December 28, 2008

  • I hate to sound ungrateful...but I have that feeling of discontent. I've hung out with three dear friends of mine today (all of which I have the highest opinions for and enjoy the company of)...yet I am discontent. Which, if you were to ask me, is the epitome of...well, among other things, pointlessness.

    I have no reason to complain at the moment - done with finals, break, and plenty of people who give a shit about me (God bless their souls). But I feel a bit pointless, truth be taken.

    Yes, yes, you all know, I feel like I have to be driven by a point and reason. But it is rather awful, when it comes to. I suppose that old fear that lurks in all our minds - were we to have everything perfect...would we still be happy?

    I'm used to the assembly line. Get it done - that's it. I can get by. Hell, I've gotten by on 19 years of life. Living is easy - surviving is easy. Enjoying it is the hard part.

    And yet just this entry is making me feel better (sadistic, I know). Maybe it's the aspect of thinking, being introspective. Maybe it's that the topic is depressing and somehow I get a sick normalcy (I would say pleasure, but that's not the highlight of it really - it's feeling right for once and not feeling off: normalcy) out of anything dark and dreary and downing.

    Something is saying it isn't right. Feeling normal shouldn't be a fleeting experience and just getting by shouldn't be my main priority. But perhaps that's just society's view and they happen to be wrong. Who is to say?

    So, what made me venture into this odd little thought?

    Well, one, the opening paragraph - I should leave friends with a slightly more fulfilling feeling, but maybe that's just me. And, two, because my biggest drive (purpose...), usually, in life is helping others.

    I'd give you the damn world, if I could, I can guarentee that. But how am I to tell anyone it'll be alright, hang in there, things pick up...if I can't exactly guarentee it for myself?

    Sad, pitiful, little issue, ain't it?

    As I sigh...that entry solved nothing, didn't it? Hope you're all doing well.