October 13, 2009

  • I have to wonder if it's simply Coming Out Week that has me so riled, or if I'm just charged in general (vague sentence is vague, btw).

    So, if you didn't know, you will know now - National Coming Out day was on last Sunday this year. However, in light of most school institutions and the importance of the event, I am continuing to think of it as a Week.

    "Well, why is this so apparently important?" you may ask me.

    Well...people don't think you exist.

     

     

    Yes, yes, they are aware of you, they know your name, all that good stuff. But they don't actually believe you when you say you aren't straight. You see, many people still think that heterosexuality is the only orientation and that you are simply taking rather liberal actions with how you want to get turned on otherwise. Yes, turned on. You see, it isn't affection or simply feelings towards another person when put into a non-heterosexual situation.

    Now, of course, not all people are like that. And, if you know them, my question is to you why aren't you out yet with them then?

    Okay, okay, it's all very daunting (admittedly so; I was there at one point). You worry about the reaction from people; Hell, maybe you aren't ready yet to take on an identity such as that fully yet.

    The difference that it makes, though, lies utterly in that it changes your future interactions dramatically. You begin to feel more in your own skin about the entire situation, you begin to lose the fear of being open and honest about it all on a day-to-day basis.

    And while there are many, many personal benefits for yourself throughout this process, it cannot be ignored (nor stressed enough) the change you may create and the benefits you may establish for others.

    I like to think that if every person who believes that gay people are a myth were to find out how many gay people they actually know, they would use logic enough to understand that so many people so convinced in this makes it very difficult to think that it's just some fad or poor choice.

    Obviously, I know better. They may move to tolerating you but not bothering (nor, perhaps, working against) your equality even still.

    However, I know better than to expect all people to do that. Maybe they never expected you to be gay or bi or Trans - but faced with this, they must reëvaluate their original thoughts on the subject.

    Maybe they didn't know anyone who was gay before and you get to give them that future image they will have of gays as a whole.

    Hell, I don't know.

    And I'm not going to stand before you and expect you to follow this course of action. I don't know what your situation is, or what you may be going through.

    And, really, I still stand by the position that your orientation is something quite personal, so that no one has a right to tell you when you have to reveal it (unless you make a living of demonizing and illegalizing gay people - we will out as you deserve to be outed).

    So, for this week, maybe just reflect upon the choice. Perhaps even do it. Or maybe just thank some brave gay, bi, or Trans individual who has the courage to live their life as they are, undaunted, without fear.

    Or thank your allies, supportive church, or who ever else makes life a little easier for the gay community.

    But do not neglect this week, do not minimalize it. Even if you live life unbothered, freedom of harrassment is not freedom. And no matter what anyone tells you, you deserve better.