement. This is a call to action, a fight back and a scream of rebellion that only rarely becomes downtrodden.

    And yet...I dunno. Maybe it's because for the longest time, at one point, I didn't have the original album and the only version I had of "Thunder Road" was the one off of In Concert/MTV Plugged. Then again, during that time, I had the version of "Born to Run" from Chimes of Freedom and both are very similar (stripped down to one or two instruments, a lot slower, and very sad). Yet I find "Born to Run" fine as it is. I just get left with this feeling like there's a disservice being done to the lyrics with the original. There's fear, very alive fear, in those lyrics. A slow, piano only version of "Thunder Road" seems to capture the spirit far more perfectly. The music works in the original, don't get me wrong. But the stripped down version does the song far more emotional justice and has a far greater emotional maturity. That wonder of Mary moving to the radio on the porch isn't lost. Yet when he asks her not to turn him home...God, you feel that pain.... It just...the original almost doesn't seem to compare. And yet, what could you do? The other version would be sorely out of place on the album. I'm giving it five stars, regardless, because it still fits with the whole of the album and is still a mind-blowing song. But the other version is far better.

    In spite of this, that end of the original is perfect. Whichever version, "Thunder Road" really isn't itself without it. Every time, slow or fast, it still manages to convey that sense of going forward. When it's slow, it's a steady, unstoppable plodding. When it's fast, it's a stampede, as if the feet are moving so fast that they trip over themselves in the rush and glory of it all. Either way - we're going somewhere.

    Tenth Avenue Freeze-out – 4 stars, if not for "Night" and "She's the One" it'd be a 5
    The lyrics aren't quite on par as some of the best on this album, sadly. As Mr. Ward (from American Studies) often said to me, it's the stories that really make the stuff that just draws you in (probably why The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle is one of the best albums ever, far as I'm concerned). Yet the second that main riff hits – from the long stretched note of the horn to the piano and guitar supplied groove, fuck, this is musical Heaven.

    I remember, when trying to re-listen to this album again, rediscover why so many love this album (since, admittedly, I grew up on this so it's mostly nostalgia and the fact that it sounds good that was driving my opinions. I missed a lot of the little things and I actually didn't play this album much other than 2 or three songs; that's changed now), I was comparing this version to the version off of the Live in New York album. It might have just been bad acoustics, but I think they tried to substitute the horns for just metal guitars. Which, admittedly, it works – but in comparison to the original, it practically seems a sin. The gorgeous lightness of the piano with the steady blasts of the horns and the guitar weaving its way through it all cannot be replaced.

    Plus – it just sounds like old rock (something that most people these days wouldn't know two things about, it seems). You can hear the jazz influences alive in it.

    A sort of fictional version of the creation of the E Street Band and Bruce's need for them for support, it packs plenty of emotion in its lyrics to keep it interesting.

     

    Teardrops on the city
    Bad Scooter [Bruce Springsteen] searching for his groove

    Seem like the whole world walkin' pretty
    And you can't – find no room – to – move

    Well, everybody better move over – that's all!
    'Cause I'm runnin'-on-the-bad-side and I got my back – to the wall

     

    Admittedly, not even Bruce knows what a Tenth Avenue Freeze-out is. You can always use your imagination, piece together clues from the lyrics and descriptions of the other songs on the album, or assume it's a term Bruce has made up and figure out the definition from the lyrics of the song.

    Regardless, it quickly becomes apparent that it's not so important what that one segment of the song is and that you should just realize the fantastic emotions that he's sending you are.

     

    I was standin' in the jungle
    Tryin' to take in all the heat they was givin'

    'Tiiiilll, the night is dark – but the sidewalk's bright
    And lined with the light of the livin'

    From a tenement window a transistor blasts
    Turned another corner, things got real quiet real fast

     

    Yeah, the story's been told time and time again and you could probably piece it together without hearing the song (given also the lyrics aren't that specific and kinda vague at some points). But it's that feeling of being at the cusp of just doing what you've always wanted to. That excitement, that frustration beforehand (I love the "teardrops" line), the bewilderment – just all of it. So that when the groove cuts away and the opening fanfare of the beginning before the groove hits kicks in, you feel that desperation

     

    And I'm aaaallllllllll alone...
    I'm all alone

     

    in spite of it being a song that you just want to get up and dance to. Clarence Clemons's (the saxophonist of the band) line "Now, kid, you better get the picture" sounds more like the parental warning of an older generation telling you this is how the world is, you can't do it this way, you're gonna fail. And the immediately following lines of

     

    And I'm oooonnnnnnn my own
    I'm on my own
    And I can't go hooommmmeeeee....

     

    just completes it as the groove kicks back in and the fear, the desperation, just feels like a part of life. By the time the last verse comes around, you're sold.

     

    Well, the change was made uptown
    And the Big Man [Clarence] joined the band [cue 5 second sax solo]

    Frrrrooooommm the coastline to the city
    All the little critters raised their hands

    I'm gonna sit back real easy and laugh
    When Scooter and the Big Man bust this city clear in half!

    Night – 3 stars
    Now, understand – it's not that "Night" is a bad song. In fact, as I re-look over the lyrics, I find them to be rather delicious in their own right (The rat traps filled with soul crusaders/The circuits lined and jammed with chromed invaders). Yet, in the end...well, it's just about escaping work. And, to be honest, most of the lines don't quite live up to that couplet. They come close, in their own subtle ways (noting that the highway "ignites" and then that last, fatalistic couplet "Somewhere tonight you run sad and free/Until all you can see is the night" really shocked me as I read them together, even after having listened to this song for years).

    But does it compare? It's like a sub-par version of everything. Which, for the boss, means some pretty decent shit regardless. But in comparison, it just doesn't match. It comes off feeling like more of a repeat, really (from the desperation, the crushing feeling of it all, and even the customary anonymous girl that is the narrator's desire).

    And, musically, I'm not really sold. Again, it's not bad...it's just not as good as it could be. There is an inability to deny "Tenth Avenue Freeze-out"; "Night"'s melody just doesn't quite excite me so.

    So, I give the track 3 stars because, in comparison to the other songs, it could've been better, not because it's a bad song. It deserves more stars if we're talking music in general, probably getting a 4. But on the scale of Born to Run, it gets a 3.

    Regardless of the rating, it still fills in the album. Because of its existence, we now get a vision of the worker who's just trying to make it through the day in the world that's being painted for us.

    Backstreets – 5 stars
    Finally, we get a truly depressing song on this album, other than "Meeting Across the River" (even though I feel "Meeting" actually isn't all that depressing). And...wow, is it fantastic.

    Once more, it's dealing with the concept of getting out. However, in spite of the anthems of "Thunder Road" and "Born to Run", it actually contemplates the failure. Yet, it's not really that their dreams failed. It's that they failed. While "Jungleland" warns of the possible destruction of their own environments and both "Born to Run" and "Thunder Road" seem like calls to escape it, "Backstreets" bemoans the results when they fail themselves so bitterly that it almost burns. The emotions are all there again, so desperate they seem ready to tear out of the song itself, but (with so terrible a subject matter) it seems, this time, ready to burn everything else down in its misery.

    The song beautifully starts out with a piano solo, weaving the melody that's to portray the whole song. The percussionist, Max Weinberg, provides a drum beat that sounds, fittingly, like a heartbeat. As the piano goes on, other instruments add in as the music rises in intensity, seemingly portraying the story of the song without words. Just as it rises in a final roar, it fades and then dies as the first stanza kicks in:

     

    One soft infested summer, me and Terry became friends
    Trying in vain to breathe the fire we was born in
    Catching rides to the outskirts, tying faith between our teeth
    Sleeping in that old abandoned beach house, getting wasted in the heat, yeahhh...
    Hhhiiiddinngg on the Backstreets
    Hhiiiding on the Backstreets
    With a love so hard and filled with defeat
    Running for our lives at night on them Backstreets

     

    It seems almost that the two's relationship is framed by that world they're trying so hard to stave off. Lost in a cruel and harsh world, they are their source of comfort, their reminder that there's still a reason to fight:

     

    Slow dancing in the dark on the beach at Stockton's Wing
    Where desperate lovers park, we sat with the last of the Duke Street Kings
    Huddled in our cars, waiting for the bells that ring
    In the deep heart of the night, we cut loose from everything – to go
    Rrruuunninngg on the backstreets
    Rruuuning on the backstreets
    Terry, we swore we'd live forever
    Takin' on them backstreets together

    Endless juke joints and Valentino drag
    Where dancers scraped the tears up off the streets dressed down in rags
    Running into the darkness: some hurt bad, some really dying
    At night, sometimes, it seemed you could hear the whole damn city crying

     

    Notably, there's continual language hinting at an inseparability from that darkness. As if timed by it, it determines when they release their own inhibitions in an attempt to escape it. While being abused by it, they run directly into that darkness.

    What is it? I'd like to think life. Likely to tie in with that theme thus far for the album of just people who have thrown you out, outcasted you, written up a bunch of hypocritical rules you couldn't hope to fit in, and all else you might think of along those lines, it could really be much more as well. Personally, there are easily themes of depression that I read out of darkness. Maybe they try to use that dark for their own sense of identity or comfort (dancers scraped the tears up off the streets dressed down in rags). I don't know. Regardless, it's a community of sufferers in the end (At night, sometimes, it seemed you could hear the whole damn city crying).

    In spite of that, I still argue that the failure lies in the characters themselves. For it's after that admittance of a whole city of sufferers that the narrator addresses that Terry leaves him. And by that point, he no longer cares about the rest of it all, not caring who is blamed or what it right or what is wrong, perhaps not even able to know anymore:

     

    Blame it on the lies that killed us
    Blame it on the truth that ran us down
    You can blame it all on me, Terry
    It don't matter to me now...
    When the breakdown hit at midnight
    There was nothing left to say
    But I hated him
    And I hated you...when you went away

     

    Bruce has been criticized before for an almost need on many songs to add some kind of noise in where there isn't lyrics being sung, making his own vocals ever-present. Perhaps there is good reason to question some of his odd, well, squeals at points of certain songs. This isn't one of those moments.

    Stripped of everything, it's a bellow of pure anguish. Without the use of words, he's communicated everything, almost as if everything so previously well done in the song wasn't needed.

    And it's in that stanza, I feel, that their own faults are revealed to be the cause of the final suffering, the defeat, and the admission of that defeat. For one, while (until the point where he says it's alright to blame him) the lyrics focus on blaming lies (a dream deterred?) and a truth they refused to face, if the blame didn't somehow lie with their own actions, it would ignore the kinda huge fact that Terry is leaving him.

    There's also the aspect that if the inescapable truth they refused to accept was there could be no change, no hope for something better, then Thunder Road is a myth (in terms of this album). Forget hoping for it, it's just a killer, nothing more. It's not a possibility of failure – it is failure.

    Interestingly, the breakdown hits at midnight, the pinnacle of darkness. Again, I think this is due to Terry's abandonment. But the thing that solidifies my belief in this is once the music fades for Bruce to whisper:

     

    Laying here in the dark, you're like an angel on my chest
    Just another tramp of hearts crying tears of faithlessness
    Remember all the movies, Terry, we'd go see?
    Trying to learn how to walk like the heroes – we thought we had to be!
    And after all this time, we find we're just like all the rest:
    Stranded in the park – and – forced – to – con-fess – to
    Hhhiiiddinngg on the Backstreets
    Hhiiiding on the Backstreets
    We swore – forever friends!
    On the Backstreets until the end

     

    I very well may be reading things which simply aren't there into this song, but I find that Terry and the narrator's relationship was supposed to represent difference. That darkness, those backstreets, that feeling of outsideness and outcasting that was bred from their environments is forever a part of them. As he says at the beginning of the song, "Trying in vain to breathe the fire we was born in." It's a difficult bit of gymnastics, incorporating the bad of your life with who you are. As someone with depression, I do it daily. There's a sense of identity. Yet there has to be more. After all, we're talking about a negative. On its own, it leaves a bleak view.

    "Trying to learn how to walk like the heroes we thought we had to be" – something is broken in her betrayal. A sense of heroism. A sense of something more. What it is, I can't rightly concretely articulate. But the result is them having to confess to hiding on the Backstreets. Every time these streets have been evoked, there was the concept of running and hiding on them. But there was no sense of judgment. The scenarios were given as they were, with the bad, good, and ugly consequences frankly spoken. But here is a blatant shame to the hiding that wasn't there before.

    They are stranded in the park – not moving, not going forward. This image of "just another tramp of hearts crying tears of faithlessness" leaves only the realization that they are just like all the rest: going nowhere, nothing special, nothing heroic. Like all the others just struggling to survive, running headlong into the darkness though it may kill them, the narrator and Terry are left only with the fire they are born in – nothing more.

    Born to Run – 5 stars
    The blogger I had mentioned earlier. As he was choosing his last songs, he placed "Born to Run" as the greatest Bruce Springsteen song. While that is so difficult a thing to choose, I remember thinking, "What?!?!" That overplayed, by now cliché song? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful song, definitely huge at its time, and something I love. But it's almost too cheerful and not nearly as lyrically beautiful as some of Bruce's other works. Such opinions seem childish to me now.

    Really, the blogger said it the best, so I'm going to just let him speak for this one. Sometimes we get so used to something, we forget the impact, the gravity of those words:

    "Start with Ernest ‘Boom’ Carter’s opening drum shots, and then marvel at the fact that the guy played on all of one Springsteen recording and it turned out to be ‘Born to Run.’ Then stand back and prepare for that first crash of sound that hits you with reckless impact. Seemingly a thousand instruments coming at you at once, even though the album credits list a mere six players contributing to the track.

    "Now, listen, really listen to that opening riff again. Listen to how it seems to bust down walls, break invisible chains, clear your sinuses, and promise nothing short of infinity. And, hey, keep in mind that Steve Van Zandt, fittingly, made an unsung contribution to the track by altering Springsteen’s initial riff simply because he misheard it. Bruce liked the riff the way Steve heard it better, and that became the riff etched in the annals of rock history. Who knows what might have happened if he hadn’t happened along in the studio that day, but that’s part of Steve’s indefinable genius, isn’t it?

    "OK, now the lyrics begin, and you need to hear how Bruce nails the existence of an entire generation in two electric lines: ‘In the day we sweat it out on the street of a runaway American dream/At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines.’ Do you notice how his description of these folks is peppered with such explosively active phrases? ‘Sprung from cages on Highway 9/Chrome-wheel fuel-injected and stepping out over the line.’ There is so much motion and potency in these words, a dead-on depiction of frustrated youth afraid to stand still because they might never be able to start again.

    "At this point, take into account how Bruce’s narrator has an ulterior motive with all of this fancy talk: He’s trying to convince his girl, Wendy, to join him on an escape from ‘this town,’ which he describes as if it were a living entity, a remorseless Terminator programmed to grind down hope and promise. As David Sancious’ piano swirls all around him, Bruce gets to the point of his argument: ‘We got to get out while we’re young/’Cause tramps like us, baby, we were born to run.’

    "A couple things you need to consider at this point. First of all, what a pinpoint choice of words when he calls himself and those like him ‘tramps.’ He could have said ‘bums like us,’ but ‘tramps’ has just the right tinge of romance clinging to it, more apt to the ebullient music. Next, think about how endlessly profound the phrase ‘Born to Run’ is. Born to run from their problems. Born to run because it’s in their nature, an instinct no different than a shark’s single-minded quest to eat. Born to run because inertia is tantamount to death. Born to run with all of the grace and beauty of a gazelle, and born to run in a desperate, messy gait to escape the hellhounds of the past.

    "As the next verse begins, it’s time for you to hone in on Garry Tallent’s burbling bass underpinning the entire grandiose structure of the song. But try also to notice how Bruce balances a genuinely heartfelt and chaste promise to Wendy with some bawdy talk to appeal to her more prurient side: ‘Wendy, let me in, I want to be your friend, I want to guard your dreams and visions/Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims and strap your hands across my engines.’ But for all of that bravado, this guy quickly reveals himself to be vulnerable: ‘I’m just a scared and lonely rider’ who wants to know ‘if love is real.’ The multi-faceted nature of this character is part of what makes this song so enduring.

    "OK, time for Clarence. Just sit there with your jaw open at his lightning quick solo. Ain’t nobody running anywhere faster than that. But prepare for a change of pace, because now the bridge arrives, and the music has an almost dreamlike quality. All the better to accompany Springsteen’s description of the nightlife. He highlights its allure, from the picturesque scenery to the sounds of the traffic to the boys and girls.[...]

    "You can also appreciate, especially in this period in which we live when irony rules and all genuine gestures are vied suspiciously, the unabashedly romantic nature of the line that ends this section: ‘I want to die with you, Wendy, on the streets tonight in an everlasting kiss.’ With that, the reverie is shattered by a blistering drag race between Bruce on guitar and Clarence on sax, all leading to the drum-rolling, instruments-poised-to-strike crescendo.

    "I can’t begin to calculate the number of times that I’ve listened to ‘Born to Run,’ and, let me tell you, the moments following that crescendo give me chills every time. The main riff returns, this time embellished by all of the Spectorian grandeur surrounding it, and Bruce bursts out in a voice so cathartically desperate it practically cracks with the immortal couplet: ‘Highway’s jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive/Everybody’s out on the run tonight but there’s no place left to hide.’

    "Consider now how those lines may have resonated with their creator, and how that desperation wasn’t a put-on. Springsteen was putting everything into this song, because it might very well have been his last chance. With two mediocre-selling albums in his rear-view that didn’t come close to matching the hype his record company heaped on him, had ‘Born to Run’ flopped, Bruce likely wouldn’t have been given another shot to go this big again. His career was at stake; talk about rising to the occasion.

    "It should all be gravy from here, but rest assured that Bruce isn’t going to mail it in. Because in the final lines, you realize that these two might never get out, grounding this song in a sorrow that runs counterpoint to the lofty optimism. It deepens the entire enterprise when the narrator qualifies his final promise to Wendy with ‘I don’t know when.’ But, then again, as we are reminded three times in increasingly impassioned refrains, ‘Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run.’

    "Now savor every second as the E Street Band, albeit one with a one-off lineup containing Sancious and Carter, brings it all home with gusto as Bruce gives his ‘Whoa-ohs’ every last ounce of energy he has. As the reverb of the final note dissipates, how do you feel? Exhilarated? Heartbroken? Blown away? Inspired? Spent? If you feel all of the above, then you’ve followed my instructions to the letter."

    She's the One – 3 stars
    This one, to me, is like "Night". Sorry to say, hearing about a femme fatale just isn't all that interesting to me. In my usual macabre way, you'd need to really make it twisted to grab my attention (Junichiro Tanizaki's short stories are a fantastic read).

    The lyrics are good, as per usual. But they're short and somewhat sparse and it never leaves the fact that it's just descriptions of this girl. She remains almost a caricature filling out the cliché femme fatale role.

    Musically (I could probably be crucified for this amongst Bruce fans), it doesn't interest me any more than "Night". There are live versions where Bruce attaches an intro titled "Mona" to the song. There, he plays in a loose, almost rambling fashion very similar to the style on The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle. Deadly quiet at time, stretching out, with long wails of almost incoherency at points and a drawl that is pure Bruce, it directly contrasts the very tight and on point arrangement and sound of the entirety of Born to Run. Jacking this 4 and a half minute song up to between 13 and 15 and a half minutes and merging these two very distinct (though classic) sounds of rock 'n' roll, I would have been a thousand times more interested in this musically.

    Again, it's not bad musically. But there isn't enough here in total (just as with "Night") to make me give this more than 3 stars (again, on a Born to Run scale). Even in terms of the album...it's a fun song, but what does this random femme fatale have to do with the concepts and motifs of the album thus far?

    Again, good song, even if not one of the best...but an oddball on the album.

    Meeting Across the River – 5 stars
    So short, it's more like a preface to "Jungleland" – but it's sure as Hell downright perfect, regardless. With a piano backdrop and a trumpet pushing pure, sad jazz (while in the midst of it all, a lone pass is heard strumming), it's a gorgeous track to lay the story of a guy trying to get his friend to give him a ride, so he can make good on a shady deal.

    There really isn't much else to say. If I say more, I reveal the story and that's something that you ought to just experience for yourself. We don't know what'll happen to these guys. Maybe they run afoul. Maybe not. But we wind up understanding and sympathizing with the trap they're encased in, hoping they succeed.

    Jungleland – 5 stars
    Alright – this – this is one of the best song ever made. And I don't mean it ranks in there, maybe with some songs better than it. No, no – I mean that this is what to aim for in a song. It ranks at the very top. Maybe there are others which tie with it. But that's it, they just tie. And for someone as indecisive as me, who would never dare to rank something solely the best because I couldn't say if something else is better (notice how I still admit others could tie) – that's saying something.

    Let's start with that undeniable beginning. Two notes from the violin and then the piano. Gracefully, the violin weaves beautiful musical strokes as the piano dances around it. Considering the subject matter, there are plenty of other instruments which might have been used. Yet that captures "Jungleland" so perfectly – look beyond the literal to what it means. It's newfound and dreams, the waking and birth of something just budding, just beginning.

    Then the lyrics enter:

     

    The rangers had a homecoming
         in Harlem late last night
    And the Magic Rat drove his sleek machine
         over the Jersey state line
    Barefoot girl sitting on the hood of a Dodge
         drinking warm beer in the soft summer rain
    The Rat pulls into town, rolls up his pants
    Together they take a stab at romance and disappear down Flamingo Lane

     

    The heroes have already been determined within the first lines. As the police have some sort of great bust in Harlem, the Magic Rat escapes and slides into New Jersey, completely decked in style. Stuck in a world of entrapment, he finds escape, independence, and self-sufficiency within crime. this is important, integral to the understanding of these characters.

    After the Magic Rat's been introduced, now so is the barefoot girl. She is possibility. That very line is everything as it should be: "Barefoot girl sitting on the hood of a Dodge drinking warm beer in the soft summer rain." Sure, it's male-centric and, really, semi-superficial. But it's that instinctual picture of desire and beauty – just a girl, barefoot, sitting on a car drinking a warm beer, something so natural and not dressed up and yet capable of moving you so slightly.

    Together, they take a chance, go out on that limb, and just see what the Hell might happen. Flamingo Lane is more than just a street – it's life and they're intent on living it.

     

    Well, the maximum lawman run down Flamingo
         chasing the Rat and the barefoot girl
    And the kids round here look just like shadows
         always quiet, holding hands
    From the churches to the jails
         tonight all is silence in the world
    As we take our stand
         down
            in
               Jungleland

     

    As the two enter Flamingo, we enter their world. It starts with the persecution, going to the support in the face of such odds, to then their representation. And yet, in their own way, they are taking their stand. Forced to forever hide in the backstreets, and run like the tramps they're made to be, in their own way, they present their own form of resistance. While it's never concretely stated the way they resist, it's notable that right at the moment "From the churches to the jails tonight all is silence in the world" is sung, the organ strikes up to join the piano. By the time "down...in...Jungleland" is finished, the music has turned into a roar with the guitar joining the fray.

     

    Well, the midnight gangs assembled
         and picked a rendezvous for the night
    They'll meet `neath that giant Exxon sign
         that brings this fair city light
    Man, there's an opera out on the turnpike
         There's a ballet being fought out in the alley
    Until the local cops, cherry top,
         rips this holy night
    The street's alive as secret debts are paid
         contacts made, they vanished unseen
    Kids flash guitars just like switch-blades
         hustling for the record machine
    The hungry and the hunted
         explode into rock 'n' roll bands
    That face off against each other out in the street
         down
            in
               Jungleland

     

    The description continues and the connection between art and their life is more firmly established. The city becomes alive as the mundane and violent are turned into operas and ballets. The battles out on the streets are then matched to the battles of the bands, wielding their instruments like weapons. This is fittingly finished with a guitar solo, speeding up, building even further until bubbling over into:

     

    In the parking lot the visionaries dress in the latest rage
    Inside the backstreet, girls are dancing to the records that the DJ plays
    Lonely-hearted lovers struggle in dark corners,
         desperate as the night moves on
    In just one look and whisper...they're gone

     

    And with that, everything dissipates with a long blast from Clarence Clemons's Sax. In a solo that so entirely captures the night, in a way that tinges on a cliché jazz melody that undeniably reminds you of a city night to an original, whole melody that so perfectly grasps the wasted emotions of desperation and a look for solace that it surprises you that this song can once again do something so damn right.

    As that goodness ends and the violin and piano creep to the forefront, the violin too fades so that we just have that lone piano. In slow, steady and blunt notes, it jarringly contrasts to the uproarious and defiant sound previously in the song. Riding with the piano notes, Bruce begins:

     

    Beneath...the city...two hearts beat
    So-ul engines running through a night so tender
    In a bedroom, locked,
         in whispers of soft
         refusal...and then
         ...surrender
    In the tunnels uptown...the Rat's own dream guns him down
    Shots echo down them hallways in the night
    No one watches an ambulance pulls away
         or as the girl shuts out the bedroom light...

    Outside the street's on fire in a real death waltz!
         between what's flesh and what's fantasy
    And the poets down here don't write nothin' at all
         they just stand back – and let it all be

    And in the quick of a knife!
         they reach for their moment and try to make an honest stand...
    But they wind up wounded...not even dead...
    Tonight
       in
          Jun-
             gle-
                land!

    And with that Bruce erupts with a wild cry, the articulation and voice of every character that just tried to get by, to live, to make something of that world they were born in; we hear "Go-Cart Mozart’s insane ramblings, the Ragamuffin Gunner’s jaded fatalism, Crazy Janey’s healing sweet nothings, Zero and Blind Terry’s ghostly laughter, Madame Marie’s foreboding warnings, Spanish Johnny’s tragically romantic serenade to Puerto Rican Jane."

    By the end of that, words cannot describe the experience, the perfect articulation of life itself. It doesn't matter you never knew these people. Humanity has been shown to you and you mourn their suffering, understand their joy, respect their defiance. Drained and left naked, you're rendered breathless. Every time, that's what I'm left as.