October 19, 2008

• Is any one else irritated by how they display love in the media? Probably. Do I really need to elaborate? Damn, there goes my rant.

  So, in English, we're reading an incredibly depressing book that focuses a lot on death and, I believe, depression. So, the beginning parts, the girl mentions her interest in death from a young age. Throughout what we've read so far, everyone else seems to find it playful and poking fun - funny. I totally didn't see that. There is some dark humor, but I read it more as sarcasm. It didn't seem playful; it seemed resigned and observatory.

  In one portion, she sees the number 1-800-SUICIDE flash across the T. V. screen and, for whatever reason, calls it.

  Do you feel like killing yourself? the man on the other end of the receiver asks. You tell him, I feel like I'm already dead. When he makes no response you add, I am in death's position. He finally says, Don't believe what you are thinking and feeling. Then he asks, Where do you live?

  They read that portion and think she's exploring death, then gets stuck in a situation by calling the number so doesn't know how to respond. This is funny. I see a society that has no clue how to deal with the depressed. There is humor to this piece, but it is dark - the irony. Is it just me? Am I reading it wrong?

  The entry is not meant to depress but marvel at how my interpretation of this book can be so far from what they see. I read this and the voice is tired, too tired for even misery. Not because of some self-reflection or anything like that but because that is the only logical viewpoint I can see this narrator possessing, considering what she's going through.

  As I watch my mother's mouth move, I ask myself: Am I often troubled by constipation? Have I ever vomited love or coughed up blame? Is anything wrong with my mind?

  Next to the paragraph in the book something wrote confusing. Is it really that much so?

  • 11:10 pm
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